The Fire Within
by taernith101
Summary: After the battle of the five armies many believed they had lost more than they could bear, sometimes it takes a push in an unlikely direction to put the broken pieces back together again. Sometimes you must look behind or you might miss what you were looking for in the first place.
1. Pro

Welcome to The Fire Within.

I embarked upon this journey a while ago and with Oakenshield's Star now onboard as my Beta I am excited to invite you to join us. I found myself constantly listening to the song 'Heal' by Tom Odell when I began writing this story encase anyone likes a soundtrack to go along with their reading. So please relax, enjoy and if you feel so inclined drop a review when you're done.

Thank you, Taernith

Prologue

He was dead!

She stood at the lookout in the ruined city of Dale and felt her heart break, as the breath left her lungs. The signal fire that Kili had promised to arrange to keep burning for as long as the youngest of the line of Durin still drew breath was no more than a slightly smoldering pile of ashes.

He had sworn it to her as Dalin's men had escorted her from the infirmary in Erebor and out the gate sending her swiftly away and back to the world of men and for the first time in seven days, the fire was out.

He was dead!

How did she start breathing again? Every day for the last week had been an exercise in holding her breath until she saw the signal fire still burning. She stared at the side of the mountain, wiling the fire to light, willing a familiar figure to appear and relight the smoldering wood.

He was dead!

She gripped the side of the battlements, the roughly hewn rock digging into the palms of her hands as her knees weakened and she relied heavily on the wall to hold her up. What did she do now? Where did she go from here? How long could she stand here and will the fire to tell her a different truth? How long until the fact he was really dead sank into her very bones?

He was dead!

"Lady Tauriel."

Bard, Lord of Dale was swiftly moving up the stone stairs to the battlements on which she stood. He paused as she turned to him, his dark eyebrows folding in on themselves over dark eyes as he took in the expression on her face.

"My lady?"

"Do you need something from me, my lord?" Tauriel made her legs work and support her as she turned to the Lord of Dale. She was not ready to accept the truth staring her in the face, let alone share the bone crumbling grief that was radiating from her heart through her body.

"I have word from Erebor. Thorin, King Under the Mountain, has asked me to attend him at my earliest possible convenience. I leave for the mountain within the hour and would like to extend an invitation for you to join me as part of my escort. Thorin says you are welcome." Bard said and she felt suddenly nauseous.

The King was already sending allies in the light of his youngest nephew's demise and Bard not knowing what she already knew, was inviting her to have to stand stoic before a grieving King when her own heart was in tatters.

"I thank you for your offer, but I ride for Lothlórien as soon as I can procure provisions." Tauriel shook her head, not knowing that she had decided to flee the Lonely Mountain and its surrounding areas, until her destination had passed her lips. As it was her King that would not allow her return to Mirkwood, after she had chosen to remain in Erebor in the company of Thorin's kin and she wasn't sure when she would be welcome or be able to force her feet over Erebor's threshold knowing that he had been buried with his kin under rock and stone.

"I did not know you intended to leave Dale." The bowman looked more than a little taken aback by her sudden statement.

"There is nothing left for me here." She was decisive; her heart throbbed with the now spoken truth as she made a clipped bow to the new Lord of Dale. "Your kindness especially I shall never forget. If you have need for, send word and I shall do what I can to send aide to you. Give my deepest condolences to the King Under the Mountain."

"Swift and safe be your journey, my lady."

Still confused, Bard stood aside and let her pass, wondering within himself at the change less than twenty-four hours had brought about in the red haired she-elf and the strange message she had asked him to give to the dwarven King.


	2. Chapter 1

Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this journey and welcome to Chapter 1 of The Fire Within. I am looking to stick to a weekly or biweekly update schedule after posting this first chapter. I hope that you are enjoying what you are reading and that you will stick with me and let me know what you think. I am happy to respond to PMs and am opened to constructive critique.

See the end of this chapter for a glossary of Sindarin words and phrases used in this Chapter.

Thanks

Taernith

* * *

C1

Ten years later.

Life in Imladris was simple, peaceful. It was a place where quiet and rest came easily to those who wished for it. The lady Galadriel herself had sent her there with the purpose of helping her to find herself again, but instead she had lost focus. For a time Tauriel had wandered aimlessly through its halls, spent her time studying histories that she never absorbed and spoke little with her fellow inhabitants.

In Lothlórien they had taught her how to survive, gave her back the ability to breathe, break bread and contribute. There she had proven herself as huntress and scout, but the lady of Lórien had seen no true life come back to her countenance and had sent her, as she was, to Lord Elrond's keeping.

For over a month, she had wondered his halls until one of the regular patrol riders had been injured and she had volunteered to take his place. With Lord Elrond's blessing, she became a regular fixture on patrol and she soon took on work as a guide and guard for travelers looking for safe passage through the wilds.

While she never seemed to regain true happiness, she found herself content. She was able to use her training to continue her vendetta against the creatures of darkness and keep the loved ones of other's alive and well.

She had thrown herself into her work with reckless abandon that some whispered behind her back was suicidal. They were as right as they were wrong. While she was not willingly throwing herself on her own sword, if death chose to come for her, she was willing to meet it head on with both eyes open in hope that he was waiting for her on the other side.

Tauriel pulled a hiss back behind her teeth as Miluiel's apprentice pierced her skin with the needle. The last stitch in a row of eleven that would leave their mark on her forearm. Another scar to add to the others.

The apprentice looked up at her worriedly, quickly tying the final knot and snipping the excess thread as she gave him a slow nod. He had done good work. He layered a sweet smelling salve over the wound and pulled out a length of cloth to bind it as the doors to the infirmary opened and the lady Arwen appeared in the doorway.

From Aranel, seated next to her came a slightly exaggerated sigh that made the corners of Tauriel's mouth twitch. The apprentice had paused, his posture rigid as he looked at the lady who was being intercepted by Miluiel. Tauriel took the bandage from him as he stood and moved a safe distance away to one of the work benches.

"You must have your father speak some sense into her!" Miluiel said in a hushed tome as Arwen swept into the healer's hall.

Tauriel didn't have to look up to know the head healer of the house of Elrond was purposefully making her way over to the bed she was sat upon quietly, wrapping a length of linen bandage around her forearm and the freshly stitched gash on it. Aranel, a young officer in Lord Elrond's guard looked over at her and raised an eyebrow.

"I guess we're in trouble now." Aranel breathed.

"Nine orcs are dead and only twenty-three stitches between us. I doubt you will be chastised." Tauriel murmured back as Arwen answered the old healer.

"What would you have my say to her?"

The footsteps paused, a polite distance from the pair.

"I've patched her up twenty-seven times since she arrived and began her work here and so long as it was only her that I have had to continually heal. I have bitten my tongue but, Aranel has had to have twenty-one stiches in the last month alone now that she's following that one around." Miluiel's voice was pitched a little too loudly not to hear. Tauriel winched, while she knew she was careless and reckless in a fight, it had never been her intention to drag others down that same path with her. She had been in Rivendell on and off for almost six years. Perhaps this was the sign she needed that it was time to move on, permanently.

"She has her reasons and my father his reasons for sending those who go with her on patrol. She has not lost one member of her company yet." Arwen said softly. Her tone meant to be reasonable but having gotten to know Miluiel as well as she had and gotten just as quickly on her bad side, Tauriel knew the healer was only going to be affronted. "I will however bring up your concerns with _Ada_. Now are they both cleared to leave these halls?"

"There is no need for them to linger, my lady." The healer confirmed stiffly.

"Very good." Arwen started her advance again until she stood looking at the two unapologetic looking elleths. "Aranel, my father would have you rest until after dinner and then he would have you attend him."

"Very well, my lady." The younger elleth stood, turning her blue eyes on her companion. "Tauriel."

"You did well Aranel." Tauriel nodded as she too stood and Aranel left her alone with the Lord of Rivendell's daughter.

"Come, _Ada_ would like to see you." Arwen smiled at her, the same soft and sympathetic smile she used every time she saw her and she found herself wanting to snap back at it, but held her peace. While technically she did her own share of duties in Imladris, Tauriel was still only a guest being allowed to ply her trade with the homely house as her base of operations and it would do no good to have Arwen not on her side.

The two elleth, one dressed in a gown of fine silk and satin and the other in the soft linens and leathers of her craft walked side by side through the peaceful halls toward the courtyard where Lord Elrond preferred to attend his guests.

For a time, Arwen allowed her silence to reflect on her minor injury and to replace her bracer over the fresh bandage. The injury did not concern her, Miluiel and her apprentices were too good at their craft for there to be anything but a barely noticeable scar left over from the wound.

What was beginning to concern her was how easy it was to defend the caravans that had been requesting her aid as of late. Nothing but a skirmish here or there and even those were rare now, nothing to challenge her skill. Did that mean she was doing her job well or did it mean that the forces of darkness were once more focused elsewhere?

"While I understand your need to seek the hour of your own destiny, I would that you would take caution with those that have come to admire and follow in your footsteps." Arwen stopped suddenly and turned to face Tauriel. "There are other ways to move past your pain and there are those of us who would help you, should you wish it."

"Even in sharing there would be no end and I cannot bring myself to wish not to remember as the Lady of Lórien offered." Tauriel shook her head, the pain she carried in her chest throbbed once and then she refused to pay it anymore attention for the moment. There was always time in the darkness of night to examine her memories, give life to the dead in her thoughts and allow her grief voice.

"I will be more careful with Aranel." Tauriel conceded.

"Come then, Mithrandir has arrived and he has brought with him an unusual company." Without another word of explanation, Arwen led her into the courtyard where the tall figures of the wizard and his companions could clearly be seen speaking with the dark haired elvish lord.

"Legolas!" Tauriel cried and rushed forward.

The blonde head of her closest childhood friend whipping around to her direction as his eyes searched for her.

"Tauriel."

The smile that appeared on his face, made her feel at home and homesick all at once. While for the first time since she had left the city of Dale behind her, she actually felt a semblance of happiness. She forced herself to stop a respectable distance from him and reach out her arm to clasp his arm extended to her in greeting.

"My Prince!" She breathed, her eyes misting as she took in his lean form.

From the dust on his clothes from traveling and the slightest tightness in his brows that betrayed his tiredness. He was as familiar to her as drawing breath and with his presence come a comfort she had almost forgotten.

 _"Gîl síla erin lû e-govaded vín."_

"My dearest friend." He returned, using their joined arms to pull her into a tight embrace.

Tauriel melted against him, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, as the tears in her eyes threatened to fall within the view of too many.

"I am glad I accompanied Mithrandir this far, if only to see you again."

"And your father? He is well?" She asked quickly as she pulled her own emotions under her control once more.

"Stubborn, well, unchanged by the years," He replied. "He misses you more than he would openly admit."

Legolas stood back, holding her at arm's length before tugging lightly on the one long braid she had tucked into her outer leather traveling tunic.

"Interesting?"

"Men like to grab hair." Tauriel shrugged.

"You have given me fits these nine years, trying to find you." Gandalf said, his voice containing a notable lack of humor.

Tauriel turned away from her old friend to look at the wizard, both eyebrows raised at the tone he had chosen.

"You must not have looked hard enough Mithrandir. I have not been hiding." Tauriel bowed to the wizard, only then noticing the rest of the company with them. Two cloaked dwarves stood behind them and despite the hoods pulled over the tops of their heads, she noted quickly that they both were clearly female.

The younger red haired and dressed in light mail and leather armor with axe and blade strapped to either hip, stood next to the dark haired elder who was dressed in a plain and simple traveling attire. There was a wicked looking curved blade at her side and the expression on her face was just as fierce as her companions.

"Something tells me not to believe you, but that is a matter for another time." The wizard followed the direction of her gaze and made a 'humph' sound at the back of his throat, before continuing. "Lord Elrond tells us that you have fashioned yourself as a mercenary. A blade for hire?"

"I am not something nearly so unscrupulous." Tauriel protested.

She hired herself out to those in need of short term protection, minor nobility, merchants and their wares at times, but mostly she took up her sword and bow for those unable to afford lavish protection. Tauriel did not fight anyone's battles for them, nor did she carry out assassinations no matter how much gold was offered.

"I protect travelers, nothing more and it does not appear that you lack in protection while you travel in the company of my Prince or such well-armed dwarves!"

"Not so, not so indeed," Gandalf said quickly "We are travelers only, set out from Ered Luin to Erebor on a matter of some importance. When we met with your Prince who, on his way to meet with the rangers of the north, was stopping at Rivendell to give you word of summons from your king, I assumed, perhaps wrongly, that since we were all, with the exception of Prince Legolas, traveling in the same direction that you would be unopened to hiring on as guide and an extra sword."

"And what exactly is it you need protection from? I can travel much more swiftly without others to encumbrance me." Tauriel looked over at Legolas who had folded his arms across his chest and was now frowning.

"We need no protection from an elf!" The younger dwarf threw back her head.

"Sada!" The elder dwarf snapped. "It was you who started us down this path, hold your tongue and let us find a safe way to get us all back to Erebor."

Sada hissed, but otherwise held her tongue.

"Perhaps introductions would clear things up," Lord Elrond stepped in "This is the lady Sada, warrior of the dwarvish clan Firebeard and betrothed to the crown prince of Erebor, Fili. With her is the Princess Dis, kinswoman to the king."

Knowing spread through Tauriel's bones, Dis was sister to Thorin, mother of Fili, mother of her own lost Kili. Without warning, she swayed slightly; tiny dots of blackness swam in her vision as she took in the older dwarf woman and in her features, saw her son. She felt like she had taken a punch to the gut, breathing was suddenly a skill beyond her and beyond a profound desire to fold in on herself her brain seemed to have stopped working.

"Tauriel." Legolas' hand was firm on her elbow, his strength anchoring her to the earth beneath her boots and allowed her to get her bearings once more.

 _"Ilúvatar_ _deliver me_ _."_ She breathed closing her eyes tightly for a moment.

Here was a favor she could willing give to the dwarf who held her heart even in death. Perhaps in delivering them safely to the Lonely Mountain she could make up for the life she had been unable to save.

"My lady Tauriel you look unwell." Gandalf sounding concern.

"I am well, only tired. Aranel and I met an orc pack out hunting while we were on patrol, now I know why." Tauriel waved off his concern as she stood straight again, taking a fortifying breath before looking at the company once more. "I will take you as far as the halls of my king in Mirkwood. I am sure that a more suitable retinue can be arranged to either meet you there or take you on. With Lord Elrond's permission, we will leave at first light."

The elven lord inclined his head.

"And after supper, perhaps you can tell me what hunts you." This last she addressed straight at the dwarves who were scowling at her from under furrowed eyebrows.

"With Lord Elrond's assent, I will help you prepare for your journey and give you the message I carry from my father." Legolas had not released his grip on her arm for which she was suddenly thankful.

"We shall see you both at dinner." Lord Elrond inclined his head.

Tauriel half leant into her friend as they left the courtyard. Lord Elrond's next words to the gray wizard floating after her.

"That went better than I expected, the wounds on her heart are deep and she clings to them, unwilling still to allow healing. I half expected her to refuse to return to the east."

o0o

"You're in a foul mood." Kili moved out of the way of a thrown book as he walked into his uncle's study. "Still no word I take it?"

"It's been eight months!" Fili growled, abandoning the chair he had been sitting in favor of moving to the fireplace and throwing a log on the glowing embers.

Spring had come to the mountain, mostly dispelling the bitter cold, but rock took time to warm again and the evening still brought with it a chill.

"Ma will find her or she'll come back when she's ready. Sada's, she's always been, well, Sada." He shrugged picking up the book, smoothing the pages within and placing it carefully on the desk once more. Ever since his brother's betrothed had slipped out of Ereber in the middle of the night and seemed to vanish without a trace, Fili had been on edge, irrational and irritable. Thorin threw work at him and Kili did his best to absorb as much of his brother's agitation as possible so others didn't have too.

"She knew she couldn't just go disappearing like this anymore. She agreed when we got engaged." Fili ranted.

The same words as any other time they had spoken about the topic spilling from his mouth, like he'd never said them aloud before.

"She never has done cooped up well Fili and she was acting out of sorts for days before she took off. I would have thought you saw it coming." He had stopped trying to understand Sada or his brother's attraction to the dwarrowdam a long time before then. It wasn't that Sada was a bad sort, she was a good friend, had grown up with him, his brother, Gimli and Tol and was just as handy to have around in a fight as any of them too and therein lay all of the problems her and Fili had.

He wanted to protect and provide when Sada felt she was more than capable of standing on her own two feet, but the pair couldn't manage to stay apart and now the whole of Erebor was suffering for Sada's disappearance.

"I knew, I kept trying to head her off but she was bound and determined." Fili started pacing and then turned abruptly, his eyes flashing. "She would still be here if it weren't for you!"

"For me?" Kili's eyebrows shot up and he gave his brother a disbelieving look. He had made more than a few mistakes in his life, but making Sada Firebeard leave Erebor was not one of them.

"You're the one hung up on a bloody elf!" Fili glared at him "Tauriel's gone Kili, even Gandalf can't find her and none of the other pointy-eared bastards are willing to help or know where she is."

"Tauriel has nothing to do with Sada running off again!" Kili could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he clenched his fists at his side.

"She's the reason she left, couldn't stand seeing you walking around here refusing to even attempt to move on. She's bound and determined to do something about it." The crown prince shook his head.

"She wouldn't have felt that way if you had just managed to keep one little signal fire burning!" Kili slammed his fist into the desk he was standing next to; rage and heartache making him give voice to words he had purposefully never said before. Fili's expression changed completely and he made to take a step toward his brother, but Kili turned away from him.

"If Uncle comes looking for me, I have gone to Dale." And with that, Kili swept out of the room.

"Still no word from Sada or your dam?" Balin stopped the prince in the doorway as he slammed it shut.

"No and without her, he is ill tempered, unreasonable and I've had my fill of him. I'm going to Dale." Kili snapped, barely pausing as he moved swiftly around his uncle's chief advisor.

"Don't be too hasty lad, you haven't been much better than your brother these last years, pining as you have for your red haired lass. A little understanding will go a long way." Balin quickly fell in step with Thorin's younger heir.

"Hard to find common ground when both of us have reason to blame the other for the situation we are in now." Kili ground out.

"A mistake was made Kili by Dain, who could not recognize friend from foe and your brother was just as injured as you." The elder dwarrow was speaking to him as if he were his uncle, calm and measured but making his point clear.

"If that is the case, then I am even less to blame for the disappearance of that crazy Firebeard." He knew that Balin was only trying to lessen his temper, to keep things between him and his brother smooth. So that Thorin, who had so many more pressing matters on his plate, didn't have to deal with his sister's sons at war with each other.

"For now I ride for Dale."

"I will smooth things over with Fili." The old dwarrow shook his head with a frown.

"Not this time Balin, for once let him stew." And with that the youngest of the line of Durin left his elder behind.

o0o

"The Firebeard has reached Rivendell." The messenger barely paused to nod his head to his lord before he began to speak.

"So you have failed to secure her head again!" His master snapped, turning away from him with a billowing of his robes.

He had the good sense to hold his tongue as his lord clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace.

"She is one lone dwarrowdam traveling through the wild how hard can it truly be to overpower her?" The master's eyes were hard and a lesser man than the messenger would have been shaken to the core by his displeasure but the messenger just twitched.

"If it were truly as simple as you say my lord, I would proudly be presenting her head to you now but as it is, I've lost nearly thirty warriors in her pursuit for she is neither an untrained dam wandering the wilds or alone." He explained.

"Not alone? The prince sent an escort with her? Our intelligence said that she had left alone and in secret." The master paused his pacing.

"No, the princess Dis and a wizard dressed in grey accompany her and now they are in Rivendell, I'm sure to get an escort back to Erebor." The messenger replied.

"Which means a company of elves to go through." The master growled.

Elves were not a trifle to be messed with, not even for the well trained warriors he commanded.

"Most likely only one or two led by that red haired she-elf mercenary who lives there."

He shook his head. He had been told about the success of that particular elf against the orcs that roamed the roads that ran to the east.

"Tauriel!" The master growled her name with such venom that it surprised his subordinate "While not your first priority, if the opportunity to make sure she doesn't make herself known to the lords of the mountain presents itself, then take it."

"My lord?"

"Kill the Firebeard and the elf."

* * *

Glossary:

 _Ada_ – Father

 _Gîl síla erin lû e-govaded vín_. - A star shines upon the hour of our meeting.


	3. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone who is reading and a special thanks to Oakensheild's Star who is kindly betaing this story as well as my reviewers, MissCallaLilly and Griffind. I hope that you all continue to enjoy this story.

So please sit back, enjoy and leave a review!

Thanks, Taernith

* * *

C2

"How have you truly been _mellonamin_?"

Legolas sat in the Tauriel had shown him in her sparsely finished room as she pulled a well-worn pack out of her chest and began the process of laying out her personal items she would need for travel on her bed.

She had seen him look around the room and after over five hundred years of close friendship, she already could guess what he saw. When she looked around her chambers she saw functionality. A table and chairs, a desk, a closet, a chest and a bed. Tauriel had all that she needed and more than enough to keep her sparse belongings. What her closet friend saw was a lack of personal touches besides a single polished black stone shot with blue beneath the pillar on her small table.

"I am doing good here." She replied, folding her only formal dress and placing it deep within her pack under tunics and trousers.

"You are doing good here or you're doing good?" Legolas pushed her own words at her as he stood and bound the different parts of her bedroll in a way he hadn't done since she was barely an adult on her first assignment for the King. The gesture was familiar and comforting and her heart ached a little as she watched him.

She had missed him but to be near him had been to be too close to ground soaked with grief that she had no desire to stand on, but that now she found herself missing. The forests of Lórien and the sanctuary of Imladris had helped to shore up her strength and now she longed to see the Great Wood again and help to restore it to what it was in days gone by.

"Does it matter which?"

Tauriel turned away from him, making herself busy with the paperwork and books at her desk, She moved the copies of the completed contracts she had kept in a pile and put her expenses ledger on top of it before reaching for the blue, black stone that she had placed on the corner of the desk under its lit candle when she had taken off her cloak. It wasn't there. Her eyes snapped up to where Legolas stood, flipping it over in his hands as he examined it.

"Dwarvish runes," He said, his voice barely a whisper as a finger ran over the top of the polished stone. "You have accepted no communication from the east and yet you take on jobs that draw you ever westward. I am concerned that you are not doing as well as the lady of Lórien said and that this trip home would be less than a good idea."

He looked up from the stone and Tauriel was careful not to snatch it out of his hand, when he offered it back to her. She tucked it into her pocket, doing her best to ignore the relief she felt to have it safely back on her person.

"I have avoided the east for long enough and it has not changed how I exist. If my king would see me again than I am ready to return home to the Woodland realm." Tauriel took a deep breath and looked her prince in the eyes. Legolas had changed in the decade since she had last seen him, but the tender regard shining from the depths of his blue eyes had not changed. He believed that he was still in love with her and the hope that somehow, she would be able to overcome the sorrow of first love was as clear as it had ever been. "Your journey does not take you on the same path that I must travel _mellonamin_ and I feel there is much you must do before our paths will linger together once more."

"Perhaps you are right Tauriel." Legolas looked away from her as he moved toward the balcony that looked out onto the mountains that surrounded Imladris. "I am to go north and seek out the Dunedain. My father suggested that there is a young ranger that I should get to know." He said quietly, as though he was only half speaking to her and instead letting his thoughts flow into the room.

"Someone of interest to you or to the king?" She asked.

"I think in this instance, both."

He clasped his hands behind him as he paused at the open doors.

"What weighs so heavily on your soul?" Tauriel moved away from her pack to stand next to him. She had known the prince and been in his confidence most of her life and knew there was more to his thoughts than he was putting forth. Much more than a trip to the north or his unspoken but not unacknowledged love for her.

"My father would have you home, he has a task for you but I cannot help but feel that he will ask more of you than you can bare," He responded. "Darkness still moves, Sauron was not defeated. Instead he moves quietly in the shadows, preying on minds and interfering in matters that have yet to come to fruition. I fear that soon we will find clan pitted against clan, kingdom against kingdom and families torn apart. I fear middle earth weakens while our enemy grows stronger, biding his time."

"And still your father hides in his halls? Has the bowman failed in his leadership of Dale? Does the king under the mountain remain angry and sickened by his lust for power and gold? Do the princes of the woodland realm and Erebor hold no sway over their elders?" Tauriel laid a hand on her friend's arm.

"No." Legolas' fingers covered her own and he looked over at her with a faint smile.

"My father is once again in the company of those outside his gates. Granting council and encouraging the renewal of the old alliances. Bard has done well ruling his people and Thorin has turned out to be far wiser and less petulant than anyone could have hoped."

"And yet you fear darkness?"

Tauriel had spent too many years with her friend and prince to _not_ take his odd premonitions seriously.

"Take no mind of me, _mellonamin_ ," Legolas took a deep breath "I have neither the experience of my father, the wisdom of Lord Elrond, nor the foresight of the lady of Lórien. Perhaps I fear darkness too much."

"No one who has touched darkness can walk away unscathed. We must find our own ways to fight it." Tauriel replied resolutely.

o0o

Elves knew how to feast, their tables had been laden and their conversation constant and constantly cheerful. Music soothed the atmosphere and the lulling sound of voices speaking in Sindarin almost made her let her guard down, but first and foremost she was a princess of Erebor, sister to the king under the mountain and mother to the king to come.

Sada Firebeard sat next to her back ramrod straight, completely still and sour faced as Lord Elrond spoke quietly with their wizard companion and herself and got even stiffer when Tauriel arrived to supper with the elven prince, who had become an unwelcome addition to their party.

A heaviness laid upon the elf maid. She spoke animatedly with her prince and one or two of her elven companions, but her smile never quite lit her green eyes and she seemed more on guard than was warranted in a place such as Rivendell.

She was an elf and therefore held that strange ethereal beauty that was typical of her race. She was green eyed, fair skinned and red-headed, not as tall as some but taller than others and far too slender even for one of her own kind. Though stood between the prince of Mirkwood and Lord Elrond's daughter, she looked almost plain and certainly unremarkable. Despite her obvious flaws, this was the female that had stolen her son's heart and turned him against marriage to a nice dwarrowdam or any other female for that matter.

"I do not agree with how you wish to handle this matter." Lord Elrond was frowning as he brought her attention back to the conversation they had been having before Tauriel's arrival.

"This is a family matter. We have heard counsel from wizards and elves and would test her worthiness ourselves." Dis lifted her chin and gave the elf lord a disdainful look. Who was he to meddle in affairs that were not his own?

"Has she not proven herself time and again? She saved your son's life thrice and was rewarded with suspicion and treachery, but still you must test her once more instead of allow healing for everyone." Gandalf sounded frustrated, his eyebrows folding in on one another as he looked at her.

"Do not speak to me of treachery wizard. We leave for the mountain in the morning and not a word of my son will be spoken." Dis stood, her chair scraping off carefully tiled floor. Sada at her side. The music and conversation stopped abruptly as the eyes of the gathered elves turned to them. Fine, let them stare, she would not be questioned by those whose options were of little coincidence to her.

Sada flanked her as Dis left the dining hall and made her way back to the suite that they had been assigned. The rooms were large and well appointed. The arches that led to the balcony were carved as though two large trees had chosen to bend over and meet each other, just to make them and the beds could have fitted three adult dwarrow comfortably without one ever touching another.

The table and chairs that were in the room, though clearly of elven craftsmanship, were the perfect size for dwarrow. The walls were covered in beautifully made tapestries that depicted great acts of elven heroism, while the gossamer curtains fluttered in the light breeze that came softly through the open windows.

"She's not at all what I was expected." Sada sat down on the edge of one of the beds and undid the laces of her boots, pulling them off with a satisfied sigh.

"What exactly was it that you were expecting?" Dis snapped "A witch? A wild thing trapped in civilization? The shadow of an elf lingering into nothingness?"

"I certainly didn't expect to see her rebuke a wizard or leap into the arms of that elven prince." Her soon to be daughter in law snapped right back, kicking away her boots as her temper flashed. Fili would have his hands full with this one, but their sons would be strong and their kingdom well defended.

"You know more of elves than I do, is she lingering into nothingness?"

"I do not believe that she fades, but I do not think she is the same elf that my son once knew." The elder dwarrowdam replied, shaking her head.

"He loves her." The younger corrected.

"And do you still believe that you are doing what is right?" Dis felt herself deflate.

"I do." Sada's jaw tightened and she faced Dis down as though she were already queen.

Sada loved her eldest passionately and her youngest like her own brother. Kili's continuing pain in regards to the elf maid, had finally become too much for the hot-headed warrior to watch and while setting out on her search had turned out to fruitful, it had left them both vulnerable.

Orcs, men and dwarrow had taken up their swords against them to impend their journey home and their target had been clear from the beginning. Sada Firebeard was not meant to survive her journey.

"And yet you do not like what you see?" Dis asked, sitting down at the table and wondering again if what they were doing was right.

Was she risking one son's happiness at the cost of the other's? Was the price the reward?

"I do not like what she has reduced him to," Sada replied "and yet she is not like any other elf I have ever seen. She is pale, thin even among slender creatures and did you not notice the reaction she had to you? Like she was seeing a ghost. Perhaps Tauriel really does not know Kili is alive and if that is so, then are we doing what is right?"

"I am afraid that only time will tell Sada."

The princess of Erebor shook her head and hoped she was right.

o0o

 _No one trusted dwarves although why seemed to be a long lost or a far too distant memory from another time. Tauriel however, was intrigued by them and their arrival so suddenly in the woods as the evil in the air seemed to grow to the point of suffocation. It was the flash of light off of a polished surface that caught her eye and led her to the cell of the dark haired archer, whose life she had saved in the wood._

 _"The stone in your hand, what is it?" Tauriel turned toward the cell and peered inside._

 _"It is a talisman." He looked up at her briefly before looking down again at the stone in his hand. She moved closer to his cell, giving him her attention and wondering what kind of talisman a dwarf would be carrying with him while he traveled._

 _He was well featured for a dwarf. His hair dark and beard short and well cared for. He was the tallest among his party and younger than most of them as well, if she was any judge of these things. Tauriel had never been this close to a dwarf before and this particular one intrigued her. It may only have been a trick born of her own desires but he had seemed as curious about her earlier as she was about him._

 _"A powerful spell lies upon it, if any but a dwarf reads the tunes on this stone..."_ _He shook his head, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly upward but in humor or cruelty she could not decipher. "They will be forever cursed!"_

 _He held the stone up for Tauriel to see, showing her the strange runes that were carved into its surface. She took a step back, eyes narrowing in suspicion. It seemed that her prince was right about the stupidity and cruelty of dwarves._

 _The dwarf knew her no better than she knew him yet, he was willing to curse her just because she was elven._ _Tauriel turned to go feeling suitably ludicrous for thinking that somehow she might find her elders were mistaken._

 _"Or not. Depending on whether you believe in that kind of thing. It's just a token." He stumbled over his words, catching her attention again, drawing her back to the door of his cell. She smiled encouragingly at him, if he wished to speak kindly than she would listen. "A rune stone. My mother gave me it to me, so I'd remember my promise."_

 _"What promise?" Tauriel found herself intrigued again. What did a dwarven woman look like? Was a female seen as equal to her male counterparts or like humans seemed to view their women as subservient or somehow less? If she were to ask, would she even be given an answer?_

 _"That I would come back to her. She worries. She thinks I'm reckless." He shrugged, but the smile on his face betrayed him._

 _"Are you?"_

 _"Naw." He tossed the stone up in the air but it slipped through his fingers, slid across the floor and through the bars. Tauriel used her foot to stop the stone from rolling away, bent and picked it up, twisting it through her fingers as she examined the stone in the light. "Sounds like quite a party you're having up there." He watched her intently as her fingers traced the runes on the blue black stone._

 _"It is Mereth Nuin Giliath, The Feast of Starlight. All light is sacred to the elder, but the wood elves love best the light of the stars." She couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips. Tauriel loved the light of the stars, they recharged the hope that she still clung to that the woodland realm would one day be what it once had been again. In them, she found promise that not all was lost and rebirth was possible._

 _"I always thought it is a cold light, remote and far away." He replied._

 _"It is memory, precious and pure." She looked back at him and smiled. "Like your promise."_

 _Tauriel held his stone back out to him and his fingers closed around it brushing her palm with the tips of his fingers, causing her fingers to twitch slightly. She turned away quickly and looked up and far away imagining what the stars looked like in the sky with no moon to put them into shadow._

 _"I have walked there sometimes, beyond the forest and up into the night. I have seen the world fall away and the white light of forever fill the air."_

 _"I saw a fire moon once. It rose over the pass near Dunland. Huge! Red and gold it was, it filled the sky. We were an escort for some merchants from Ered Luin, they were trading in silverwork for furs. We took the Greenway south, keeping the mountain to our left and then it appeared. This huge fire moon lighting our path. I wish I could show you..."_

Tauriel woke slowly, her cheeks damp and the rune stone clutched tightly in her palm as his words faded in her ears. The company of her prince, good food and wine and the knowledge of the journey to come, had lulled her into the kind of deep sleep she did not normally allow herself.

In her dreams, Kili still lived on, her memory all too willing to conjure up his vestige and voice, replying their stolen moments over and over. _Ilúvatar_ preserve her, it was a form of torture in itself to relive a past she wished to dwell in.

A soft knock on her door moved her from her bed and to the door as she pulled a wrap around her shoulders. It was still dark although the deep blue of early morning was beginning to light the sky, so she had slept longer than she thought, but she couldn't imagine any of her new traveling companions coming knocking at her door. It was Aranel, stood on the other side of the door, arms crossed and a deep frown on her face.

"You were just going to slip away with the dawn and not tell anyone?" Aranel frowned.

"Aranel, I have been summoned by my king. I am not going to tarry unnecessarily." Tauriel frowned back as she took in the hardy traveling clothes her friend was wearing. "Early morning patrol?"

"I'm going with you." The other elleth crossed her arms over her chest and gave her a level look. Aranel was strong willed and stubborn, not unlike how she had been in her five hundredth years of life.. Tauriel looked evenly right back. There was nothing good for one such as her friend in the east.

"The road we travel is full of dangers as of yet unknown and King Thranduil's kingdom is not for those who have their own ideas or wish to express themselves outside the King's own narrow purview." Tauriel shook her head.

"Nevertheless, I will have the horses saddled with the hour. Lord Elrond has given his blessing and some correspondence for your king." Aranel shook her head and turned to go.

"You are not obligated to take the road that I must travel." Tauriel called after her.

The younger patrol officer stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"Just because I am not obligated, doesn't mean that I can't choose to help a friend." Aranel gave her a smile and then continued on her way.

o0o

Thirty minutes later Tauriel met her traveling companions, her prince and Lord Elrond around a breakfast table that had been cleared so a map of middle earth could be spread out upon it. Unfortunately there seemed to be less discussion going on and more arguing. Gandalf was stating his desire to go through the High Pass and along the old paths through Mirkwood to the halls of the king. Legolas and Lord Elrond were advising a detour to Lothlórien and then taking the underground roads through Mirkwood, past Dol Guldor to her King's palace so they could avoid traveling by the most obvious route while the dwarves seemed to feel they should travel north toward the Ettenmoors, crossing the mountains and skirting around the Mirkwood toward the grey mountains to arrive at Erebor from behind.

The arguing stopped the minute Tauriel put her traveling pack down on the floor next to the table and Legolas made way for her to see the map, without looking over anyone's shoulder.

"Do you have an opinion on the route that should be taken Tauriel?" Lord Elrond turned to her. His eyebrows folded over dark eyes in a way that could appear disapproving if you hadn't stood under his gaze before. The elven lord was deep in thought and slightly irritated by the arguing but his request for her opinion was genuine.

"I agree with Mithrandir. If it is dwarves that pursue the princess and her companion, then they will expect them to go north sticking to the old dwarven paths and because we are leaving from Imladris, it will also be expected that you would have counseled them to go south to Lothlórien and go with the patrols that run north from there. The most direct route is not only the fastest but the way least to be expected for that same reason." Tauriel laid her reasoning out. Legolas frowned but nodded and Gandalf looked satisfied.

"You have no authority to tell us the way we should travel!" Sada Firebeard snapped, her closed fist thumping down on the table top.

"It was you who sought me out and asked for my aid." Tauriel frowned at her, wondering at the strong dislike that Fili's betrothed held for her. It seemed to go much deeper than the dislike of a dwarf for an elf.

"That does not mean that we are going to do as you say in all things." The young warrior met her gaze and held it.

"I am going back to the halls of my king and I am under no obligation to help you but as the family of former friends, I am willing to do what I can but if I do, I head this journey and will have no argument since I am being expected to deliver you safely home." She replied resolutely, no longer speaking to the younger dwarf, but to the Princess Dis.

"I thought that the matter of Tauriel's importance to this journey had been settled." Gandalf sounded frustrated as though this was a conversation that had been had a time or two too many already.

"I will ask again Sada," Dis turned to her young companion. "Have you changed in your convictions?"

Sada just shook her head in reply.

"Then lead on Tauriel of the Woodland realm, we will content with your plan." Dis nodded, ignoring the disgruntled noise her future daughter in law made.

"Yes and well, now that the path our journey is to take his been determined perhaps we should begin the journey itself." Gandalf smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he stood straight and tall, his staff held loosely in his hand.

"I am sending Aranel with you. She is eager for adventure and she has missives for King Thranduil. If his kingdom is to her liking, she has my leave to stay. If not, I would ask that she is sent as safely as possible back to Imladris," Lord Elrond said to Tauriel as Gandalf moved to his side. "Take your leave from Imladris with peace and friendship, knowing that you are ever welcome here. _Na lû e-govaned vîn_."

His leave of her was spoken in Sindarin and she found herself bowing low, touched by his words.

"The friendship of the house of Elrond is most gratefully received. Your hospitality has been more than generous and I am more grateful for it than I know how to express." She replied.

"Sada, Dis and I will meet you in the courtyard." Gandalf said before leaving the room with the elven lord and the rest of their traveling companions so she was left with just Legolas.

Sada glared at her, lips pressed into a thin line and a silent threat in her eyes as she swept out of the room last.

"You are going to have your hands full with those dwarves." Legolas turned to her, crossing his arms across his chest and looking at the arch the others had passed through, rather than straight at Tauriel.

"Dwarves seem to be my lot in life, but with Mithrandir to help I'm sure to manage. Will you go straight to the Dunedain?" Tauriel looked in the direction he was before looking back at him again. He was her prince, but much more importantly her friend and she knew it wouldn't be long before she would miss him again.

"Yes, unless you ask otherwise from me." Legolas confirmed, the expression on his face when he looked at her tenderly with the same regard that made her love for the dwarven prince, even in death, more than she knew he could bear.

"Legolas." She reached out and touched his arm with her hand. He was warm under her fingers, alive and hale and she knew that if only she could accept what he wished to offer her, her life would be so very different. She shook her head sadly, if she was meant to love her prince than she would never have loved Kili in the first place. "I cannot give you that which you seek nor will I promise to be able in the future. You are my dearest friend and I will not abuse your feelings by pretending, even if it were to mean keeping you by my side for a time longer."

"Then for now we part ways _mellonamin_." He sighed, placing his hand over hers.

 _"Na lû e-govaned vîn_ Legolas." Tauriel bowed low to her friend and Prince.

" _Novaer_ Tauriel."

With one last long look at each other the two friends parted ways, one to the courtyard and her traveling companions and the other back into the halls of Imladris.

* * *

Glossary:

 _Mellonamin –_ _my friend_

 _Na lû e-govaned vîn -_ _until next we meet_

 _Novaer -_ _farewell_


	4. Chapter 3

Thank you everyone who is reading and a special thanks to Oakensheild's Star who is kindly betaing this story as well as my reviewers, MissCallaLilly and thewolf74. I hope that you all continue to enjoy this story. I've had very little response and am wondering who really is reading so please let me know even if it's just a "me"…

So please sit back, enjoy and leave a review!

Thanks, Taernith

* * *

C3

Thranduil had seen many kings come and go, not only from the kingdoms of men, but also from those of the dwarves. Most blended together, insignificant in their words and deeds. Their purpose little more than to carry on a bloodline and care for an already wealthy and established kingdom.

He had seen frivolous rulers who cared little for their people and lands, squandering the wealth and prosperity of their kingdoms for personal gratification. Every now and then, an exception to the rule appeared and most often in the most unusual places. Thorin Oakenshield and Bard the Dragon slayer were exceptions Thranduil hadn't seen coming.

The bowman had succeeded in his ventures where his forefathers had failed. He had slew the dragon, Dale was almost completely rebuilt and was once again prospering as one of the major trading posts of the east.

Thorin had made true on his promises, recompense had been given to the people of Laketown and the Lonely Mountain's wealth in gold and merchandise had helped the surrounding areas to flourish. It seemed as if the dragon sickness had passed from the king under the mountain and there were no signs of it in his heirs.

Now Thorin had sent out requests for ambassadors from Dale, Esgaroth and the Woodland Realm to provide council and a source of constant communication with his closest allies. There had been a time before, when ambassadors, craftsmen and merchants from other races had resided in the halls of Erebor, before Thrór had succumbed to mayhem and madness.

Times had changed in the Greenwood since then. Dwarves had lost the trust of elves and so too had elves lost the trust of dwarves. The Greenwood was now a dangerous causeway for any not prepared to treat with the elven king and even with the reparations made to Thranduil from the king under the mountain, relationships were tense.

Thranduil saw the importance of an ambassador with the walls of Erebor. Not only as a way to maintain peace and alliance between the two races, but also as a way to keep tabs on what was happening within the mountain.

He wrapped his long fingers around the goblet close to his right hand and sipped the rich red wine within. The problem was not whether or not to send an ambassador, but whom to send. It was a lot for any elf to be expected to live encased in stone and without trust in their host, it would be even harder.

In another time, Thranduil would have sent his own son, at least for a short while, but as it stood, Legolas not only held little trust for the dwarves of Erebor, but also contempt that was unbecoming of a prince.

No, Legolas was far better off journeying to the Dunedain and waiting on the maturity of a different king yet to come in his inheritance. Tauriel was the best choice but instead of coming backing to Thranduil when she left Dale without explanation, she had taken to wandering the west and communicating with no one.

His pride had not allowed him to call her back to him, no matter how he felt on the matter, though now Thranduil had a good reason. The problem was, he had expected communication from Tauriel by now or if not the old captain of his guard, at least his son if Legolas had delivered his summons.

"My king," Lord Círon approached his throne bowing low before stopping. "You wished to see me?"

"I need you to go to Erebor as acting ambassador, until such a time as your permanent replacement arrives." Thranduil addressed him.

Lord Círon had a long standing advisor, someone whose opinions had always been in line with what was best for the kingdom. It was his loyalty that had brought that particular noble to his mind if not his somewhat abrasive attitude. If the dwarves could work with Lord Círon then perhaps there was hope for their races continued cooperation.

"My king, if I may be so bold, have I done something to displease you and cause this banishment?" The tall elf's normally stoic face morphed into shock and then horror.

"You have not earned any displeasure. I call on you for this task, until the one I believe is best suited to arrive. You give good counsel and hold the values and needs of this realm above all else, so for now I send you to Erebor and expect you to continue to please me with your work there."

Thranduil sipped his drink.

"Now, I am sure that there is much you will need to prepare, so you may take your leave. The guard I will send with you shall escort you in the morning. If there is anything pressing that you need, speak with Captain Gwaedhon, he shall see to it you are properly equipped."

"As you wish my king."

Still looking bewildered, Lord Círon looked to the ground and backed slowly to the edge of the dais, before moving swiftly away. There was still little love for dwarves among his people, not that he could blame them, he didn't like them any better.

The line of Durin had taken much he found valuable, for years they had held gems that were an heirloom of his family line. They had brought death and destruction to his people and stole away the affections of his onetime ward and captain of the guard. Yes, Tauriel's arrival could not come soon enough.

o0o

Sada Firebeard was tired, damp and frustrated. She had left Erebor with the intention of finding a she-elf and had so far been attacked by dwarves, men and an assortment of foul looking orcs. She had only survived her journey so far by the good graces of her soon to be mother in law, an old grey wizard and an elven prince who had become an unwelcome addition to their party.

Just when she had given up on the she-elf she was looking for, she found her, only to find she was not what she should be but a mercenary who was traveling with them not to return to the Lonely Mountain, but because the king who had banished her called her back to his realm.

There was nothing particularly special about the she-elf mercenary either, at least not what she had come to expect after the words Kili had used to describe her. In comparison to the prince of Mirkwood and the lord and ladies of Rivendell, the most remarkable thing about her was her fire red hair, how cold her green eyes were and the way she seemed more on guard than was warranted for an elf who had lived in Rivendell.

Their days had taken a monotonous turn. Tauriel would rise early and ride ahead, Aranel would clean up their encampment and ride behind, the pair of elves always in communication with each other through a pair of falcons that could often be seen flying overhead.

At noon time they would regroup and one of the elves would switch positions with Gandalf and their journey home continued in the same vein until evening. Gandalf was good at keeping up a general stream of chatter as was Aranel, who quizzed them on what life was like in Erebor in comparison to Ered Luin where as Tauriel spoke little with her companions but watched them, especially Dis, with an intensity that made her silence strange and tense.

The High Pass was treacherous enough that they had spent the last two days trudging on foot along the narrow ledges that served as the path, leading their mounts and the pack animal behind them.

Three or four days, Gandalf had said, no more than five but the going had been slow as the fog and mist hadn't let up yet. The damp and cold was so bad that by the second evening Sada found herself peeling out of her chain mail to oil away the rust and grime.

They built no fire at night, at Tauriel's insistence and after the first night exposed on the mountain ledge their bedrolls had been damp ever since and she swore she would most likely never be dry again.

Sada Firebeard was tired. She was tired of the weather, she was tired of being hunted like an animal, she was tired of Gandalf and Aranel's constant optimism, Dis' brooding but mostly of all she was tired of the presence and silence of Tauriel.

How many days would go by before the watching turned into talking? How long before she would ask about the friends she had once had amongst the dwarves of Erebor? How long before Dis decided to tell the she-elf that Kili still lived?

"Do you know who hunts you or why?" Tauriel moved to take her pony from her.

"I am perfectly capable of caring for my own mount!" Sada snapped, marching past her and tugging her pony with her to the tie line.

"I did not mean to insinuate that you are incapable. I meant to help why we discussed who exactly it is that means to kill you."

The pointy-eared mercenary followed her and began unbuckling the breastplate and cinches as she tied her pony up.

"Why exactly do you care who wants me dead?" She pulled the saddle off toward her, resting it on its pommel a couple of feet away.

"I once had friends in Erebor and I would not allow them to know the loss of a loved one if I have it in my power to do so."

The elf paused in the action of rubbing the pony down and looked her straight in the eye. Sada couldn't help but pause, the expression on her face was filled with a level of raw emotion that she never expected and all she seemed capable of doing was standing and absorbing it.

"You still believe that you are not without friends within the lonely mountain?" It was Dis who finally spoke.

"If they count me as friend still, I would not know, much was lost in the days after the battle at the gates of Erebor but they have not lost my friendship, nor will they ever." Tauriel shook her head. "Tell me or don't, information may or may not be helpful but it could make a difference. Discuss it amongst yourselves, I will be on watch."

With those words said and a last pat given to the back of the pony, the elf disappeared into the darkness to take watch as she had done every night.

"I do not know what to make of her." Sada grumbled to Dis.

"Nothing good can come for him if she returns to Erebor. There is no forward path for an elf and a dwarf." Dis nodded.

"Still she loves him."

"Love has a nasty way of turning sour in the face of too many impediments." The elder dwarrowdam cautioned. "You and Fili got lucky, what your family lacks in old connections your father made up for as the wealthy and prestigious leader of a large battle clan. Tauriel is an elf and not her wealth, were she to have any, her prowess in battle or love can help them. The line of Durin will not be tainted thusly."

o0o

"Are all dwarves like these two?" Aranel's voice startled Tauriel.

Her watch had been over for a couple of hours but weariness hadn't been her friend so she had taken up position by her horse and let memory take her. At some point not only had she become comfortable leaning against her chestnut mare but the mare had begun leaning on her in turn as she dozed back off. Aranel's voice made the mare wake and shift against her.

"Easy Amrâlimê _."_ Tauriel soothed, running her hand down the warm neck.

The mare snorted her displeasure but settled again. She was too smart for her own good but then most horses from Rohan were, descended from the Meares as they were.

"Is it time to move on already?" Tauriel turned to her friend. The dawn had not yet begun to lighten the clouds that gave them continual cover even if it had fostered a feeling of bleakness over the last few days.

"They're restless but not yet awake." She shook her head.

"So, are they?"

"Are who?" Tauriel frowned at the younger elleth.

"Dwarves!" Aranel sounded exasperated.

She could hardly blame her friend for her frustration. She was preoccupied at best, vigilant for attack at the cost of a lack of attention to her companions. Dwarves, bloody maddening dwarves, they occupied most of her thoughts, awake or asleep and now she was being asked to speak about dwarves.

Tauriel couldn't however fault Aranel's curiosity, dwarves had been a curiosity to her too, in the beginning, before her life had gotten intertwined with theirs. She had been sheltered in her woods the way that Aranel had been sheltered in Imladris and she knew what it was like to discover that what she had been brought up to believe was not exactly the way things were.

"Yes," She took a deep breath. "And no, not at all."

Where did she start to explain what she had learned about the dwarves of Erebor before and after the battle? They were stubborn and coarse, unwilling to listen to reason, fierce and loyal to a fault, they were loud and violent and gentile.

They came in all shapes and sizes, they were proud of each other almost as much as their beards and their mountains. Before she knew it she started talking about the individual personalities she had met, the different things she had experienced from the conversations on the healing arts with Óin, the way that Bofur had made her laugh, the serious nature of the crown prince of Erebor and his love for his brother and the way the proud men of Lord Dain's army had thrown her out of Erebor without so much as a allowing her to pick up her own belongings.

"They meant a lot to you?"

"Some more than others."

Tauriel found herself smiling as an image of Kili momentarily popping into her head. Not thinking about him was almost as hard as thinking about him. She turned away from her friend before her expression could give her away.

"Come on, we shall saddle the horses. Let's be away from these mountains before the goblins decide we are far game."

Aranel gave her a nod and quietly and quickly set about grooming and tacking the animals. Every few moments one or the other would pause, survey what could be seen around them and slip quietly back into their task.

It was a comfortable silence they slipped into as they tightened the last girth and began the process of putting grain in nose bags and giving them out. It didn't take them long to get the animals ready for the day or for the sun to start creeping up the horizon and lightening the sky.

The dwarves woke quickly and the wizard reappeared from his night time wondering. He quickly set about slicing bread and cheese and handing it out as had become his habit in the mornings since they had left Imladris.

Tauriel took her meal and watched the others grab their things as she removed the nose bag off her mare, tightened the girth one last time before setting her hawk on the cantle and turning back to the others.

"I'll find a spot for an extended rest at the base of the mountain. If you have need of me, send for me."

She quickly took up her reins and headed down the path, ignoring the eyes on the back of her neck as she left. It was a relief to descend the mountain. It seemed as if the minute they left the side of the mountain the damp and chill disappeared with the fog.

It would take a week of riding to take them to the crossing at the old ford of the Anduin and another day or two to get to the edge of the Mirkwood. Another two days to get to the halls of king Thranduil and then she would be free of the hostility of the dwarves she was guarding. She would arrange a proper escort for them to Erebor and would consider her debts paid, if such a debt could ever be paid in full.

Tauriel had found a nice little grove near the base of the mountain within which was a small stream that had to be a contributory to the Anduin. They would take the remainder of the day to let the horses and ponies graze, hunt a little, wash and rest.

They would have little cover for the first couple of days and she wanted to push forward as much as those in her party could handle. The dwarves had gone to the stream and Aranel had left her to watch over the animals while she slipped silently into the woods to hunt.

"Ahead or behind?"

Mithrandir paused beside where she had chosen to stand watch over the place they had chosen to let the hobbled animals graze.

"Whichever suits your fancy, as always Mithrandir." She replied not taking her eyes off the area around their camp.

"As always that is not what I asked." He pulled his pipe out of one of the pouches tied to his belt. He quickly went about the business of preparing and lighting it, taking a couple of deep draws and letting the smoke drift around them.

"If you have a question then ask it plainly wizard. I have no time for word play." She couldn't help but bristle.

"What is more important, living in the past or looking towards a new future?" He asked, clicking the end of his pipe against his teeth.

Tauriel turned and glared at him, a scathing retort on the tip of her tongue.

"I have found that you must move ahead to find what you seek but if you never look behind, you might miss what you were looking for in the first place."

"What is it you think you know wizard?" She snapped.

"That things are never nearly as black and white as we think they are." He smoked his pipe for a few more moments a twinkle in his blue eyes as he deliberately looked anywhere but at her.

"It will just take time for them to trust you."

"I am not looking to make more friends of dwarves. Nothing but heartache lies upon that path." Tauriel shook her head.

"You speak as if you know of heartache." The wizard said.

"Perhaps." She replied.

"You speak as though you would choose to forget that you held silent vigil through the long days and nights under the mountain and upon the broken battlements of a lost city in the days after the battle." Gandalf looked at her, his blue eyes fathomless and full of unknown knowledge.

"I choose to remember that which came before the long already lost fight against death." The words came out of her mouth a breathy whisper.

An angry roar broke the peace surrounding them. The battle cry of a dwarven clan declared that Clan Firebeard was mighty and bloodthirsty as the sound of steel against steel rang out. Tauriel was already on the move, bow in hand and arrow notched as the wizard ran behind her.

Dwarves, an attachment of half a dozen, most likely a scouting party surrounded the two dwarven women at the banks of the stream. Dis held a wicked curved blade in one hand not even trying to hide her nakedness, her lips curled back showing her teeth in a snarl as Sada leapt forward and engaged her enemy in just her tunic, red hair dark with water and plastered to her back as she moved away from the Princess.

Two arrows dropped two of the strange dwarves, Sada finished off a third with her double sided axe as Dis' blade was flung across the clearing and embedded itself in the neck of a dwarf about to stab the younger female in the back.

The fifth attacker was mowed down by Tauriel's blades as the final dwarf turned to run only to be dropped by an arrow belonging to Aranel who had stepped out of the woods so silently as not to be noticed. The whole thing was over in moments and the air once again cleared.

"I shall ready the horses." Gandalf said turning with haste toward where the beasts had been hobbled.

"I'll help you."

Aranel stooped to pick up the selection of field dressed birds and small game she had dropped at her feet before hurrying after the wizard. Tauriel knelt next to one of the corpses, pulling her arrow from his neck as she looked at his weapons and armor.

Not a dwarf of Erebor, she was reasonably sure nor one from the Blue Mountains. Sada looked dispassionately down her nose at the same dwarf as Dis collected her blade and her clothing.

"Ironfeet." Sada said.

"From the Iron Hills but not sworn to Dain. They pay Dain for use of their lands but hold allegiance to whomever has the largest purse." Dis agreed.

"Ironfeet, Bloodfists and Blackblades." Sada ground out of clenched teeth.

"Mercenary clans everyone."

The Princess tugged her undergarments on and began to work her way into her dress as Tauriel gathered the last two arrows and Sada began to dress herself as well.

"So in truth you do not know who is hunting you?" Tauriel turned toward them as she cleaned the arrowheads and shafts of blood and matter.

"Could be anyone with a daughter who would be a suitable match for Fili or Dain trying to find a way to help his own line inherit Erebor." Dis agreed.

"An easy enough explanation if it weren't for the company of men that attacked me before I crossed the Anduin near Lothlórien," Sada agreed. "I don't know of many men who would get mixed up in dwarven politics."

"The orc pack that your prince was hunting when he came across us I believe to be a coincidence, too small and disheveled to have any real purpose but mayhem." Dis twisted her dark hair into a braid and the three women stood looking at each other.

"There is never coincidence in darkness," Tauriel frowned "come, we must away from this place!"

* * *

 _Boe i 'waen -_ I must go

 _Galu - Good Luck_

Amrâlimê - Khuzdul - My Love


	5. Chapter 4

Thank you everyone who is reading and who so kindly reviewed this last week. Special thanks to Oakensheild's Star who is kindly betaing this story as well as my reviewers, MissCallaLilly, theflower20, Griffind, chione. I hope that you all continue to enjoy this story and will continue to let me know what you think as we go along.

So please sit back, enjoy and leave a review!

Thanks, Taernith

* * *

C4

Tauriel pushed them hard the next few days. Aranel had separated from the main group and hadn't been seen for the first eight hours, but had arrived back when they had been resting. The game she had caught, cooked with news of another band of dwarves searching for them.

Mithrandir had been quiet, sitting cross-legged next to the picket line they had tied their animals to, chewing on the mouthpiece of his pipe. She gave her friend and her mount an hour's rest before mounting them and pushing them as far as she felt the animals could take them again.

In the plains that separated the mountains from the Anduin, they were afforded no natural cover and once again, the elleth implemented her no fire rule at night. Not that she gave more than two or three hours rest at a time. Tauriel would send Aranel off at different times, trying to keep an eye on their pursuers, but much to her concern, they seemed to have been able to do what she herself wished she could make her small group do, disappear.

"You can't continue to push them like this. Even the wizard is showing signs of tiredness." Aranel had gotten up from her bed roll when it was her turn to take watch. She stood next to Tauriel, her eyes scanning the rolling hills and waving grass they were in the middle off.

"I am open to suggestions."

Tauriel looked back at their camp and the dark bundles that the others made on the ground. One of the horses shifted lazily, cocking a back leg and besides normal night sounds, all she could hear were Mithrandir's light snores.

"Let them sleep until dawn. We will all walk on foot through the morning, to give the animals more of a rest and ride for part of the afternoon. Another full night's sleep by the banks of the Anduin and we should only be a day from the old forest through Mirkwood," The younger elf suggested. "We let the hawks fly, they will warn us of anything amiss."

"Or we lose what little lead we have." Tauriel frowned.

"Tauriel, there is no ideal plan moving forward. We have made good time, but we are all exhausted. You as well, despite what you would have us believe and the animals are doing little better. Even your Amrâlimê is beginning to show signs of fatigue." Aranel pushed. They observed each other for a moment, before the elder sighed and nodded. "Sleep. The dawn comes quickly."

"Watch well, our very lives may depend on it." Tauriel moved to where she had laid out her bedroll, willing her body to rest as she took in the night's sounds. The horses and ponies were quiet, breathing as deep and evenly as her slumbering companions.

The wind moved lazily through the tall grass, crickets played their simple song without disturbance and the creek was far enough away to be a background noise that wouldn't stop them hearing the approach of any attackers. Tauriel took a deep breath, closing her eyes to give her body the best chance of rest as willed her muscles to loosen.

o0o

 _She had fought and killed orc before but this one was different. His mutilated body was implanted with crudely constructed iron plating but rather than slow him down as it should, he was fast, faster than she had anticipated and a cold shiver of fear rippled down her spine when she realized she was most likely looking into the face of her own death. Everywhere her blades struck was met with metal, there seemed to be no way to meet with unprotected flesh and for every blow of his she managed to avoid she seemed to move right into the path of the next._

 _Kneeling before the damned creature after a particularly aggressive attack that had divested her of her weapons she realized that her whole body felt aflame with pain before his meaty hand wrapped around her throat and lifted her so she was face to face with him. His foul breath wafted over her as she choked in a breath and he licked damaged lips tight in a grotesque smirk._

 _She would not die this way, a plaything for a monster!_

 _Despite protest from aching joints and with black dots beginning to dance in front of her eyes she gathered her strength, wrapped her own hand around the wrist of the orc and used what leverage she had to strike at his knees. A well-aimed kick forced her release but weaponless she found herself overpowered and thrown through the air._

 _The impact of her body hitting solid stone rattled her bones. Her breath escaped her lungs in a thin cry and in that moment with the beast looming over her readjusting his bladed mace she knew she was about to die._

 _He moved purposefully toward her, taking his time as he watched her realize that the hour of her death was upon her. Tauriel stared him down, determined that if Ilúvatar wished for her to join him that day she would leave middle earth as boldly as she had tried to live in it._

 _Then he was there._

 _Flying through the air, dressed in dwarven mail suitable for the heir of a King, sword in a two handed grip above his head as he roared out his rage. Her moment of triumphant relief was quickly overshadowed by a fear unlike any she had felt before as even from the shoulders of the creature Kili's sword found no more purchase in his flesh than her own blades had and he too was sent soaring through the air._

 _He was on his feet again in a flash, dwarven steel clashing with orc but his renewed assault was for naught. His advance was used against him and before her eyes he was stripped of his blade and his strong body bent over the leg of the beast._

" _No!" Tauriel flung herself at him, arms wrapped around the top of the mace in a desperate attempt to disarm him that had her thrown to the ground once more._

 _Pain paralyzed her limbs. The world seemed to slow as she fought to rise, prayers not for her own salvation but for the salvation of the one she had been too afraid to admit out loud that she truly loved flying through her mind as she watched the bladed end of the mace sink toward his torso._

 _Quickly his hand moved to his boot pulling out a dagger, he stabbed below the last piece of iron plating on the orcs abdomen making the orc rear back in pain. The vambrace on his other arm deflecting the bladed mace's downward trajectory from his chest to his abdomen with the sickening crack of a broken bone._

 _Green eyes met brown._

 _His eyes closed as he gasped for breath and her whole world felt like it shattered. The orc looked down at his prey as she staggered to her feet once more and without thinking further leapt into his grotesque arms. One of her feet found purchase on his knee unbalancing him while the other rolled Kili's body away from them. He tried to throw her away again but this time she was ready, her arms wrapped around his thick neck as she flung her legs out to catch stone. She pushed off, the orc stumbled, teetering on the open ledge for only a moment before they were both soaring through the air after which she knew nothing more but darkness and pain…_

Strong hands gripped her arms and her body was already moving on instinct, before her mind had caught up with her waking. Tauriel blinked down at the dark haired dwarf, a blade pressed to the shocked dwarf's throat as she rapidly pulled air into her lungs. Green eyes locked with brown as she hastily pulled the dagger away and scrambled backwards

The entire encampment was completely still and quiet, despite the fact that the whole company was on their feet and staring wide eyed at where she stood. Tauriel couldn't seem to take her eyes off Dis, who was looking back at her for the first time with understanding and compassion, instead of frustration and contempt.

"You were with him at Ravenhill." Dis broke the silence.

Tauriel said nothing, just stared at Kili's mother without words to explain what she had been unable to stop.

"You cried out for some you called Kili." There was a thousand question behind Aranel's statement. "You were begging Ilúvatar-,"

"I know what I begged!" Tauriel snapped, cutting the other elleth off as she gritted her teeth.

If she had woken her companions, there was a good chance she had given away the position of their encampment.

"Quickly, gather your things! We must away. I may have given away our location." Tauriel looked around quickly. "Send up the hawks Aranel. Mitheandir, lead on to the Anduin and make haste, I'll make sure your tracks aren't followed."

"We don't know where they are and you only woke the princess. She alerted the rest of us because of your distress." The younger elleth protested and the two dwarves were still staring at Tauriel, like she had grown two new heads.

"Humor me and call me paranoid later when we are all safe. Tauriel hissed.

With purpose, she rolled her bedroll tightly together, as Aranel released the hawks and the others began to gather their own things. All except the Princess Dis.

"You were there, at Ravenhill with Kili."

She flinched as she placed her unnecessary gear in the small pile that would go on the pack horse as Dis addressed her again.

Tauriel didn't respond. She didn't know what she could say to the older dwarf. She had failed to save the only individual she had ever loved. That failure didn't only affected her life, but it had affected so many others and she had no excuse to give to why she had lived when it should have been him. Instead she saddled her mare, loaded up her weapons and turned to the wizard.

"Mithrandir, lead them straight to Mirkwood. Do not stay on the old forest road, cut north-east. On the easternmost side of the first hill you come to, is a small way station. If you find no help there, you will at least be safe and able to resupply. Wait two days for me, no longer. If I do not come, tell my king of my fate."

"This course of action is not necessary." He said sharply.

"I am tired of being chased by the unknown." Tauriel tightened the girth and checked the buckles on the breastplate one last time.

"Tauriel?" Aranel frowned.

"I shall act as rearguard and then I am going hunting, _Boe i 'waen_." She answered, her friend as she mounted and Amrâlimê shifted under her and she looked down at the princess. "I went to Ravenhill to save him. Instead he saved me. It is not a debt I hold lightly."

Without waiting for a reply, she turned her mare back the way they had come.

" _Galu_!" Aranel shouted from behind her.

o0o

Kili had been in Dale for a week and a half and thankfully there had been no summons for his return to Erebor. Instead he had spent his days with King Bard assisting with suggestions for repairs for another part of the city and his evenings nursing ale at a quiet brew house run by a couple enterprising dwarrow near the quarters he had been given to stay in. The food there was good, the drink even better and for the most part, the clientele left him alone. It was a good thing too, he wasn't the best of company anyway.

Tauriel occupied his thoughts more often than not. The expression of haughty assurance on her face, as she practically threw the dagger that had killed the spider advancing on him without looking. How fear had shown in her eyes as she witnessed his pain in the bowman's humble home. The way she had looked standing on the banks on the long lake, her fist closed tightly around the rune stone he had given her as she watched him disappear into the fog. The despair in her eyes as she watched helpless from where she lay as Blog ran him through, not aware that he was glad it was him and not her.

Kili had never told anyone about what happened at Ravenhill, with the help of another elf, Tauriel had somehow gotten him to the medic's tent on the field still alive, no one had ever cared beyond that.

Tauriel was an elf and that was enough to have gotten her thrown out of Erebor. Fili had told him often enough that she hadn't left his side until Dain forced her to leave, but what had happened after, was somewhat of a mystery still. How the signal fire had gone out, her flight from Dale and where the long roads led her, were still unanswered questions. Even after ten years. His uncle wished he would get over his obsession with elves and his brother was more concerned over the disappearance of his betrothed.

Sada had wanted to know everything about Tauriel. Every moment, every look and conversation, but they never spoke about the battle or that she had been forcibly removed from the mountain or that she had fled when she thought him dead.

Tauriel...

Some days it felt like his very soul missed her, like the ache transcended his physical body and extended to the ethereal. Some days Kili was glad that at the very least, he knew she was most likely alive. Others he envied the fact he was sure she didn't know he was alive. He had to believe that if she thought otherwise that she would have returned to him.

"With a scowl like that you'd chase the best of company away." Dwalin sat down across from Kili, a tankard of ale held firmly in one hand.

"Who said I wanted company?" The younger dwarrow replied, his frown only deepening.

"I don't care if you want it or not," The elder answered, after a deep drink from his pint. "Your uncle sent me. He's let you lick your wounds long enough and has a task for you."

"If the king has need of me, of course I will come." Kili sighed.

He wasn't ready to go back to Erebor. He wasn't ready to make nice with brother or go back to reading ancient legislation or trying to sort through years old records of trade to work out what deals had been fulfilled before the damned dragon took over the mountain and what, as a matter of honor, was still to be delivered upon. Ready or not, his uncle had need of him and he would go where he was needed, it was his duty.

"Aye and a fine job you'll do too with an attitude like that. You'll end up offending those pointy eared bastards rather than acting as a very good liaison." Dwalin snapped.

"Elves? In Erebor?" Kili sat up a little straighter, unsure what to make of the news.

"Turns out the king of the pointy eared bastards agreed with the king under the mountain that an ambassador living in our halls was a good idea." Dwalin drained his tankard in two big gulps and belched loudly, waving his hand at a nearby barmaid who nodded to him and headed back for the row of taps behind the counter. "The interim ambassador arrived this morning. King Bard will be sending his with us in the morning and you are to be their official liaison."

"Why only interim?" Kili accepted another tankard of ale from the barmaid when she brought Dwalin's.

"That's the big news now isn't it and the king isn't sure he's going to agree yet." The elder dwarrow looked far too pleased with himself and the knowledge he held.

"I'm not in the mood for games Dwalin." Kili growled.

"You never are anymore lad." He shrugged in the way he often did when he cared less. "Seems high and mighty king of the pointy ears has chosen an ambassador not currently at his court and is unsure of when she will arrive back. Sent his own son to hunt her down on his way west a couple of months ago."

"Tauriel." He whispered her name as though it was a prayer. A prayer that what Dwalin said was true, a prayer that she would be found well and delivered to the mountain, a prayer that she had left because she believed him dead rather than out of desire to escape him.

"Aye lad, the pointy eared lass you pine for. No one seems to know where she actually is or when we might expect her to arrive but her king seems to think she is the best choice for the job." Dwalin was halfway through his second pint. "Lord Círon, the temporary ambassador is less than enthusiastic about his post but your uncle isn't sure he wants an exiled guard captain for an ambassador."

"Then I'll just have to convince him otherwise." Kili said hoping that he hadn't just set himself an impossible task.

o0o

The fear on his retainer's face pleased him. His men had failed their master too many times now and someone had to be made example of. How one dwarrowdam had become impossible to do away with was beyond his understanding.

"She travels with a wizard and two elves my Lord." He tried to explain to his master from where he knelt in the middle of the room with his head bowed over the written message he had brought to his master. "They are following the old roads, not taking the dwarven ways. Two scouting parties have been killed and the main group scattered. They won't be able to catch up with the dwarrowdams before they reach Mirkwood and without the elf king's permission they dare not enter the forest as it is now."

"So you bring me no good news?" He snapped, throwing the goblet of wine he had been sipping across the room "You have failed me again!" He roared, stalking toward his retainer "Give me one good reason not to have you run through now?" He grabbed him by the back of his shirt and partially drug him to his feet and into the point of his dagger not letting it break skin yet.

"I have people between Mirkwood and the Lonely Mountain and if they are unsuccessful than I have an agent within the Mountain itself just waiting to be activated." He replied quickly without so much as a tremor in his voice even if his eyes betrayed his fear.

"Move to intercept and activate your agent. I want the Firebeard dead and as a matter of honor that damned elf as well!"

* * *

 _Boe i 'waen -_ I must go

 _Galu -_ Good Luck


	6. Chapter 5

C5

Two days and a river crossing later and Tauriel was tired, sore and wet as well as about three hours hard ride away from the others. Mithrandir had hidden their tracks well, their location would have been difficult to discover even for her if it weren't for the hawk that Arenal let fly but Amrâlimê was tiring, her Meares blood not enough to keep the fatigue of days of hard riding from affecting her. Still the mare followed willingly behind her as the wood elf ran in front of her setting a steady pace in spite of the ache in her ribs.

The scouts that had been behind them were dead along with a quarter of the small force she had scattered while they slept. It would take them longer than it would take her to get to the heart of Mirkwood to reform and catch up with her and they would be safe the moment that they crossed into the forest. Not since she was an elfling child could she remember feeling such bone weary longing for home. Then her longing had been for her recently murdered parents, now it was for her King's forgiveness and a semblance of the life she had once led.

"When we reached the halls of my King there will be a warm clean stall and rich fodder waiting for you." She promised her mare as she cut away from the path the others had taken for a route she knew would take her on a much faster course to the edge of the forest. "He may not be pleased with me but he will not take that out on you." The mare nickered as if in understanding and Tauriel smiled. She would find a quiet spot within the edge of the forest and wait for the others to come to her. She could use the time to assess her injuries and rest. It would take the others the rest of the day to reach the spot she was sure that Mithrandir would aim for, in the meantime she threw her hawk back into the air. As evening drew in Aranel would release the other and between them the hawks would lead them back to each other.

Legolas had not been clear about the reason for her King's sudden summons, all she knew was that he had a task for her. Nothing had been said about rescinding her exile order, nothing had been said about what it was that her King wanted from her or where it would take her but good or bad she had answered his call and would soon be within the dark, familiar trees of Mirkwood once more and soon after that she would be rid of the dwarves as well. No more familiar brown eyes looking at her out of a stranger's face, no more angry glances from a soon to be Princess who didn't know what had come before and no more wizards who thought they knew more of the world than they did.

She had seen the world outside of the wood and had been awed by some and left wanting elsewhere. She had met many, some mortal and therefore it was unlikely that she would meet them again within their lifetimes and others as enduring as the very earth beneath her boot clad feet. Her journey home could very well be the end of her journeys through middle earth until such a time as her King had no use for her again or the beginning of new travels if he found her in anyway inadequate.

Already her life had been anything but what she had expected, part of her was afraid of what else might be thrust in her path before Ilúvatar's designated time came. What elleth had ever fallen in love with a dwarf? Mortal man, yes but their most time enemy? What purpose did such a love have if it was felled before it had a chance to truly begin? Logically she knew that there was no future down the path she had begun to walk but deep down she knew she would give her own immortality for another day in Kili's presence. She had been a fool to deny him then and now she would pay for her mistake all her days in Arda and beyond for she was sure that the halls of waiting were as much closed to elves as the undying lands were to dwarves.

Amrâlimê had drawn alongside her as she thought about the impossible, her stride steady as it ate up the ground. It would seem the mare was as eager as she was to reach the trees and make camp. In one fluid movement she reached for the pommel and used the momentum she had built up to swing onto the mares back only guiding her in the right direction as she set the pace. No matter what the outcome of the next few days she was at the very least done running from events over which she had no power.

An hour or so after noon she came to the edge of the Mirkwood and stopped. The trees towered over the entrance to the old elven roads, the light breeze making the branches creak and groan under their own weight.

It was here under trees not unlike those that she had first laid eyes on Kili. She had shown off her skill then, taking as much delight in hindsight in the surprise on his face as she had in the way her blades and arrows had parted evil flesh from bones like a warm knife through butter. She had taken her job seriously and never had she felt so alive as when she was dispatching what evil came into her preview. There was nothing she had ever been able to about the darkness that had caused the Greenwood to sicken but she had taken pride in halting its progress. Those were simpler times when she had been able to ignore her own desires and restless nature and follow orders more blindly.

For better or worse she had been changed. Her view of the world and the races that walked within it were less critical and more accepting while her devotion to the destruction of darkness had only grown. She unsaddled her horse, fisting her hand in her copper colored mane for a moment as she looked at the creature.

"Don't wander far!" She commanded letting her go so she could roll and find good feed. The horse was a loyal creature and would return before long or if called. It was only after the gift had been given that she realized what a prize the shield maiden of Rohan had given her for the safe return of her injured father.

She took a deep breath as she turned for the trees. They sang softly of the state of the wood, the creatures that dwelt or lurked within, retold the tales that the birds had brought with them from other woods and places. There was more contentment, more talk of growing tall and strong and less of shadow and disease. The Mirkwood was growing strong again, looking after itself even as her fellow wood elves worked to drive out the creatures of darkness that had found stronghold as her King's eye had turned inward. There was hope here once more.

Within the shelter of a quiet copse Tauriel set about making camp. She found dead wood for a fire and stones to line the perimeter of the shallow pit she had dug to house it. Cleared area for bedrolls and set up a highline at the edge to tie the horses and ponies to. She filled her water skin with water from a crystal clear brook that ran a short walk from her chosen camping ground and groomed her mare when she wandered into the camp she had made. It wasn't long after she had put away her grooming tools and sat down by her fire to sharpen her weapons that she heard the sounds of approaching horses and the screech of a falcon from behind her.

" _Mae g'ovannen."_ She called out as she heard the distinctive sounds of her traveling companions as they dismounted. " _Tolo anin naur."_

" _Sevig thû úan."_ Aranel said as she turned her head to look at them.

" _Ego, mibo orch."_ Tauriel smiled as she watched her friend grin.

"If that is how you speak to a friend, I would hate to hear how you speak to an enemy." The grey wizard tutted at them.

"You all look travel worn but unscathed, I trust you ran across no trouble?" She laid her weapons aside as she stood and took the pack horse from the frowning wizard.

"We found no trouble but it looks as though trouble found you." The Princess of Erebor was looking at her critically.

"A couple small nicks but mostly just bumps and bruises that will be gone before long. I would not look near as bad as I do now had I not left all of my changes of clothes with the pack horse." She shrugged away the dwarf's observations.

"You found them then?" Sada asked.

"Killed some and scattered the rest. It was a mixed party I came across, men and dwarves both in the company." Tauriel nodded. "Mercenaries from the way they were organized and outfitted."

"You're more hurt than you want to say." Arenal said after she had tossed the older elleth the bag that held her spare clothes and Tauriel let a small gasp escape her lips as it made impact with her side.

"Nothing that won't heal easily." She held onto the pack. Mithrandir raised both eyebrows at her but said nothing as their eyes met. "There's a small tributary nearby. The water is fresh and safe and there is a small pool that would do for washing." She said before turning to the dwarves. "I assume that relations between our people are better and a doubt that there are any patrols this close to the edge of the wood at this time but I would still recommend you either come with me now or go with Aranel later so there is no room for confusion."

"You go. I'll go later." Dis motioned to Sada with her head and the younger dwarf picked up her own pack and followed along after Tauriel.

For the most part Tauriel ignored her companion as she stripped off her clothes, throwing her ruined tunic and undershirt to one side and put her dirty but salvageable grey wool trousers next to her pack before undoing her braids and slipping into the pool. The water was cold enough to be slightly uncomfortable even for one such as herself who was little affected by cooler temperatures and instantly goosebumps erupted across her skin. She knelt in the pool, dipping her head down and allowing her hair to become fully submerged, her fingers running through the tangles as the flow of water from the stream tugged gently at it.

"So you do have a death wish." Sada spoke a few minutes later from the place in the pool that she had vacated. She had replaced her undergarments and was trying to get her hair as dry as she could with a linen cloth she had kept in her pack.

"Since you ran into the wilds alone knowing that you could be a target because of your relationship to Prince Fili, I could say the same to you." She answered not unkindly and she pulled the patrol uniform of the King's Guard from her pack and looked over at the crown prince of Erebor's betrothed. For whatever reason Sada was not what she had expected Fili to pick for a bride, too headstrong and not in the least bit meek or ladylike.

"You didn't get those bruises, cuts or scars from being particularly careful with yourself." Sada was staring pointedly at the large patch of purple that had formed along her side as well as the light scratch that ran the breadth of her abdomen. "Looks like an axe took a good swipe at you."

"Small and single sided. Missed the blade mostly but was caught handily by the blunt side. Ruined a perfectly good tunic." Again she shrugged it off.

"They spoke of you in Rivendell, called you reckless. Your friend says it's because you lost a great love during the battle of the five armies and wish to join him in the undying lands." The dwarf pressed. Tauriel paused and drew a deep breath.

"That may have been true once but now I wait on Ilúvatar's time. We elves believe that we are given but one great love in our long lifetimes. It was a love that even though it cost me dearly I cannot find it in me to regret that it happened. In the aftermath of the great battle I lost the other part to my soul along with my rank, my home and my purpose. It has taken me these last years to find that purpose again." She closed her eyes against the throbbing in her chest, Kili's face held for a moment in her mind's eye before she released it back into memory and looked over at the young dwarf. "In memory of him I have tried to make sure that other's loved ones make it safely back to them and never share in my fate."

"Your fate?"

"To walk this earth alone."

Sada was troubled. She kept a watchful eye on Tauriel as she had her friend remove some stitches from an old wound on her arm and then set about making supper while the other dwarrowdam followed the younger elf maid to bathe. She looked different somehow, here, beneath these trees in the fresh clothes she had put on. Dark leather leggings under a deep green tunic with a leather brigandine and knee high leather boots. She had replaced her bracers with vambraces made of leather with silver inlay that matched the scroll work on her brigandine. Her fire red hair she had left mostly loose except for a few braids that seemed to be designed to keep the rest from her face. She looked every bit one of the King Thranduil's Captains once more.

She was more self-assured here, confident and at ease like she was unafraid of attack now she was in the woods. She had shared a few quiet words with the wizard and even smiled, she saw to her horse and her pack before starting a simple stew for supper that was making her mouth water after days of cold meats, raw greens and lembas bread. She had a summons from her King and for the first time in ten years was traveling home. Once she got there Sada hadn't been sure that even the news of Kili alive and well in Erebor would be enough to remove her from those halls again but then she watched the pain that danced quickly across the elf maid's face when she spoke of her long thought dead love. The elf felt as strongly for her Kili as she felt for Fili.

"You're scowling again." Dis broke her out of her thoughts.

"I think that the wizard is right. Withholding our knowledge from her is wrong." Sada responded.

" _Marnat Sada!"_ Dis snappedat her in Khuzdul, making her turn to look at her swiftly. "Come!"

The older dwarrowdam stood and moved with purpose to the edge of the clearing where their camp had been set up and out of earshot of their elven companions. Sada followed, a frown fixed firmly to her face again.

"This level of secrecy is unnecessary!" She looked at the elves who were being obvious about not looking in their direction.

"Love doesn't conquer all. She is still a part of one of two races that have not seen peace in more years than they have. Thorin will not stand for such in his mountain and we would do best not to encourage either farther." Dis quickly explained in a barely audible hiss. "I too have watched her and while I do not understand the attraction he holds for her I understand the respect. I wish to do no more harm than has already been done."

"And if she gets herself killed protecting us not knowing that he still lives, how are you going to explain that to him?" She challenged.

"That she saved his brother's betrothed and should be celebrated for it." Dis snapped back. "Fili deserves to be happy."

"And Kili?" Sada shout was a snarl as she turning away from the other dwarrowdam, angry suddenly and startlingly the rest of camp enough for them to turn to look at them. The expression on Tauriel's face was guarded but she could take consolation in the fact that the only thing that any of the company, had heard was the name of Dis' son.

"Wasn't it Kili you spoke of in your dream?" Aranel looked between all of them as Gandalf made a disgruntled noise as he settled by the fire.

"Prince Kili is Princess Dis' youngest son." The wizard explained and Aranel looked strangely at the elder elf.

" _Nogoth_?" Aranel breathed.

" _Dina, Aranel!"_ Tauriel gave her a one word command that closed the younger elf's mouth even as she looked over at Sada and Dis, pitching her voice so she knew she'd be heard by everyone. "I knew the Princes once. I imprisoned them in the halls of my King when they quested to take back their birthright. I fought alongside them in Laketown and on Ravenhill hill. I counted them both friend and because of that friendship I agreed to see their kin on a safe path home."

"And at least some of their kin are happy to call you friend too." Sada tossed a dirty look over her shoulder at her soon to be mother in law before stalking into the dark of the wood around them.

Elves and men, living in the sacred halls of the King Under the Mountain. Elves, men and halflings calling the King friend, dining at his personal table and sitting on the King's advisory council. It was a stain on the long proud history of the Khazad, an embarrassment to the great line of Durin that such a King now sit on the throne of Erebor and degrade his people and his bloodline so.

It was bad enough for the crown Prince to betroth himself to a dwarrowdam who, although she carried the name of Firebeard, was a lowly warrior with a wealthy father but for the younger to refuse any alliance and spend his days pandering to the strained relations between the Mountain's closest neighbors was an insult. Their neighbors should be attending them not expecting to be attended to. The insult could no longer be born and his master had sent him to make sure that these poor relations came to an end.

Do away with the Firebeard, make it seem an elven action that was plotted with the help of men and rid the halls of the stain upon them.

His orders were simple, undermine and distribute mistrust until the Firebeard returned to the halls of the King Under the Mountain. He was not alone in his mission, his master had mentioned others who would help to make dissent rise but his job was perhaps the most important. He must kill the dwarrowdam himself. He would see no glory on this earth for his actions but his family would gain honor and position as he waited for them. His people would fortify and grow strong again once outside influence was washed away and true alliances made between the very best of the founding families.

He turned his head to look to the west where his enemy would come from. He would make his land great again and count the cost worth it. For now all he must do was wait for the Firebeard's arrival or for other instructions. He faced forward once more, readied his spear and his shield for another early morning watch on the walls above the gates of Erebor.

Glossary

 _Mae g'ovannen - Well met!_

 _Tolo anin naur - Come near the fire_

 _Sevig thû úan - You smell like a monster_

 _Ego, mibo orch - Go kiss an orc_

 _Dina - Be silent_

 _Nogoth - Dwarf_

 _Marnat - Khuzdul - Quiet_


	7. Chapter 6

C6

"Will you not unburden yourself _mellonamin_?" It was Aranel who sought her out in the soft light of morning, her voice was low and her words spoken in Sandrian. Tauriel cast a watchful eye over the company.

The dwarves were still sleeping, wrapped in their bedrolls on opposite sides of the fire and still not speaking after whatever they had spoken of in their own language the night before and Mithrandir was sitting smoking his pipe as he had done through all the hours of the night, his eyes fixed firmly on the fire in front of him with no sign of him paying much attention to what was not in his own mind.

The wizard was yet to truly speak to her since she had rode away from the group and after their pursuers, from the way he acted she was almost sure that he was less than pleased with her. Not that she blamed him, reckless and foolhardy, she'd heard others call her when her back was turned, quick to temper and action. Perhaps they were right but she had learned the true finality of life and had found it best sometimes to take action rather than sit back and think about it. In many ways it could be said that she had stopped behaving as elves should, she thought less and acted quicker but she could not, even with what injuries had befallen her, bring herself to regret the changes to her character or mode of operandi.

Much had changed in the last decade of her life. She had witnessed and experienced much and seen much of the world that had been so much outside her preview in the Woodland realm. Kili had only been the start of her own great adventures but she would have given up every single one to have known that he lived if it were by her side or not.

"What would you have me say that you haven't already guessed?" Tauriel asked, turning away and looking into the lightening wood.

"Anything, the truth or what it is that has turned your mood dark and introspective." Aranel replied. Like it or not Tauriel knew that her friend was concerned for her.

"I went against all convention. I loved a dwarf, fought next to him and saved his life where I could, although not when it counted most. He is dead and buried in solid stone these last ten years. I shall never see him again, it is no longer of consequence." She looked at her, shrugging softly. "There are times as of late that it feels as though his passing happened only yesterday, where my soul feels weary and torn apart and where I wish to do nothing more than fade into the twilight one final time."

"And yet you have kept the cause of your own pain hidden these years wherever you went, even from those who could help you?" There was compassion that could have been mistaken for pity in her voice had Tauriel not known her as well as she did.

"The Lady of Lórien knew, Lord Elrond also but there was no purpose in letting others know more than I lost _meleth e-gûr nîn."_ She breathed. "The help the Great Lady could have offered me was not worth the cost and many others lost just as much or more than I did in the aftermath of the wakening of the dragon."

"But you caught the notice of two of the High Elves of Arda?"

"I got myself banished from the Mirkwood when I choose Kili over my own King not once but twice. I had nowhere else to go and as you well know Lothlórien is open to all and the Lady's compassion seems to know no boundary of position or cast." She watched Aranel raise both her eyebrows as if to say that she did not entirely believe her. "My parents were killed on the edge of Mirkwood leaving me alone and far too young to look after myself properly. Prince Legolas found me and took me home to his father who, perhaps in a moment of madness, choose to keep me and raise me as his ward."

"You were raised as the daughter of the King of the Greenwood?" Now Aranel really was looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"Ward, not daughter. I was raised in his household, under his rule and influence and yet on the outside. A lowly Silvan elf risen high by friendship within the King's own kin." She corrected her softly. She had always looked more fondly upon her King than he had ever looked upon her.

She looked back on her informative years fondly but knowing, as she had always known, that she wasn't any more than what she had been born. She had roamed the wood with Legolas as guide, protector and friend. She had learned to fight, track, hunt and commune with the inhabitants of the forest with her Prince by her side and in these trips he became her dearest companion and the closest thing she had to a brother. She still couldn't pinpoint the moment that had changed for him and it had turned into more but she knew the moment well that it had all changed for her and she knew that she would never be able to return his most ardent feelings.

"What was it like?" Aranel asked.

"Growing up ward off a King?" Tauriel shrugged. "All about education, diplomacy and duty. The kingdom first above all else, even family, friends and love. King Thranduil raised me as best as he was able and where he was unable to give more others in his household made sure that my life included warmth too."

"And being in love?" Aranel's smile clearly conveyed that Tauriel had not answered her real question.

"I knew him for such a short time. It was heavy, terrifying and painful. While I knew him, he was shot with a morgul shaft, was almost killed by orcs and a dragon and then fought in one of the largest battles of my lifetime. I was either losing him or I had lost him, there was never time for much more." She said sadly. "But it is more than many can hope for and I hold my memory of what time there was close."

"It sounds like an adventure." Aranel smiled encouragingly.

"He was." She nodded taking a deep breath. She looked over as one of the dwarves turned in her sleep, drawing her blankets closer as she did so and Gandalf sighed around his pipe, his eyes flickering toward them. He was listening to them even if he was trying to be unobtrusive about it. "We will make a late start today. They deserve rest."

"Did he look like her?" Aranel followed Tauriel's attention to the sleeping dwarves but didn't seem to notice the wizard as he was staring back into the fire's flames.

"He got his eyes from her and sometimes she'll speak and I could almost swear all I had to do was turn around and he would be there. He was taller than her, a couple inches taller than Fili also, his coloring he got from her too for it is the opposite of his brother's, he was dark haired and strongly featured, strong of mind and body and so very sure of himself." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the earth around her. The scent of the forest had changed so little from the days of her early childhood and it still felt comforting as though in promise that her home hadn't changed the same way that she had. "He never seemed to have the fears that I did. He loved me and that was all that mattered even when it cost him his life." A light breeze lifted the hair from her cheek, the horses shifted at the tie line and for a moment she could almost feel him there, his presence like a ghost whispering reassurances through the trees conjured by her memories. Then she opened her eyes and the feeling was gone.

"You saw him die?"

"No, I saw the killing blow and the efforts made to save him in the days that followed but relations between dwarves and elves were worse than they are now and I was removed from Erebor. It was days later I got news of his passing while I held my own vigil in the city of Dale and from there you know the rest." Tauriel shuddered.

"I cannot confess to understanding it all but for your loss I am truly sorry." The younger laid a hand on the elder's shoulder before letting it fall away and heading to the other side of camp leaving her to her thoughts.

In truth Tauriel had never understood it either. Before Kili she had been so focused on her work that she had never paused long enough to seriously consider the opposite sex. Perhaps it was because he entered her life as a part of that work that he first made her see him but there was so much more to him than that. He had flirted and joked with her even as she had incarcerated him, he had treated her with care and consideration when the others had slung insults in her direction. He had been strong, brave and bold in his dealings with her, even when fighting for his life.

" _Amrâlimê_." He had called her in front of his kin and even though she had not known the word she had understood it's meaning but she had turned away in fear and out of duty. Ilúvatar, what she would give to change that moment, to go back and go with him, face what was to come by his side rather than in desperate search of him. To call him, _meleth e-gûr nîn,_ without fear and have the hope for more than just a moment frozen in time.

That was not, however, her fate. The morning would rise once more and with its rising she would get the opportunity to go back to the home of her youth. She would once more be able to serve her King and her people. She would do her best to find purpose in the forest and hopefully encourage her people to continue to work alongside their dwarven neighbors with less fear and contempt. Perhaps that was Ilúvatar's plan when he allowed her heart to become entangled with Kili's.

"I am going to find lunch!" Dwalin stood, carelessly tossing a set of papers into the table next to the large wing chair he had been occupying as he stood and stretched. The older dwarrow had hardly left Kili's side since they returned to Erebor except to sleep and eat, not that the young Prince had complained. The pair of deerhounds that had been given to Kili as a gift by the King of Dale lifted their heads from where they lay lazing next to the banked fireplace in the study that he had taken over as his own as Dwalin moved. The Prince grunted his acknowledgement of the words but didn't look up from the paper work he was pouring over from behind his own desk. The older warrior didn't bother to wait for further leave before he crossed the room and left.

One of the dogs whined with the older dwarrow's departure making Kili look up and over at the canines. The dogs made good enough companions but he often times felt they were wasted cooped up in his study the way he seemed to be these days.

While King Bard's ambassador couldn't be easier to deal with, the ambassador from Mirkwood caused his head to spin with his complaints, demands and contempt. King Thranduil had most likely been deliberate in testing his patience when he had appointed Lord Círon as his interim ambassador. The uptight bastard was going to set back elven and dwarven relations by centuries before he was through if he wasn't careful.

He hated to admit it but King Thranduil was right that there was no one but Tauriel who would likely treat fairly with his people until the path had been shown to them by one of their own. Even the elven retinue that had been sent with the ambassador treated the dwarves they were forced to coexist with, with a barely veiled suspicion and oftentimes out right condescension. He had hoped that by the time Tauriel arrived he would have a well-functioning relationship with the elven faction and that Thorin would look on them more favorably rather than with frustration as they all did now. He had wanted to make the transition easy on his beloved but was instead wishing she was there already just to help him put to rights the mess that he seemed to be flailing in after only a few days.

Kili groaned, letting his forehead fall on top of the desk in front of him as he looked over yet another housing complaint from Lord Círon. So far the furniture had been unsuitable, the rooms had not enough access to the outdoors (despite three separate balconies), the decoration out of taste, the bedrooms too drafty, the staff rooms too far from the main receiving room and now the study didn't have enough bookshelves. He couldn't seem to keep up with the elf's demands nor did their daily meetings seem to go well. The ambassador refused to speak to him of anything of import, he would only speak to King Thorin and so far any council that he had been asked for was given as though the elf Lord were talking to an imbecilic child. His uncle was quickly losing patience with him and so was he.

"Going that well brother?" Fili's voice made his head snap up from the desk to glare in the direction the crown Prince was standing.

"What do you want?" Kili asked coldly. The brothers hadn't spoken since Kili had left for Dale and it wasn't for lack of trying on Fili's part. The younger of the brothers had been deliberately avoiding being in the same room alone with the elder and nothing short of a direct order from his uncle was going to make him stop.

"To mend things Kili." The expression on the crown Prince's face was pained. They had grown up so closely together. All of his life Fili had cared for his younger brother, practically raising him after their father's death when their uncle had been more concerned with putting food on the table and their Ma had been out of her mind with grief and barely able to function. Being out of sorts with one another was not their norm and left them both feeling unbalanced even if the younger was unwilling yet to acknowledge that fact.

"I'm not in the mood." Kili snapped, scooping up another set of paperwork, this time an old trade agreement from an old dwarven family agreed upon before Smaug laid claim to the mountain. He gritted his teeth as he tried to read it all the while too aware of his brother's eyes on him.

"I didn't mean to blame you Kili." Fili closed the study door behind him and one of the dogs stood to investigate the newcomer.

"You meant the words you said, do not try to placate me now when you simply wish you hadn't said them." He put down the papers he was looking at and glared at his brother. He watched his brother scratch the head of the inquisitive dog as he rubbed the back of his own neck.

Fili looked tired, there were circles under his eyes, his braids were not in their usual meticulous order and he seemed more drawn. He had been separated from Sada too long, Thorin was leaning on him heavily, both as heir and advisor and with their Ma gone too there was no one there to offer the familial support that he was used to. Although trained in languages, diplomacy and statecraft along with strategy and war craft from an early age by their uncle, as was fitting for the next generation of the line of Durin, the retaking of Erebor had seemed like a long away pipe dream to both brothers until suddenly it had been achieved and their lives forever changed. For the first time in ten years Kili forced himself not to feel concern for his brother, he was strong, he could look after himself even though it added stress but he couldn't take his stress or anger out on him anymore.

"And how would you feel were you in my boots?" The blonde sighed.

"I am not in your place, my circumstances are my own, however, I do not take my grief out on you as you have taken yours out on the whole mountain these last months." The brunette replied.

"You may not take it out on us but we have to watch you live in it." Fili sounded frustrated and tired like all the wind had been knocked from his sails. "There are times when I long for the days of guarding merchant caravans, working with my own two hands at a forge and living the life of farmers in Ered Luin. Times where I wonder if gaining Erebor was worth the cost." The sigh was deep, the words spoken in trust of the company he was in despite their dispute.

"I would not wish it so." Kili replied after long moments of watching his brother stare into the fire coals.

"No, I'm sure you would not." There was an edge of irritation to the words. Both brothers knew that what the younger meant by his words was that he would never wish to live again without knowledge of his elf maid's existence.

"What would you have me do brother?" Kili stood, his words spoken with venom from behind gritted teeth, as he slammed his hands down onto the desk in front of him. The crack his fists made echoed around the room and made Fili's head snap round so that blue eyes engaged with brown. "Wish her forgotten? Or worse actually forget her and what it is like for my heart to beat in time with another's? Would you wish me and another into a loveless alliance to suit a kingdom? Do you wish me to be less than who I truly am?"

"And who you are depends on loving an elf?" His brother sounded incredulous. "You barely knew her for more than a two weeks and a handful of days Kili!"

"It means less to you because I knew her and spoke with her only for the time we had near one another? Unless you know a lass all of her life as you've known Sada for the eighty-two years she's drawn breathe, it doesn't count?" He snarled. "Leave Fili, before you say more you will come to wish you hadn't. I'm too busy for this."

"That isn't what I meant." Fili paled slightly, lowering himself into the chair that Dwalin had vacated rather than leave as requested. "Why can you not speak objectively with me on this topic?"

"I am as objective as you are when speaking of Sada. A dwarrow can only be so much so when discussing his _amrâlimê."_ Kili nearly growled at his dog as the animal laid a head in his brother's lap and Fili turned doleful eyes on him once more.

" _Amrâlimê_." The crown Prince said the word as though testing the weight on his tongue. To declare someone _amrâlimê_ was to declare them the missing part of your soul returned to you. It was love but more than that, precious and irreplaceable in a way that none would seek even to try.

"I live without her because I have a duty here or I would have left these halls myself years ago when I had healed to find her myself. What Dain did was ill done and in the deepest part of me I know that she believes me dead or she would have come back to the mountain, Thorin and Dain be damned!" Kili softened slightly. "It is in my best interest for your betrothed to have stayed so you could be wed and produce an heir and I would have been released of my duty so I could go after Tauriel myself. I would never wish on you the life I have led without her these last years."

"But you would leave me here?" He sounded completely mystified.

"It wouldn't be forever and you'd have Sada, Ma, Uncle and a family but it's a moot point now Fili." He looked over at his elder brother. Fili had always been the strong one, the rock, the place that he always knew he could go when it felt his own foundations had been shaken. How long had his brother been hiding his own cracked foundation?

"A moot point?" Fili raised one blonde eyebrow.

"Uncle didn't tell you?" Kili suddenly wasn't sure what to do or say. Why wouldn't his uncle have told his heir? Was he that sure that he was going to turn Tauriel away if she was ever found to take up the appointment that the King of Mirkwood had decided upon for her? Did no one think she could actually be found?

"Uncle refuses to talk to me in an unofficial capacity lately." Fili admitted leaning forward a little, his hands clasped together in front of him and his brow furrowed. Now his brother was digging for information, the crown Prince, not just his brother any longer.

"This is a matter of state." He shrugged. "Go talk to uncle and leave me in peace."

"You mean leave you to sulk." Dwalin's voice had him changing the direction in which he was looking. "The King of the Mirkwood has appointed his pointy eared lass as ambassador to Erebor. He's sent his son to fetch her from the west so she can take up the appointment."

"From the west?" The crown Prince was on his feet his voice holding the same level of irritation that their uncle's had when he had heard the news from Lord Círon. "They've known where she was this whole time?" He had gone from incredulous to outraged in the space of a breath.

"Lord Círon assures me that all they've ever known is that she went west. They aren't even sure where she is. Prince Legolas is going northwest to join the Rangers and is going to spread word to try and reach her when he reaches Rivendell." Kili answered him with a tired shrug and a sigh.

"And you're happy with that explanation?" Fili threw both hands in the air as he seemed to explode from his seat.

"No but for the first time in years I can hope again."

King Thranduil raised his glass to his lips and sipped on a delicate red that had been gifted to him by King Thorin when he had sent Lord Círon and word of Tauriel's eventual appointment. Twelve cases of different wines of excellent vintage from the time before Smaug that felt more like payment than a gift and made him want to rethink the appointment he had made and keep his once ward and captain of the guard in his personal service. He had time to think it through, there was plenty of wine to drink and no word yet that she had even been found let alone began her journey back to the Mirkwood.

" _Hîr nín Thranduil!"_ His seneschal strode confidently into the throne room and bowed at the base of the stairs that led to his raised throne.

"Uiron." He acknowledged him with a wave of his hand, his attention switching from the wine in his hand and his missing guard captain to the seneschal that had served his family faithfully for nearly two millennia.

" _Hîr nín_ there are whispers in the forest." He stood from his low bow.

"You disturb me for _whispers_?" He raised an eyebrow. Uiron was not usually the excitable type.

"Normally I would not, _Hîr nín,_ but the trees are whispering of Tauriel's return." The seneschal was schooling his features well but he could tell that he was pleased. Uiron had always taken an interest in Tauriel since she was brought into his purview as the King's ward and at one point Thranduil was sure the seneschal had believed she would take an interest in his position and would one day apprentice and take over as the seneschal of the Great Wood. Tauriel's skills had led her to the military arts instead of those of administration but she had never lost his regard. Uiron had even spoken to the King on her behalf when she had been banished.

"Tauriel?" Her name caused both of Thranduil's eyebrows to rise. He had gotten no word from his son or even from the source herself to say she had been found let alone on a return journey. "Speak with Elarinya, have her take out a patrol and have Tauriel brought before me!"

"She is not alone. She travels in the company of dwarves and a wizard." He replied.

"Be gracious with our guests but have her brought before me none the less." With a wave of his hand he dismissed his seneschal, who bowed low before hurrying off to his duties. Perhaps the problem of his ward were more pressing than he had previously thought.

Glossery

 _Mellonamin – my friend_

 _meleth e-gûr nîn - love of my life_

 _Hîr nín - My Lord_


	8. Chapter 7

C7

"And just where have you been?" Mithrandir looked up from the pile of supplies he was looking down at next to the camp fire as she slipped as silently back into camp as she had left a couple of hours earlier just before dawn had risen. Tauriel dropped the pack she was carrying and then knelt beside him.

"I have been scouting our path and then stopped at the way station. There is no patrol there nor do dark creatures seem to lurking near our path." She dug in the pack pulling out fresh rations that she had taken and handing them to the wizard. There was smoke cured bacon, salted ham and venison, two wheels of hard cheese, lembas bread, a bag of fine ground flour, a small bag of salt and one of sugar as well as a bag of the rich green tea preferred by her fellow wood elves while out of the comforts of their kingdom. She had also restocked the supply of arrows that both her and Aranel needed as well as grain for the horses. "Did you worry I had gone off into hiding again?"

"So you admit you were hiding?"

"Healing is not hiding. All you would have had to do was ask The Lady and she would have told you exactly where I was and what I was doing." She raised her eyebrows. "Why were you looking for me?"

"King Thranduil will not mind you raiding his supply stations?" The wizard asked picking up the sealed package with the bacon in it as well as the knife they had been using to prepare their meals with. Clearly ignoring her question.

"I'll let the quartermaster know what I took when we arrive at the palace." She shrugged. She was not going to worry about the rations she had taken, the way stations were socked in case of need as well as for a patrol's ease. As far as the wizard went she figured that he would break his silence when he was good and ready.

"Your reception in the halls of your King does not concern you?" Arenal moved next to them from where she had been tending to the horses and ponies with the elder of their dwarven companions that had yet to speak to each other since their disagreement the night before.

"He has sent for me. If it is just to imprison me than I shall accept it but the nature of my King, while oftentimes fickle, is not purposefully malicious." She replied splitting the arrows and handing them to her friend who counted them and started to inspect the fletching while Mithrandir cut slices of the bacon that he set to frying.

"I don't know about that, Fili still talks about being thrown into King Thranduil's cells." Sada wondered over, a dripping but full water skin slung over one shoulder.

"It was my Prince and I that put them there." Tauriel couldn't help but smile. "Dwalin was like a rabid creature attacking the bars of his cell, the others were yelling and cursing us and poor young Sídhon kept finding blades on Fili no matter how many times he searched him." All of her companions managed at the very least to chuckle at that.

"I still don't think he ever goes anywhere with less than half a dozen blades on him." Sada was smiling and Tauriel couldn't help but hope that they had come to a turning point in their relationship where at least they could be friendly toward one another.

"And after seeing all of this, Kili turned to me and asked if I was going to search his trousers, after all he could have anything hidden down them." Tauriel shook her head, the smile never leaving her face as Aranel looked at her somewhat aghast.

"To which you answered?" The younger elleth put her arrows down next to her, taking the water skin and filling a small pot which she put directly over their fire.

"Or nothing."

"I bet Kili loved that!" Sada threw back her head and laughed at her reply. "Always the flirt that dwarrow. All the lasses in Ered Lund loved him a little, I think, dwarf or human didn't seem to matter. He could smile at you in such a way that made you feel attractive and a little scandalized all at once."

"His Da was the same." Tauriel couldn't help but stiffen at the sound of the Princess' voice and she wasn't the only one, Sada positively scowled at the campfire in front of her. "Kalin was an accomplished warrior, an incorrigible flirt and I couldn't believe it when he turned his attentions to me. He was killed when his sons were young. I like to think he would have been proud of them."

"He would have been." Mithrandir nodded his head once as though his word on the matter was final. Tauriel watched him turn over the bacon he was frying as their little company fell once more into an uneasy silence.

"It will only take us another couple of days to reach the halls of my King. There you should be able to expect food, rest and the gathering of an escort to take you the rest of the way to Erebor." She broke the silence some time later as Aranel was pouring a lightly sweetened tea into mugs and the wizard was passing around bread stuffed with cheese and bacon.

"You will take us no further?" Sada asked.

"My King will make the best possible arrangements for your continued safety that may or may not include me." She shrugged. If she had her way, she wouldn't go any further. She was not any more eager to set foot in the stone halls she had been cast out of all those years ago than she was to traverse the ground between Taur-nu-Fuin and Erebor.

"You could always ask him." Aranel gave a shrug.

"Such things may be done in Imladris but not in Taur-nu-Fuin. King Thranduil's will is absolute and unquestioned." Tauriel shook her head. "The truth is I would be unlikely to find a warm welcome in Erebor nor am I sure if I wish to go back to that place. It will be difficult enough being back in the halls of my King."

"You do not wish to go back to The Mountain?" Dis looked at her skeptically.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees the land surrounding Erebor as the place where I saw great tragedy unfold." She found herself rebuking Erebor's Princess before she could stop her tongue. The wizard looked at her sharply. She blushed and looked down at the campfire, feeling herself more than a little reprimanded.

"You will find things much changed in Mirkwood as well as Erebor and Dale!" Gandalf snapped. "If you wish your escort to stay as it is Lady Firebeard I suggest that you do the asking and convince King Thranduil of it."

"For now we still have to make it safely to the halls of King Thranduil." Dis shook her head. "The trees here make me uneasy."

"They are old friends and already they are greeting us." Tauriel closed her eyes for a moment a smile gracing her face. "The danger which has chased us thus far cannot continue its pursuit here and while the paths through the wood can be dangerous to those uninvited with Mithrandir and myself with you the forest itself will not cause any confusion."

"Two more days of travel?" Aranel asked as she tidied away their supplies and stood dusting her hands on her thighs.

"Depending on how fast we travel. From my King's halls to the gates of Erebor only two more leisurely day or one day of hard riding." She confirmed.

"Then it is best we are once again traveling." Dis stood up, brushing the crumbs of their late breakfast from her skirts. "I'll start saddling the horses."

"No need to tighten the girths. Today we will spend on foot until we get to the main throughway." Tauriel stated as she too stood, brushing away the crumbs and dirt that had accumulated on her uniform. It felt a little strange to look down and see the clothes that had once been part of her everyday life. A life that seemed like it belonged to someone else.

"On foot?" Sada looked over at her.

"The wood has changed since last I was here, by all accounts less physical dangers lurk but we are a half a day's walk from the main thoroughfare and the path I will take you on is narrow." She explained.

"Then on foot we shall go." Mithrandir nodded.

In less than thirty minutes their little camp was cleaned away with little trace that they had been there. The small company moved in single file the way they had up in the mountain passes along the narrow trail that Tauriel confidently led them along. If Sada had been asked her opinion she would have questioned that it was actually a path but this was the forest that the elder elleth had grown up in so questioning her seemed ridiculous. Aranel however was seeing a new confidence that she hadn't seen before in her friend, she stood taller under these trees, her movement was more fluid and relaxed. She was back in her element and it showed.

As an elfling child Tauriel had lived on the edge of these woods with her parents, played under the branches of the trees and in the waters that flowed under therm. After her parents' deaths and her indoctrination into the royal household she had trained where once she had played under the watchful eyes of her elders. She had spent long hours tracking, hunting and defending in the forest and just as many hours breathing the breath of the trees, listening to birdsong and the hundreds other sounds of life that were prevalent around her.

One slender fingered hand reached out as she walked, the tips brushing against the trunks of trees as she walked silently by. A light breeze lifted the hair from her neck and a small smile graced her lips. Soon she would be home and made welcome or not by those she had once cared for and served she at least would know that the forest around her was pleased by her return.

"What are the halls of Taur-nu-Fuin like?" Aranel asked.

"Grandiose." Mithrandir responded at the same time as Dis answered.

"Repressive!" Was the snarled one word answer the Princess of Erebor gave.

"They are both of those things and much more." The laugh that left Tauriel's lips was genuine and light catching her companion's attention immediately. Laughter had been rare in her life and while she knew it shocked Aranel in particular to hear her, she also couldn't deny how it lifted her spirit to do so once more. She thought that the closer she got to the places where once she had shared time with her _meleth e-gûr nîn_ that she would find it harder to continue forward but instead she found there was a lightness in spirit that her homecoming was bringing.

She launched into a description of the dwelling of her King. The way the great caverns had been created to resemble the forests that grew outside it, the great pillars carved as trees and vines. How green things grew and flourished despite the fact that they were cut off from the direct light of the sun and how even though it was a cavern, it was a living, breathing space full of light and air. She spoke of the great receiving hall of her King with its tall imposing throne and the way that King Thranduil would sit upon it when important guests would arrive or how he would use the space to intimidate those who displeased him. She told them about the spacious apartments, the many balconies, ramparts and towers that provided a place to step out under the stars and yet were undetectable to unwanted and unknowing eyes.

As they walked she reminisced about grand celebrations, long hours of training and patrolling. Without interruption she did her best to paint a picture of the individuals that lived within the palace walls, the important Lord's and advisors, the different warriors within the guard, the gentle and intelligent seneschal, the loud and uptight quartermaster, the sharp tongued head of the healing halls as well as her proud and unyielding King.

Tauriel continued her quiet commentary through the short afternoon as she led them closer to the place she described. Then she stopped dead in her tracks, her words drifting to silence. Each member of their party drew their weapons, Tauriel and Aranel nocked and drew back their bows, Mithrandir drew his sword as Dis pulled out a long curved blade and two axes appeared in Sada's hands. The forest around them was still and silent. The birds had ceased their chatter as abruptly as the older elleth, the horses were stood still as statues alert to their surroundings and the air had stilled as though the very trees had forgotten how to breathe.

"Gwaedhon, step out and make your intentions known." Tauriel stated clearly as she looked sharply to her left swinging her bow around and taking aim as she did so.

A tall dark haired ellon materialized from the forest perfectly in the sights of Tauriel's arrow. Around him in an arrow shaped formation appeared eleven other elves in full uniform with their hands near their sheathed weapons. These were the Captain's guard and she knew everyone by name and by skill. These were her own elite, handpicked and trained by herself and Prince Legolas for the last two centuries to provide leadership for the warriors of Taur-nu-Fuin. If King Thranduil had sent them for her, then his plans for her were indeed less than welcoming.

"You slink back into the Great Wood bringing your dishonor back into these lands, you do not get to question one who has always put their King and Kingdom before all else." Gwaedhon looked down his nose at her and then past her toward the dwarves in her charge. "Still giving loyalty to those outside your charge I see. King Thranduil will not be impressed."

"My King has sent for me and I have answered his call. Those I have escorted are our King's allies and he will not be best pleased with you if you impede their safe return home." Tauriel didn't use the same condescending tone that he did. Instead she took a breath and exercised all that patients that Uiron had shown in raising her.

"I see no allies here, only dwarves and a bringer of ill council." Gwaedhon sneered as his eyes slid past her to look over her companions.

"Also an emissary of Imladris." Aranel said coldly. "Think carefully before you judge those in front of you." The warning had hard grey eyes turning away from the former Captain of the Guard and to the dark haired elleth of Rivendell.

"The King has sent us to bring you to him." Tauriel recognized Elarinya as the golden haired beauty stepped forward a faint smile touching the corners of her lips. "He has been anticipating your return. Please return with us without incident."

"I escort not only Mithrandir and an emissary from Imladris but also the Princess Dis of Erebor and the Lady Sada Firebeard of Ered Luin, there will be no incident so long as they are treated with the respect their station deserves." She answered, not yet lowering her bow as she gave her old friend the majority of her attention.

"On my honor it shall be so." Elarinya bowed softly and Gwaedhon hissed.

"You overstep." He snapped and directed his ire toward one of his own for the first time.

"This was my mission set forth by my King, it is _my_ duty to see that it is carried out with due haste and priority." All hints of friendliness left the elleth's face. "Will you lay down your arms?" She turned back to her former Captain.

"Aranel." Tauriel nodded and turned to her friend. She handed her both her bow and her daggers.

"Tauriel?" Sada questioned as she stepped toward the waiting guards.

"Do as Mithrandir and Elarinya say, you will be taken to the halls of my King and your passage home will be arranged from there." She smiled at her.

"And you?" Dis asked.

"I'll be waiting for you there." She answered as she was quickly surrounded by Gwaedhon and six of the other guards.

"I'm coming with you." Aranel attached herself to the company glaring at Gwaedhon as he gave her a quick assessing glare.

"We will enquire after you when we arrive." Mithrandir put his sword away with a frown on his face.

"Until then." Tauriel nodded and followed the guards along a different path into the forest.

Aranel was unsurprised to find herself led along hidden pathways through the forest nor was she surprised at the much quicker pace they were alive to travel without gear, animals and the slower pace of others to slow them down. The path led them from the forest floor into the branches of trees which had seemed to develop into a hidden aerial highway. There was no discussion, they all moved at a synchronized pace that she had to be careful not to miss the steps of. Through the trees, across paths on the forest floor and even through a couple of passageways under the earth they ran through the afternoon and well into the evening although the passage of time seemed to slow at times beneath the canopy above them.

Around Imladris there were similar trails and pathways through the mountains and plains that the inhabitants and patrols used to move quickly and efficiently through the area. She had grown up playing in the caverns below the halls and had spent much of her early years of patrol watching the entrances and exits of those same paths. The trails through Taur-nu-Fuin felt more organic somehow, like the trees had chosen to grow together and the ground split of its own accord a feeling that she made a note to ask Tauriel about at a later date. For now her friend seemed occupied by more than just the path and pace, her facial features had been schooled into a cold mask that held no emotion and every muscle was strung tight like she was anticipating foul play at any moment. With the way that Gwaedhon had behaved so far, she didn't blame her, he seemed angry and vindictive unlike the other guard captains she had met and that made him unpredictable.

They ran for another hour after dark, until the path changed from packed dirt to polished paving and the trees melted away to reveal a set of small but ornately carved doors. The two guards there looked at them with somewhat startled expressions as they changed from a run to a brisk walk but said nothing as they opened the doors to allow entry.

"Somehow I do not believe that these are the main gates." Aranel commented coolly to the former guard captain.

"They aren't." Tauriel confirmed but said no more as they were led through a number of passages and down a few flights of stairs to a narrow cavern that seemed to go down without ceasing and that was lined with many cells next to the narrow walkway. The tension was back in the set of her friend's shoulders and she could suddenly feel a palpable tension among the guards escorting them along with a smugness that was evident in the face of their commander.

"You shall await the King's pleasure here." Gwaedhon opened a cell door and addressed Tauriel who stiffly moved into the confined space without argument. "Lady Aranel, Sídhon shall escort you to a guest chamber where you shall be catered to until morning when a meeting with King Thranduil can be arranged." His tone was no less haughty when he turned his attention to her.

"I shall stay here until you have made me known to your King, Lord Elrond would not be pleased to know that I abandoned one that he highly values to a prison cell among antagonists." She slipped through the door before she could be stopped and glared at him. "Rest assured Captain, your deeds shall be well known in Imladris."

"This is not Imladris." Gwaedhon sneered and slammed the door shut. "To your duties!" He snapped at the remainder of the Captain's guards before sweeping away, the others following behind him casting infuriatingly apologetic glances over their shoulders at the two imprisoned elleth.

"That was not one of your brighter moments, although I appreciate the loyalty." Tauriel addressed her as she moved to the stone bench that ran the length of the cell and sat, her fingers curling around the edge.

"I believe my Lord Elrond used the word impulsive when first describing my character to you." She shrugged as she leaned against the locked cell door. "This is where you imprisoned your dwarf isn't it?"

"Pardon?" The look she was given was sharp.

"Gwaedhon is a jealous and vindictive soul, why else would he pass over two dozen perfectly good cells to deposit you in this one?" She answered not put off by expression on the older elleth's face.

"Yes, this is where I imprisoned Kili." She confirmed with a sigh. "He sat where I sit now as we spoke about the lives we had lived so far. He told me off the world in which he traveled, the spenders that he had seen both natural and made by the peoples of middle earth." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the air around them. "He thinks he punishes me, he just allows me to remember more clearly and for that I am grateful."

"How long do you think he means to keep us here?" Aranel stopped pacing the cell as she had been for the last hour and leaned one more against the bars.

"Gwaedhon or my King?" Tauriel didn't bother opening her eyes from where she sat in the same position on the bench as she had been in since they were brought to the cell.

"One or the other or both."

"Gwaedhon will make us wait as long as it takes for Gandalf and the others to arrive. As for my King, that depends on the purpose that he had for me from the beginning." She answered. "Come and sit and rest. When King Thranduil hears that you are an emissary with news from Imladris you will not be kept here waiting. You must keep a sharp mind if you are to speak with the king."

"Did Lord Elrond ever tell you that I was well known for being impatient?" She grumbled taking the seat next to her friend.

"More than once." The response was backed with a smile.


	9. Chapter 8

C8

Sada was angry.

She was angry at Dis who had wasted little time calling a seemingly random raven from the sky to send a message home to Erebor, angry at the wizard who had done nothing but mutter to himself since the departure of the main company of elves who had descended upon them and taken away their guide and the object of Sada's own quest. Now Tauriel had been taken by someone who had nothing but malicious feelings toward her and she wasn't sure if she would ever see her again let alone reach her goal of getting the stubborn warrior back into Erebor so that she and her soon to be brother-in-law could work out the tangled mess they had made of their own lives as well as each other's.

She had slept fitfully through the night when it seemed like the others, except their ever alert elven guard, had slept soundly. She had come so close to completing her mission, she was so close to what had become her home and the dwarrow that she loved with a passion that made his hurts and his problems her own and she was failing. What would he say to her if she came home with nothing to prove their forced separation and the danger to her own life had been worth it?

She had brooded through the last of their trek into the famed woodland realm and had watched dispassionately as their horses and ponies laden with their belongings had been taken from them, along with their weapons when they had reached the main gates of the city. Elarinya led them inside at a relaxed pace, happy to allow their wondering eyes time to take in the vast splendor of the halls of her people as she took them to what turned out to be large, well-appointed and luxurious guest chambers. Their bags had already been brought to the rooms and they were shown to what ended up being a wet room with tubs full of hot water gently scented with herbs ready and waiting for them before heading back to a small seating room.

"Your Royal Highness." The well-dressed elf who was waiting for them bowed to Dis. "My Lady, Mithrandir." He acknowledged her and the wizard before looking at the female guard that had escorted them thus far. "Elarinya, the King wishes your report immediately."

"Of course _Hîr nín_ Uiron!" The bow she gave him was much deeper than the one he had afforded Erebor's princess. "Lord Uiron is the King's seneschal, he shall see to your needs."

"I shall go with you." Gandalf informed her, sweeping out of the room before anyone could argue with him.

"At least the wizard will be afforded answers to our questions." Sada grumbled to Dis, looking at the seneschal distrustfully.

"Trust the wizard Sada." Dis snapped, making a slashing movement with her hand to signal that she didn't want to hear more on the subject.

"I would be happy to answer whatever questions you have." Urion inclined his head to her, a gentile smile gracing his face.

"Where are Tauriel and Aranel?" She lifted her chin and demanded, ignoring Dis' previous warning.

"They are currently in the guard keep. After King Thranduil has spoken to Elarinya and you have been received I shall see if I can get you more news of them. Please bathe, eat and refresh yourselves, the King keeps to his own time but wishes you to feel relaxed here and trust that he is working on putting together an appropriate escort to return you to your home in Erebor. A message was sent to the King Under The Mountain this morning telling him of both your safety." Uiron answered her honestly.

"How am I supposed to relax when the one who got us this far is languishing in a jail cell?" She crossed her arms and stared at him.

"Take a bath Sada." Dis commanded, her voice leaving no room for argument. She glared at her fiancé's mother, snatched her bag from the floor next to one of the plush fainting couches and moved off to the door.

"While their lodgings may not be the most comfortable, trust me that I have insured that they have been well tended and fed." The expression on the seneschal's face was compassionate. "I know that there are a few in these halls that feel Tauriel's betrayal keenly and have reacted out of anger because of that betrayal. I also know that there are even more of us that are glad to have her back safe and well." She just raised an eyebrow at him before she turned away from them and into the bathing room.

Even she had to admit that the hot water felt nice as she slid her tired and somewhat achy body into one of the prepared tubs. Whoever had prepared them had tossed chamomile, linden and orange blossom petals along with sage leaves into the water creating not only something that was meant to be soothing but that would relieve some of the physical and mental stress of her travels. Despite her annoyance, the bath and the herbs worked, even when Dis arrived, stripped and slid into the bath that was next to the one she was in.

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the edge of the tub. Even though she was stuck with the older dwarrowdam for the duration of her life she didn't have to talk to her at the moment. She had to work out what her next move was going to be and how she was going to get Tauriel to Erebor despite everyone that seemed to be working against her including the elf herself who still believed that Kili was dead and that Erebor held nothing but unhappy memories for her.

"I want my son to be happy Sada." Dis broke the silence after they had both bathed, changed clothes.

Sada was sat in front of a ridiculously fancy vanity fixing her hair into a pattern of intricate braids that to any other dwarf would instantly proclaim her Clan, her position within her family and the fact that she was indeed engaged to be married to one of the line of Durin, braids that she hadn't worn since she had left Erebor but that now felt imperative to what would happen next here in the halls of the King of Mirkwood. She didn't say anything in return as she fixed the mithril beads that Fili had given her when they had announced their betrothal to her braids.

"The peace between our peoples has not been an easy one since the first age and there have been far too many hurts between our peoples since. Kili may love that elf and she may just love him in return but that isn't going to get them anywhere in this lifetime and if she can find peace and happiness here in what has always been her home then she should be allowed to have it." The elder dwarrowdam continued to speak despite her refusal to engage.

"He'll find out she's here. She'll find out he's still alive. There is too close a relationship now between Erebor and Mirkwood for that not to be the case. We should just tell her and let her choose what to do for herself." Sada said as she flipped her hair and braids over her shoulder so that it tumbled in waves down her back. The chocolate colored gown that she was wearing was slightly looser than it had been when she had started out on her journey but it was the only one that she had packed and would therefore have to do. She ran her hands over the skirts, smoothing the pleats and folds with her fingers as she did so.

"That decision might be out of our hands." Dis shrugged, her own braids already arranged in the intricate web that at home in Erebor the tiara that marked her stations would have fit neatly within. There was a knock on the door and the guard that had brought them to Mirkwood stepped into the room after a momentary pause.

"King Thranduil would like you to join him in the receiving hall." She announced and held the door open for them.

"I guess we'll find out." Sada nodded as she waited for her superior to pass her and lead the way into the hall. They were back in the world of courtly behavior and court politics and as such she would have to defer to those above her current station even if she didn't agree with them.

Sídhon had come for Aranel after they had been given a hearty breakfast with orders from King Thranduil for her to have time to put together the messages from Lord Elrond, bathe and change before meeting with him. Elarinya had slipped down to Tauriel's cell with warm water, a comb and a hot roll filled with cheese and meat and the news that her companions had made it to Mirkwood safely and that the wizard was in conference with her King.

Then she had been left to her own devices. She had eaten her food, washed her hands and face, combed her hair and did it so that the braids kept it out of her face but no longer were the uniform type that she had put in it for years as a member and captain of the King's guard. Her treatment thus far had assured her that her return to her homeland was not going to be a particularly friendly one. She had tried to relax, legs crossed and eyes closed but had quickly given up in favor of pacing.

The last time she had spent this much time near this spot it had seemed like it had been very little time at all, although she knew she had spent more than a few hours listening to the stories that Kili had had to tell her and the stories of her own that she had told him. Now the minutes in her cell drug by, wondering what had happened to Aranel, where the wizard and the dwarves were being kept and if Thorin would be sending his people for his wayward family members. She could only hope that either Uiron or Elarinya would be willing to let her know what had happened when all was said and done.

She took a deep breath and tried to refocus herself. From the conversations she had had with Legolas thing had gotten better in Taur-nu-Fuin but if her King felt she needed to be punished further for her actions she had to find a way to come to peace with her situation before she came before him. With that in mind she sat again and leaned her head back against the stone wall. She drew another deep breath into her lungs and forced herself to relax and let her feelings of frustration go.

"Child," It wasn't Aranel's voice that brought her out of her meditation some time later but that of her former friend and the Kingdom's seneschal Lord Uiron. The sound of a key inserted into a lock and the heavy click as it unlocked made her turn her head in his direction. "Come with me. Our King wishes to see you."

" _Hîr nín Uiron!"_ Once she was on her feet she bowed to her former friend.

"None of that Tauriel." He shook his head and swung the cell door open. "I will have no formality between us. I am glad to see you well."

"I am glad to see you also. I have missed you." She admitted as she let her teacher, caretaker and friend lead her back up toward her King's great hall where he received all visitors to his realm. She ducked her head for a moment, surprised to find a layer of grief just below the surface at the idea that that was now all she was in a place that had been her home for centuries.

It was for that reason that she found herself surprised when they took a sharp right at the end of the hall that would lead into the throne room. Instead she was being led toward King Thranduil's private study. She looked over at Uiron questioningly but besides the quiet smile on his face he didn't say anything. It seemed as even though he knew what was to come he wasn't going to give her any forewarning.

He knocked twice on the large door that led into the study before opening it and holding it wide for her to enter. The room hadn't changed, the light seeming to come through a canopy of leaves that didn't exist but gave the same dappled light that she had always loved. The fireplace held a banked fire in it, casting a red glow on the silver robes that her King was wearing. Thranduil was stood next to the fireplace, in one hand a fine glass goblet, his finest crown in its place on top of his long silver blonde hair and an expression of expectancy on his ageless features.

She bowed low next to the seneschal, her eyes carefully lowered as butterflies flew coordinated patterns in her gut. This was one of the last places she had ever envisioned herself being again in her long lifetime. She had sat in this room listening into matters of the Kingdom as a student and later as a guard keeping watch over her King's safety the way that Gwaedhon was now although she hoped that she had looked less smug than he was looking at the moment.

"Thank you Uiron." With a flick of his wrist Thranduil dismissed the seneschal who turned on his heel and left them. "Tauriel." At the sound of her name she straightened and looked him in the face once more.

"Yes my King?" She replied.

"Am I?" He asked, icey blue eyes sweeping over her form as he took a couple of steps toward her.

"Yes your Majesty." She answered.

"And yet, besides your uniform, you come before me baring none of the marks of your office?" He responded.

"My understanding was that I had no office the moment I set foot in the halls of Erebor after the battle for the mountain." She couldn't help but feel confused. This was not the reception she had been expecting. From the morphing expression on Gwaedhon's face it wasn't what he had been expecting either.

"You have been gone for long enough that you will be unaware of the current political climate here in the west." Thranduil looked over at his Captain of the guard. "Call for wine." He ordered before sitting in one of the high backed chairs near the fire and motioned for her to do the same. She looked at Gwaedhon who was moving to complete his orders even as his face darkened with anger.

"I am unaware of most of what has been happening north-east of Rohan except for what little your son told me when he gave me your missive." She moved closer to the chairs but did not sit. "I never thought that I would be asked to do more than guard those who needed my help, let alone be allowed back to the Great Wood."

"Thorin, King Under the Mountain, has done as much as he can to maintain peace and alliance between Erebor, Dale and my own Kingdom." Thranduil responded.

"Your son said as much your majesty." She nodded glad that her voice sounded steady because inside she was shaken, unsure what to expect next and waiting for one of her King's famous mood changes.

"I see." He brushed her comment aside as a young elleth brought an unstoppered bottle of wine into the room. Thranduil raised an eyebrow at her in question and she shook her head, she didn't need any alcohol clouding her senses. With a flick of his fingers the bottle was set on a side table and the elleth left. "For the first time in centuries there are men and elves inside of Erebor in official capacities. Thorin wants his allies close."

She looked at the profile of her King and wondered why after a decade he had called her back to his Kingdom to talk to her about politics. She hadn't been involved in politics, beyond what was necessary as a guard Captain, since she was an adolescent still at her lessons when Legolas and Uiron would quiz her on the ins and outs of the internal politics during dinner at the end of the day. Her skill set lay in the military arts, in the commanding of warriors and of battle tactics and her education had allowed her to follow that path when court intrigue and maneuvering had begun to irritate her beyond rationality.

"Thorin wishes ambassadors from his allies to live and work alongside the dwarves in his Kingdom." He continued unperturbed by her continued silence. "I'm sure that it was much easier for King Bard to find a suitable candidate, his relationship with the dwarves of Erebor not being rooted in the same distrust that my people seem to have with them... for the most part." The last made her whole posture stiffen. It was the first reference that had been made to the reason behind her exile.

"I am sure that you had many within your court up to the challenge." Tauriel offered.

"I have sent Lord Círon." He responded.

"Lord Círon!" She couldn't help her sudden outburst. Lord Círon had hard time getting along with the other members of King Thranduil's court let alone anyone he felt was beneath him and he would most definitely feel that any and every dwarf was below him.

"Do you have a better suggestion?" He raised his eyebrows at her and she realized that he had deliberately talked her into revealing her personal feelings.

"I'm sure that you know what is best for your people, your majesty." She took a deep breath and hoped that her face didn't give more away than she already had.

"Which is why you will be leaving for Erebor in two days time to escort the Princess and the Prince's betrothed back to Erebor and take over the ambassadorship from Lord Círon." The King stood and motioned for her to follow him.

"Your majesty, there must be someone better suited for the job. I am a guard Captain, a warrior, my specialties do not include politics and they are not going to be happy to see me in Erebor. The last time I was there, they threw me out without letting me collect my belongings." She protested as she followed him through the study and into the throne room.

Thranduil swept into the room, his robes flowing behind him as he marched past his guards and a waiting Aranel and Mithrandir. She looked helplessly over at them as the King glided up the stairs to his elevated throne.

"Let them in." He waved toward the door which two guards opened and Elarinya led the rest of her traveling companions into the hall. Sada and Dis looked clean and put together and Sada moved with an elegance that matched the hairstyle and the dress she sported. Suddenly she looked feminine and Tauriel could see why she had turned Fili's head, she truly was a double edged sword both feminine and fierce at once.

"Welcome to the Great Wood." King Thranduil reclined in his throne and lazily waved a hand to indicate the realm that they were in. "I am pleased that the Lady Tauriel was able to get you safely to my halls and I am more than sure that she will be pleased to put together a proper escort to take you on to your own home in Erebor."

Tauriel felt her hands tighten into fists as he proclaimed half of his intentions to the room at large and then felt shock pass through her as he gave her a title in a way that he hadn't since she was adolescent. Technically, as an acknowledged member of the King's personal household, the title of 'Lady' could be given to her but it had never been something she had sought or encouraged. She just wanted a position in the guard, she wanted to defend and protect those that she cared for not have to worry about playing courtly games.

"Lord Uiron was kind enough to let us know that you had sent word of our safe arrival to my brother, The King Under The Mountain." Dis addressed Thranduil. "I thank you for the kindness as well as the generous escort thus far. However, Tauriel has expressed to us her unwillingness to go back to the Kingdom of Erebor and we do not wish to force her into such a position."

" _Lady_ Tauriel has duties that make her feelings on the subject a moot point." Thranduil turned calculating eyes on her once again as he emphasized her title once more. "Unless you would question my ability to know what is best for my people once more?" The question was directed at Tauriel and it was all she could do to steel herself and bow deeply to her King.

"I bow to your will your Majesty." She responded, hoping that her voice wasn't shaking the same way that her hands were.

"Very well." He nodded. "I have business to attend to with the Princess, please make use of your old suite and refresh yourself before dinner. Uiron will meet with you to discuss travel provisions and any staffing needs that you may have." With another wave of his hand she was dismissed.


	10. Chapter 9

C9

The suites that Elarinya followed her to were ones that she hadn't used since childhood. The minute she had made the royal guard Tauriel had moved herself from her luxuriously appointed suite in the part of the palace intended for the royal household and into the guard's barracks. She hadn't set foot in those rooms since. They hadn't changed, not the caramel sheen of the drapes or the dark green and gold embroidery on the ivory bedclothes or the well-crafted dark wood furniture.

Her travel pack had been put on the fainting couch at the end of the bed and a dark cerulean gown had been laid out on the bed. Clearly what she should wear to dinner had already been decided for her, probably by Uiron by request of the King. Thranduil had always known how uncomfortable she was at state dinners off duty and out of uniform. If her King wanted her to feel unbalanced and unsure of herself then he was going to get his wish.

She took an anchoring breath and almost jumped out of her skin as Elarinya touched her shoulder. She spun and looked at the other elleth wide-eyed; she was so off kilter that she hadn't even registered that she hadn't been left in the room. The blonde was smiling softly at her as she looked at her expectantly.

"It's good that you're home." Elarinya stated. "There is a bath prepared for you and I will be waiting to escort you to dinner when you're dressed."

"You mean, to make sure I can't run away." She muttered ungraciously under her breath but received only a smile in return.

"You can hardly blame our King for being cautious." There was no amusement in the guard's reply but there was compassion on her face. "You forget that I was there both when you pointed a weapon at our King in challenge and also when you turned your back on him and followed the healing party into the heart of Erebor. Your actions grieved the King deeply, you can't be surprised that he would insure that you would carry out his orders now."

"Do you know what it is that he has ordered me to do?" Her fingers caught the hem of one of the dress' long sleeves, letting the soft velvet play across her finger tips.

"Yes, and I have volunteered to take charge of security for your retinue." Elarinya nodded her confirmation. "The King has ordered a fine feast to honor his guests and your appointment as ambassador, bathe, dress and enjoy the welcome you shall receive. Just remember, there are those who don't believe that you deserve the King's continued favor."

"This is not showing favor, this is making sure that I am well and truly punished. When I left the city of Dale ten years ago, I was sure that I would never again set foot in the Kingdom of my childhood and I had hoped above all hope never to go near the shadow cast by the Lonely Mountain. It seems that fate is determined to be cruel." She dropped the sleeve and straightened, clenching her jaw and drawing her shoulders back. She would show weakness no longer and she would not let the dwarves know that what had happened a decade ago meant more to her than they already guessed.

"Friends will go with you and from what I understand you already have friends within the mountain." There was no pity for her in her old friend's voice for which she was grateful.

"If you speak of Lord Círon or anyone he would take as part of his staff when we both know that isn't true." Tauriel snorted but moved away from the dress and began to undo the laces of her vambraces.

"Would you like me to call someone to help you with the laces of your brigandine?" Elarinya said as she moved to the door and took up her post.

"I have not been out of uniform for so long that I have lost the ability to dress and undress myself." She shook her head and placed her vambraces on top of the tall dresser to the side of the vanity. "I will be ready soon, please send a runner to ask Lord Uiron if he needs help from me preparing the supplies for our journey or if he has things under control as I suspect."

"Uiron has things well in hand. Unless you have any special request, all you need to do is show up for dinner on time and to leave for Erebor morning after next."

Tauriel nodded with a smile on her face. That was Uiron, always anticipating and leaving little else for anyone to worry about. It was what had made him so valuable not only to the King but those in his Kingdom as well. She could insist on leaving at first light the next morning and because of the seneschal they would be provisioned and supplied as though they had been preparing for weeks. This was not the life that she was used to let alone had prepared for.

There was a loud knock on her door which Elarinya responded to before she could take more than a step in the direction of the door. Aranel swept into the room, barely casting a look over her shoulder at the elleth who had let her in. She looked around the room then back at her friend before raising an eyebrow at the guard who had taken up her station next to the door again.

"At least this is better than the cells." Aranel shrugged.

"This was my room as an adolescent, before I became a member of the King's Guard." Tauriel looked around her again trying to see the rooms through the eyes of one who had never been there before. They were far more opulent than the rooms that she had as a King's Guard and they were better appointed even than the rooms that she had been given by Lord Elrond but not nearly as grand as the apartments that she had been sequestered in, in the Kingdom of Lorien. There, the homes were carved into the great, golden Mallorn trees that made up the kingdom and that offered the comforts of the natural world in a way that no other place she had ever been had been able to duplicate. Already she could see her friend looking at her in a new light, reassessing the things that she had thought she had once known.

"I see you are still under guard." The younger elleth looked over her shoulder at Elarinya.

"Yes, but at least now the guard is my friend. Elarinya has long been a part of the guard, it was her brother Ruidor who was hunting with the Prince when they came across the Orc party who had slain my family and on later inspection found me." She responded. "I told you that this place was not like you are used to in Imladris. King Thranduil likes to make a statement with everything that he has and does."

"True but I can't say that I am much put off. In fact I shall be journeying on with you to Erebor at invitation from both your King and the Princess." Aranel moved her bag and helped herself to the fainting couch as Tauriel continued to remove pieces of light leather armor and then the outer layer of her traveling clothes.

"If your goal is to see as much of the world as is possible before going back to Imladris I can write your letter of invitation that will gain you access to the great hall of Meduseld in Edoras once you've had enough of Erebor" She shook her head at her friend's eagerness. It was a feeling that she remembered from before the Battle of the Five Armies, when she was more ignorant of the world and what it held.

"Only if you can guarantee me a horse like yours." Aranel responded and Tauriel paused then looked sharply over her shoulder at her guard. Thranduil's announcement had her thoughts in such a tangle that she had forgotten to inquire about her horse.

"She is safely in the King's stables, has been bathed, brushed, fed and bedded down in a stall filled with straw. She is being treated as one with her bloodline deserves." Was the answer to the unasked question. "How did you get a horse like that one?" There was envy as well as curiosity behind the question.

"First I had to leave the Great Wood." She quirked an eyebrow at her old friend.

* * *

"King Thranduil has sent you a missive." Balin walked into the King's study the parchment message he had just received from an elvish messenger who had ridden quickly to Erebor clutched in his hand. The messanger was now reporting to the elven ambassador before taking a quick supper and heading directly back to the woodland realm. Both the King Under The Mountain and the crown Prince looked sharply up at the old advisor. No one had expected word from within King Thranduil's palace let alone from the King himself. Since Lord Círon had taken up residence in The Mountain all communications had come through him much to everyone chagrin.

"Ma may have sent word again; she said that she and Sada were close to King Thranduil's palace." Fili asked his uncle as inwardly he shuddered, even now as an ally to the elven kingdom he felt uneasy in that place and he would never forget what it was like bobbing along in the empty but sour smelling wine barrels. If he thought about it too hard he could still remember the seasickness and the smell and feel of the fish that was later dumped upon their heads.

Thorin didn't reply, just took the parchment from his adviser and broke the royal seal. He read in silence for a few moments, carefully turning the page to read the whole message before pulling out quill, ink and parchment of his own. The minutes seemed to tick by slowly as the King wrote his message back to the other ruler, the only sound in the room the crackle of the fresh log in the fireplace and the scratching of Thorin's quill as he wrote. When he folded the letter Balin handed him a candle, lit and ready, which he used to drip wax onto the edge and then pressed the official seal of the King Under the Mountain in the blood red wax. He took another smaller strip of much finer paper, wrote a few small words on it before rolling it into a tiny roll and putting it in a small intricately carved pewter tube, smaller than the length of the tip of his thumb to the first knuckle.

"Give this letter to the King's messenger and send this by raven to my sister." Thorin held out first the sealed letter and then the tube which would be affixed to a raven's leg by the head of the Raven Keepers.

"Yes your majesty." Balin stuck to titles even as his aging body wouldn't allow him to bow the way that he would have in the past.

"Have another runner sent to fetch Dwalin and Kili." He gave a second set of commands. The older dwarrow nodded his head in acknowledgement before heading back out the door, sealing it carefully behind him the way that Thorin liked it.

"Sada?" Fili couldn't stop himself from asking as he sat up in his chair, alert once more where he had previously been bored close to tears.

Before Balin had come into the room they had been discussing the beginning of the preparations for the Durin's Day celebrations and the memorial that was held every year afterward for those who had lost their life in the battle of the five armies. Duties that usually fell to his mother but with her absence had somehow fallen on the Crown Prince and made him wonder if he was being punished for Sada's actions. Durin's day was still two months away and then if all went to plan and his betrothed showed up and didn't run away again then his wedding would take place just after the winter solstice. Unfortunately, Thorin was already questioning whether he would allow the wedding to go forward or if he should make them wait and see what Sada would do next.

"With your Ma in Thranduil's palace. Safe and well and resting before they begin the journey back to Erebor. Thranduil described her as delightful so I can only imagine that she is on her best behavior or the King is lying to us and she is in fact deathly ill." Thorin replied with little humor.

"When?" He was on his feet and pacing before he could stop himself. His uncle hated when he paced, said that it was unseemly for a monarch or future monarch to appear restless but Fili had seen his uncle at the forges late at night when the majority of the mountain was asleep or in their homes, shaping metal, making blades and pounding out his frustration where only a trusted few could see it. He made no comment on his uncle's remarks about Sada already knowing his lack of patience where Sada's faults were concerned.

"They will leave tomorrow morning, we should be able to expect them early the morning after." Was the response that was made over the sound of the scratching of a quill on parchment as Thorin wrote. "I will send out a patrol to meet them at the edge of Mirkwood and help insure that they will be brought home safely."

"You're going to have Dwalin put together a guard?" He stilled, turning toward his uncle sharply. If anyone was going to lead that party he was going to make sure that it was him.

"No!" Thorin snapped immediately as though sensing his thoughts.

"But Uncle," He tried again but Thorin cut him off.

"I said no!" With a slicing motion from one hand he stopped further discussion. "Neither you nor Kili will step foot outside this mountain tomorrow. You shall continue your duties and wait like the rest of us for Sada and your Ma. I will not hear another word about it from you and I will tell your brother the same thing. Far too much time, effort and attention has been given to the disappearance of your bride and the search for an elf-maid whose only significance is the way she kept saving your brother's life over a decade ago."

"He would have died without her three times Uncle." Fili shook his head exasperated with his uncle's inability to understand or come to terms with his brother's desperation to find the she-elf who had not only imprisoned him but saved him.

"She's coming here with them." The King steepled his fingers on the desk in front of him as he took a deep breath and confided in his heir. "She is to take up the ambassadorship from Lord Círon."

"Thank the Valor! We get rid of Lord Círon and in the same stroke the rest of us might get some peace and he can moon over her instead and we won't have to listen to him moan and complain about the way she was treated and her continued absence." He laughed, relief bubbling up in him knowing that Sada was almost home and would soon be surrounded by dwarrow handpicked and trusted by the hardened warrior that had protected and trained him and his brother in their youth. He was sure that he would be able to make a few suggestions and maybe insert an old friend or two to make sure that he was well represented.

"There can be no mooning. Kili cannot be allowed to continue this infatuation. I will not allow that she-elf to stay in this mountain if he cannot control himself and comport his behavior as one in the royal family is expected to." Thorin thumped his fist into his desktop making the glass ink bottles rattle against each other and the parchment crinkle. Fili looked at his uncle wide-eyed. "There can be no romance allowed between them and beyond this room today no such thing will ever be discussed again. Kili is a son of Durin's line and a member of the royal household. He does not have the luxury of looking outside of his own kind for a bride nor will extramarital affairs be supported by members of the royal family."

"You're going to tell him that?" His surprise was palpable, he, like the rest of the company and the very few close friends who had some inclination that Kili felt more than friendship for the she-elf he had been looking for, always thought that when she was found it wouldn't take long for him to realize the differences between the two of them and his infatuation would fade as quickly as it started. Personally he had grown to believe he would love her no matter what but he was sure that if his uncle forbade his brother outright then there would be no hope that his brother would ever see sense again and set his hat to the elf even if it meant exile.

"I am. You are going to help Dwalin get a guard ready and work out what it was that you are going to say to your betrothed so that I don't have to give her a dressing down about her own behavior. It must be made clear to her that such a stunt will not be tolerated again, not before your wedding and certainly not again afterward. Have I made myself clear?" Thorin's face was set and serious.

"Very." Fili answered, his own back stiffening. His uncle meant business and it seemed that even his long standing engagement was under threat now because of Sada's willful and headstrong nature, a part of her that he wouldn't recognize her without and didn't want to curb for fear of it changing her in ways that would cause a rift between them in the future.

There was a knock on the door and then the study door opened. Both Dwalin and Kili walked into the room smiles on their faces from something that had been said between them before they had entered the room but after looking between the King and the crown Prince both of their smiles faded.

"What's amiss?" Dwalin asked, the serious nature of the dwarrow taking over and turning him from friend to warrior and commander of the King's Armies in the blink of an eye.

"Nothing, greatly." Fili responded dryly casting his brother a look that he hoped convey that he should tread carefully where his uncle was concerned. "With your permission I will take my leave of you all and will be available in my own study should anyone need me." He looked over his shoulder as he spoke, looking to his Uncle for leave even as he spoke.

"Dwalin will meet you there when we're done here." Thorin nodded his approval and Fili nodded in return, clapped his brother on the shoulder before he left the room and headed toward his own study to pace in peace and try to work out a way to convince Dwalin to help him get on the patrol that would pick up Sada and his Ma.

He shook his head as his personal guard fell in behind him and followed him along the halls of Erebor. Dwarrow nodded their heads to him and moved out of his way, some with words of greeting on their tongues, some with none but he ignored them all. He was trying to work out what it was that he was going to say to Sada when he first saw her. Was he going to wring her neck and give her the dressing down that his uncle believed that he should or would he just embrace her and be glad that she was home and with him?

Part of his wanted nothing more than to shout at her, demand promises that she would never leave his side again, take out all the worry, anger and frustration that he had been feeling since she left but he also knew that Sada had always been a little wild and that likely even the crown wouldn't entirely tame her. Nor would any words that he said on the matter have any other affect on her than to turn her sulky and irritable or at the farthest extreme cancel the engagement entirely just to spite them both. He wasn't sure that he would have fallen in love with her without that wild streak or if he wanted to change her.

He waved his guard off when he got to his door. The heavily armored dwarrow nodded once in acknowledgement before taking a post by the door. It was going to be a rough couple of days especially if he was made to stay behind in Erebor. He rushed to his desk and pulled out his own parchment and ink, it didn't take him long to write a quick note, seal it and rush it to the door. His guard looked over at him sharply as he thrust the note out to him.

"There should be a messenger from the Woodland realm with Ambassador Círon, please ask him to take this message back with him when he departs." He gave him the note. The guard looked sharply at him.

"I'm not supposed to leave my post your highness." He responded but the note was already in his gauntleted hand.

"I won't be leaving this room unless I'm with Commander Dwalin, go now!" He ordered, only turning back into his study when the bewildered guard trotted off on his new assignment. He could only hope that his message would reach her before she left.

* * *

Excitement went to war with dread within him.

He had waited, bided his time and now his master was calling upon him. He would easily be able to insert himself into the patrol going out to retrieve the wayward members of the royal family and there he could complete his mission. The only question now was how to go about it. He would be able to get close enough to take care of the problem in a number of ways but he had enough respect and care for the betrothed of his prince to wish a painless death on her.

There were poisons that were tasteless and odorless, that would cause near to instantaneous death if the doses were right when eat or drank. Others that could coat a blade but that would cause fever and painful convulsions. A blade would do the job quickly but would cause more of a mess than he would like and there was always a possibility that weapons would be easier to intercept.

In reality he was going to have to wait and see what opportunities he would have. Prepare for all eventualities and bide his time while reminding himself that no matter how unpleasant the job at hand was, it was imperative that it was carried out. On his shoulders the integrity of the line of Durin rested along with the strength and continued pride of his people as a whole.

His master had been clear. There were only two operatives left that would be able to stop the degradation of his people. His job was to go out and stop them from arriving, the other operative, whoever he was, was to wait and follow another plan encase he was unable to play his part or stopped before he could carry it out.

He could not fail.

He could not burden another with the path that he must walk and walk it he must no matter how painful it would prove to be. This was about the future and making sure that his people would thrive once more under the line of Kings that would rule under the mountain and history would be kind to him eventually when it was acknowledged that he had made sure that the line of Durin remained untainted and strong.

He packed two poisons into a small box that he quickly sealed and stuffed into the middle of his traveling pack, one vial of poison to coat a blade and a package of powder to mix into food or liquid. He put his spare wool padded shirt on top of the box before a knock on the door made him hastily stuff his personal dagger down the side making a lump in the pack that he could only hope wouldn't be noticed.

"Come!" He called and buckled the closure of his pack's straps as his door opened.

"I'm glad you agreed to go." Prince Kili's voice made him jump slightly and his visitor laughed at his expense.

"Of course." He nodded, gripping the strap of his pack.

"The new elven ambassador will be traveling with Mam and Sada, will you give her this message for me?" The prince held out a carefully folded letter.

"Me?" He looked at him unsure as he reached out and took the letter.

"I can trust you to be discreet." The Prince nodded and he tucked the letter that he knew he would never deliver in his wool jerkin that covered his mail shirt. "Take care of them for me." Kili added before he turned for the door.

"Everything I do is for the crown." He answered softly, almost to himself as guilt gnawed on his innards once more.


	11. Chapter 10

C10

Her homecoming had been a strange thing. Completely different from any scenario that she had imagined and now that she was back, she was off kilter and still unsure of what would be waiting for her around the next corner.

Tauriel was left alone for the most part without ever actually being alone. Her King had assigned her a small guard that he insisted went along with the post that he insisted that she take and they followed her doggedly whenever she left her suites and whom she didn't dare to try an escape for fear that the welcome she had been given would once more be rescinded in favor of her King's prison.

She had spent her first dinner quiet, only speaking when spoken to and devoting her mind to working out who would make a better choice than she for the role she was being asked to play and found that while she knew a candidate or two she had no idea how it was that she would put them forward or if king Thranduil would even be inclined to listen to her. She had paced the hidden battlements the whole night afterward and wished that she had been more effective at hiding in the first place. She should have left the wizard to deal with the dwarves and gotten on with her life the way that she had been. Then, at the very least, she would have been free.

She was given no time the next day to think further on the life that she had led over the previous decade. She was shuttled from meeting to meeting with Uiron on one side, Aranel on the other and Elarinya following dutifully behind. She met with the quartermaster, the stable master, a slew of seamstresses, two dozen members of the guard who had volunteered to accompany her and out of whom she had to pick five to continue as her guard. Once that was over she met with a handful of her King's advisers who did their best to explain to her the most pressing matters of the kingdom and when they were unable in the short time they had, they pressed stacks of parchments and scrolls into the arms of those that had accompanied her.

She was quickly becoming overwhelmed and begged off lunch to slip down to the stables and breathe in the scents of fresh hay, horse and well-oiled leather. She had found her own mare content in a stall twice the size she was used to with fresh straw bedding that came nearly to her knees. With a bucket of grooming tools in hand she had managed fifteen minutes of quiet time to herself before a runner and a groom had appeared together at the stable door. The groom took over her task with an apologetic shrug and she had been dragged back into the palace to hear Captain Gwaedhon's complaints over her choices for her guard and be passed among another group of palace officials before another round of fittings with the seamstresses and then to her room to wash and dress for dinner.

A grand spread had been laid out on King Thranduil's banquet table, enough to feed all that came to it for days to come. She had been sat in a seat of honor at the King's left side with Mithrandir on his right next to their dwarven guests, Aranel at her side and his favorite officials surrounding them. She was toasted, her goblet was kept constantly full and her King seemed to be enjoying the discomfort that the situation was causing her although she was sure that to everyone but himself and Uiron she looked as stoic as she always had when she had been a guard captain. There had been jokes made about her unfeeling nature in those days and she was glad that very few had known just how deep her feelings had truly run.

The table had been cleared with a flick of his wrist when everyone seemed to have eaten their fill and then the music and dancing began as if it were a feast night. Not even on the day of her nativity had such a fuss ever been made of her nor on her appointment to Captain of the King's own guard. Wine flowed with abundance among the guests, helping the dancing create many a flushed and smiling face as she sat stiffly next to her King and their guests and watched, only participating when she was given no other choice.

"I trust that you have everything that you need to continue your journey in the morning?" King Thranduil addressed her but continued to look out into the hall. His eyes were on the merry making of his people and she could only hope that he could find some joy in their pleasure despite the fact that he had never participated in all the long years that she had been at the palace.

"Yes, hîr nín, I have all that I need and so much more. My thanks." She replied. He had lavished jewelry and an extensive wardrobe on her, given her finely made stationary, a second riding horse (though not as fine as her own chestnut mare), a finely made chain mail shirt and a brand new set of the leather armor that archers such as herself preferred, along with a sword, bow and blades that had been made especially for her for the occasion, though they were so ornate that she could hardly imagine using them.

"I will not have Thorin, King Under the Mountain, believing that he is the only one that holds riches in this land." The King commented and her own thoughts on the matter were confirmed. The things that he had given her were less about her and her position within his household and much more about showing off to the other rulers that he shared this part of Arda with. Thranduil son of Oropher would not be outdone by anyone and he would use whomever he needed to prove it, with no regrets.

Tauriel stayed only as long as she had to, begging permission to leave to organize the last of her belongings as well as go over the list of supplies that were being sent with her. She was beyond relieved when leave was given and she could retreat, first to her rooms to change into far more comfortable clothing and then to the dark battlements. It was just Elarinya who followed her and out of respect kept her distance and her own council.

Sleep would not come easy for her, not now that she knew that in less than forty-eight hours she would once again be setting foot in Erebor. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, soaking in the smells of the forest and trying to settle her soul before she had to face the inevitable. She couldn't imagine what it was going to be like to walk in those stone hallways knowing that Kili was laying buried in the mountain, she couldn't help but feel that she would end up feeling buried as well, just alive to know it.

"Do you know why I left Erebor?" She was surprised to hear Sada's voice before she actually saw the dwarf-maid and chastised herself for the way that she had let her mind wonder and with it her attention to her surroundings.

"I did not ask and you have not volunteered the information." Tauriel replied, not bothering to look away from the quiet wood. Sada had been an anomaly, one minute still as stone and just as cold, the next animated and forward with her thoughts but always guarded and always clear in her dislike of her elven guide even in her appreciation.

"I wanted to hate you." The crown prince's betrothed said bitterly instead of explaining as she settled herself next to her, both hands resting on the battlements. "Set out to do so and knew I was right to as well."

"I cannot claim to understand why you chose that path before we even met but I believe that you've met your goal admirably." She just raised her eyebrows as she looked up at the night sky. She was beginning to wish that the dwarf hadn't chosen to seek her out. She wanted some peace before her journey to Erebor, Sada just wanted to be there already and she wasn't sure how she was going to stand to cross the threshold.

"I can't hate you." The words were soft. "But I'm not sure that it would be wise for us to become close as friends either."

"Wise or not, you should get some sleep. The dawn will come early." Tauriel shrugged, she had already had enough of this conversation and if she could get the blasted dwarf to leave her alone she might just be able to allow her mind some rest.

"And you'll stand here and keep watch again tonight? Do you blasted elves never sleep?" Sada snapped, irritation coloring her tone but she got the distinct feeling that the dwarf wasn't actually irritated with her for once. She looked over at her, wondering why it was that she was wondering King Thranduil's halls without Dis and why it was that she had sought her out.

"We sleep, we just don't need as much as you do and I don't like the dreams that await me there." She answered truthfully and Sada frowned but nodded as she took the information on board.

"You once told me that elves only ever loved once." The statement was soft, made some time later after they had been standing looking out into the softly lit darkness together.

"Yes." Tauriel's answer was nearly a whisper, her green eyes closed for a moment, her mind's eye pulling up the memory of Kili's smiling face so vividly that she thought that if she opened them he could be standing right in front of her. Her heart clenched painfully and she blinked a few times to clear her vision. Wherever she went she carried him in her heart and according to the Lady of Lórien that meant that he would never truly die. "Just once, a love meant to carry us through the ages."

"But what about if they die?"

"We carry our memories with us until we can no longer bear to go on and then some fade and some sail to the undying lands but mostly we just endure." Unconsciously her hand had sought the ruin stone that was stored safely in an inner pocket of her robe near to her heart. The hardness of the stone stilled the grief inside her as she drew a measured breath. In and out to the beat of her heart just a she had been taught so that she could indeed endure. "You worry about your union with the Prince?"

"Never!" Sada looked up sharply, her jaw set and her expression the most confident she had ever seen when the warrior hadn't had a weapon in her hands. "The one thing that I am most sure of in this lifetime is and always has been Fili. It's rare to see a re-marriage in our people but it happens, there are few that hold to the idea that you can only love once, not unless you are one of the lucky few that find and are able to recognize that the literal other half of your own soul living in another."

"We would say meleth e-gûr nîn." She offered the elven phrase.

"We have a word for it also." Sada nodded.

"Amrâlimê." Tauriel breathed the word before she thought of the consequences.

"How?" Sada snarled, her head snapping around and her teeth bared ever so slightly in a look of angered horror.

"I did not mean offense." Tauriel was quick to offer apology. "I heard it said once, at the time I was too caught up in my own personal conflict to understand what it meant but later, on reflection, I assumed that it meant some sort of variation of a declaration of love."

"Mahal, forgive him." Sada hissed, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Kili is a fool. Never thinks before he acts or speaks. Jumps in with both feet, consequences be damned and the rest of us along with him but then I'm sure you are just as aware of that as the rest of us." Her green eyes were bright with annoyance when she looked back up at her.

"Sada…" She had opened her mouth to reproach her for speaking ill of the dead but instead found herself without the words to do so.

"I have lied to you from the moment that we met and Dis would have me continue to lie to you until there is no choice but for the truth to come out. She would have you unaware and unbalanced so that she can judge for herself who it is you really are and decide if you are worthy to be called friend." The dwarf-maid shook her head to stop any further response. "Dis is most fierce when she is protecting her family and she is working desperately to do just that. I love them too, both of her sons and everything I have done is to try and make things right again."

"Fili told you about what happened before he and his brother reached the mountain." The knowledge that her secret was farther known than she wanted was like a lump of hard metal forming in her stomach.

"No," Sada shook her head, uncertainty flashing across her face. "Kili did."

Tauriel physically recoiled.

She felt cold, her heart stuttered in her chest and breathing was agony. Was there no end to the cruelty of dwarves? Had she not suffered enough? Had the brother that Sada claimed to love not grieved enough in the face of his brother's demise that it was now acceptable to use him against her on the eve of their return to the lonely mountain? Was this just another way that the two dwarves had come up with to try and keep her away?

"Why?" She breathed, anger burning brightly within her hurt. "What do you gain by letting those words pass your lips?"

"It's the truth." Sada pressed, turning toward the direction in which her feet had taken her so she was blocking her most direct route off the battlements. "I set out west to look for you and to bring you back to Erebor because I could no longer stand another minute of Kili walking around acting the martyr because you left him and disappeared from the face of middle earth!"

"The signal fire went out, he died!" Tauriel hissed at her, wishing suddenly for a blade, her vow to get this damn dwarf back to Erebor all but forgotten under her sudden onslaught of emotion.

"We don't know how the signal fire went out but he did not die!" Sada caught her arm in a tight grip as she tried to move farther away from her. "Kili is alive and well within Erebor, if you don't believe me, go ask your king!"

Tauriel snatched her arm back, taking a step back and squaring her shoulders, her eyes flickering over the top of Sada's head to see Elarinya watching them intently from a few yards away, her hand on a blade at her hip in readiness. She looked back again and then away, trying to get control over the different emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her body. She felt a cold sweat break out across her body and the muscles in her legs tremble and weaken, the world was spinning out of control and she was spinning right along with it, body ice cold and aflame all at once until she wasn't sure what was left within her control.

"Tauriel?" Sada's voice had lost its tone of confrontation and sounded more concerned. "Please, I am not trying to tick or hurt you, I just need you to know the truth so that you have time to process it before we get to Erebor and you are confronted with it."

"How can that be?" She whispered, her hands gripping the edge of the parapet, the stone cold even if it was impossibly smooth beneath her palms. Her question was not for anyone near her, more an open plea to forces unseen.

"Sada?" It was Princess Dis' voice that cut through the night and made the air settle oppressively around them. All three sets of eyes snapped to the doorway the elder dwarf stood in taking in the scene in front of her, understanding dawning on her features. Her brown eyes were cold and dangerous when they snapped to her future daughter-in-law. "How dare you!" The words were said softly but there was a hint of violence in her tone.

"How dare she?" Tauriel heard her own voice raised half an octave above normal from what felt like somewhere outside of herself as if she was no longer in control of herself or her actions. "How dare you! I asked nothing of you but truth. I protected you and Sada, willing to give my own life in exchange for yours if the situation had called for it in payment for a debt that I do not owe. Gen fuion!" Her voice had risen until she was shouting at the individuals in front of her.

"Tauriel?" Elarinya called to her and she wasn't sure if it was to stop her from continuing or to check on her state of being.

"Goheno nin." She took a deep breath and looked at her once friend, apologizing to her for the outburst that was so outside of her character, not to those who had caused it. "Send a runner to Mithrandir, I know it grows late but ask him if he is willing to meet with me. Send another to Aranel, I could use her council. I find I have had enough of the treachery of dwarves for one night." And with her heart thundering in her chest she swept past her traveling companions back into the halls of her childhood home, to fight or to flee she still wasn't sure.

Aranel had become accustomed to the aura of malaise that surrounded Tauriel from sun up to sun down and all that went between but she hadn't expected the agonized despair that she walked into. Mithrandir looked sober as he looked over at her as she walked into her friend's room, it seemed that he had been summoned before she had and that the news she was walking into was not good.

"Man siniath?" She looked between them. Tauriel just moved away from the wizard to the open window and stared outside unblinking so her attention turned almost exclusively to Mithrandir.

"Too many lies. Too many hurts. I am ashamed to say that I have been complicate as well." The wizard shook his head as he stood. "I will see you both in the morning."

Aranel just stood aside as he left and watched her friend carefully, cautiously. She moved farther into the room. Nothing had been disturbed that she could tell, there had been no scuffle or fight but the distress was almost palpable. She sat on the edge of the fainting couch and watched Tauriel closely, not sure what move she was going to make next but content to wait her out.

She wasn't sure how long they were silent in that room except that it wasn't longer than a full notch in a candle. Then Tauriel moved to sit next to her, perched in such a way that flight would be easy and they sat again for half the time they had before. Again she was up and moving, now pacing the floor in front of her vanity in such an industrious manner that she was unsure what was going to be the next natural progression.

"He's alive." The words were spoken at barely a whisper but the room was so quiet they may as well have been shouted.

"Who?" Aranel found herself asking although in her gut she already knew. This was the great secret that the dwarves had been holding so close to their chests as though their very lives depended upon it.

"Kili." She breathed.

"What are you going to do?" The younger elleth asked.

"I don't know." She replied and then said no more through the long hours of the night.

The next day dawned bright. Perfect traveling weather. Aranel watched with veiled concern as a seemingly emotionless Tauriel walked out into the courtyard of her king's halls with her retinue following behind her. Her chestnut mare glimmered in the early morning sunlight along with the silver inlay in the tack that had been placed upon her.

King Thranduil was in the middle of the courtyard giving great show to sending off his people and his guests. Tauriel wore a robe inlaid with silver and gold thread that moved gracefully around her as she accepted her king's blessing and led their party out of the palace court yard at a carefully controlled canter that lasted just long enough to be out of view of the gates.

Things quickly reshuffled from that point. Tauriel took off her fancy robe to reveal the same traveling clothes she had been wearing from the beginning of their journey. Mithrandir moved forward through their party with herself and Elarinya while the rest of her guard carefully moved the two dwarves to the middle of the group, keeping them surrounded and away from their leader. They moved at a steady trot through the forest until they made it to the plains that stretched between Mirkwood, Dale and Erebor and then Tauriel called a for a progression to a steady walk and the company seemed to arrange itself as it willed with the exception that every time the dwarves tried to move forward through the elven retinue their path was blocked, effectively keeping them away from the lead and also those who led.

"We cannot ignore them for the rest of our travels nor when we get to the mountain." Mithrandir said flatly.

"I am more than aware." Tauriel responded flatly, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. "Send up the hawks, I want a warning should anyone try to approach us."

"Be iest lín." She nodded. Aranel undid her falcon's hood and stroked his head gently. "Hortho le huil vaer." She whispered before releasing the jessies and let the hawk take to the sky. She watched him circle above them and then disappear into the day. She looked over at her friend who was staring ahead of them, her jaw working and her eyes focused on nothing but the horizon.

"I don't know who is more stubborn, dwarves or elves." Mithrandir muttered and peeled away from them.

"You don't have to keep watching me as though I'm going to shatter into a million pieces." Tauriel broke the silence some time later.

"You aren't?" She raised an eyebrow at her. "Have you even decided what you're going to do now that you know he's alive?"

"Nothing different. Nothing has changed in reality. He is still a dwarf, an heir to the King of Erebor and I am an elf, less than that, a silvan elf and an ambassador from my King to his." She shook her head not bothering to look at her as she spoke.

"What has being silvan got anything to do with anything?" She snorted, if her friend was just going to come up with weak reasons why things couldn't change for the better then she would help her to see just how weak those reasons really were.

"To the dwarves perhaps nothing. They do not understand the cast distinctions that we have among ourselves." Tauriel replied.

"There are fewer of our kind than you think that care about whether you are silvan or not. Your time in Lothlorien and Imladris should have shown you that much at least." She was scornful.

"Things are different here Aranel." Tauriel shook her head.

"But you proclaimed him meleth e-gûr nîn. How can you give that up?" She looked sharply over at her.

"Because there is no other choice. I have to be happy to live with the knowledge that he's alive." The elleth sighed, a sound that conveyed just how tired she must have been feeling.

"And that existence is better than the one that you've been living?" She couldn't help but feel aghast, as unconventional as a pairing between an elf and a dwarf was, even to her, it was no more perplexing than the idea that Tauriel would ever give up on anything. Since the moment she had known her, the older elleth had attacked everything in her life with single minded determination, she never gave up no matter the odds and she certainly didn't accept defeat before trying.

"It has to be." The reply was short.

"Well it looks like we have company." Aranel didn't get the chance to question her further as her attention was caught by her hawk circling in the sky a league and a half way from them. She watched him circle and dip and then bank over and over again and anger flared in her blood steam as she realized that whoever was below him was taking potshots at him with a bow.

"Friend or foe?" Tauriel caught the direction that she was looking in quickly.

"No idea but they are shooting at my bird." Aranel growled. Whoever they were, they were going to pay if they actually hit her hawk. She raised her arm and whistled a special trill that she used to get her bird's attention and hoped that for once he was in the mood to cooperate and that he could hear her over the distance. "What do you want to do?"

"Move forward with caution. If I was King Thorin and my lost family members were on a known route home I wouldn't wait for them to arrive and hope that they get there safely." She acknowledged with a frown. "Go talk to Sada, see if she will come take a look."

"You should go talk to her yourself." Aranel shook her head but did as she was bid, peeling back to go find the younger of the dwarves.

The pair weren't hard to find, tucked right into the middle of the retinue that were traveling together. Sada looked up at her instantly, a deep frown on her face as she took in her expression. Dis, however, was hunched into her cloak staring straight ahead of her at the back of the rider in front of her.

"I assume that you have an opinion you would like to give." Sada snapped at her, already on the defensive before she was able to get a word out.

"I have an opinion and if you ask me for it, I will happily give it but until then I will keep my thoughts to myself." Aranel replied only raising her eyebrows a little at the hostility. "I need you to come with me for a moment. There's something you need to have a look at."

She didn't look over her shoulder to make sure that Sada was following her when she kicked her gelding forward again. Sada's pony was a game little creature that kept up with her back to the front of the group where Tauriel was stroking the top of her bird's head as she frowned into the distance.

"He's not hurt." Tauriel told her as she took the bird back and ran her fingers along the fine bones of his wings and then his breast. Aranel looked over at Sada who was looking at Tauriel like she wanted to say something but didn't know how as the bird nipped at her wondering fingers in irritation. "If Thorin was to send someone to fetch you who would it be?

"Dwalin most likely or perhaps Vafrig, maybe Fili or Kili or perhaps both. I would bet on Dwalin through. Why?" Sada answered.

"We are coming up on company." Aranel replied and the dwarf-maid looked sharply over at her, her right hand sneaking quickly into her cloak she was sure to run her fingers over the head of one of her axes.

"Are they dwarves?" Sada looked to Tauriel for the answer.

"Not sure. Can't see them yet." She shrugged answering for her friend. "But I can't say that I like them much, they were shooting at my hawk."

"Is he hurt?" The question held no concern, more curiosity. Aranel shook her head and slipped his hood back on the hawk's head. "If they are a contingent of Dwalin's then they don't have Kili with them. He would have shot your bird right out of the sky." Both of them couldn't help but notice the way that Tauriel stiffened at the mention of the prince's name but she shrugged it off.

"The question is; would someone try and make an attempt on your life this close to Erebor?" She asked and looked with caution out at the horizon.

* * *

Glossary

hîr nín - My Lord

meleth e-gûr nîn - Love of my life

Gen fuion - You disgust me

Goheno nin - Forgive me

Man siniath - What news?

Be iest lín - As you wish

Hortho le huil vaer - May useful winds speed you on

Amrâlimê - Khuzdul -My Love


	12. Chapter 11

C 11

The dwarves that greeted them were indeed from Erebor sent by King Thorin. Dwalin rode at the head of a platoon of fully armored dwarves all riding on the back of sleek looking battle rams, all in full plate armor that had been polished to a high shine and made a striking sight. Instantly Tauriel bristled at the show of force despite the fact that both Dis and Sada were so clearly glad to see others of their own kind and she knew that her king would see it the same way she had; as an insult. She had protected dozens of individuals and their wares over the last decade and she had protected the princess and Fili's betrothed so far and she was more than sure she could get them through the gates of Erebor unharmed without the aid of a full, armed platoon of grim, if well armoured, dwarves.

"I guess I should be calling you ambassador instead of jailer now?" There was just a twinkle of amusement in Dwalin's eyes that took the sting out of what could have been a disparaging statement as she dismounted in front of him.

"Commander Dwalin." Tauriel inclined her head to the tall dwarf. He was unlike the dwarves that moved around him; tall with a head covered in geometric tattoos rather than hair, although his beard was thick and brown and unadorned the way that some of the others were. He was muscle bound and wore only light armor despite the fact that he, himself, was well armed with two axes at his waist and a large war hammer slung across his back. "Call me what you wish but my name works as well as any title." Tauriel shrugged, letting her own feelings on the matter go in hopes that the two could move past the events that had happened years ago and do their best to ensure the safety of those around them in the present.

"Dwalin!" Sada greeted him enthusiastically as Aranel pulled her horse up alongside Tauriel and raised her eyebrows as young warrior greeted the older enthusiastically.

"Dwarves tend to be very demonstrative in their dealings with each other." She explained softly as a number of dwarves in uniform rushed forward securing the reins of their horses as Dis and Elarinya dismounted. Dis walked forward, quickly greeting him and saying a few quick words in Khuzdul that they clearly weren't meant to understand.

"Shall we pause for lunch before heading on to Erebor?" Dis looked over at the elves as Mithrandir rode up and swung off his own horse and looked around him.

"Are we preparing for an attack Master Dwalin?" The wizard was frowning as he stopped in front of Dwalin.

"It seems that we are seen as a threat rather than allies." Elarinya commented dryly seemingly to the wizard but she was looking directly at Tauriel when she said the words.

"We just want to make sure that the members of our royal family are safely delivered to their home." Dwalin retorted sharply.

"Elves have not once attacked your princess and your prince's betrothed but many dwarves have. Can you vouch for all your men? Do you know for a fact that they mean them no harm?" The blonde's head snapped to look at the dwarven commander with contempt.

" _Sîdh_!" Tauriel barked and waving off her new head of security. Elarinya gave her a sharp look but stepped back, turning toward the rest of the elven retinue, her jaw set in a tight line that signaled her annoyance.

" _Á hauta sinomë_!" She called out to their people as she moved away and the muscles in Tauriel's neck and shoulders tightened.

Elves didn't trust dwarves and dwarves did not trust elves. The fact that Dwalin was still glaring at the back of Elarinya's neck as she left was proof of that if the fact that a whole platoon of heavily armed and armored dwarves wasn't enough. This was going to be just as difficult an assignment as she had feared it was and there wasn't going to be any easing into it either.

"Was this necessary Master Dwalin?" Mithrandir used his staff to motion to the now dismounted platoon.

"I did as my king bid but perhaps full armor was not necessary." He conceded with a shrug that proved he really didn't care if it was appropriate or not. "Now what's this about dwarrow attacking you Sada?" His attention swiveled to the young redhead with a frown firmly fixed to his face, that made him look even more intimidating.

"Perhaps a conversation to go with introductions over that meal that the princess suggested?" Aranel suggested her tone far more formal than it had been before.

"A good idea." Dis agreed. "Did you bring enough food for all?" She motioned toward the elven retinue that was standing at attention next to their horses watching the parley carefully. He nodded in reply.

"Thank you but that isn't necessary, we each have packed a light lunch that will keep us moving quickly toward the mountain. I'd rather not stay stationary as much as possible." Tauriel shook her head. "Let us talk quickly and then be on our way."

"That urgent?" Dwalin's frown deepened considerably.

"We have been being followed by a mixed contingent of dwarves and men since we left Imladris. We were attacked outright once and Tauriel scattered a following force a second time." Aranel replied.

"And you are?" He raised an eyebrow at her as his eyes took in her form from top to bottom.

"Aranel daughter of Luthon and Mirel; emissary from Imladris sent by Lord Elrond." Aranel answered him with a small incline of her head.

"Are you indeed?" If it was possible his eyebrows raised even further. "So that's where you've been hiding?" Dwalin was no longer looking at Aranel but back to her.

"I have never been in hiding. I have gone where I wanted and where I have felt that I have been needed most and that has meant that I have, indeed, been working out of Imladris for some time now." Tauriel responded, taking a deep breath before dismissing the accusation. "If we press forward how close do you think we can make it to the lonely mountain before dark?" She quickly changed back to the topic currently most important to her. She had to get Sada safely home and even with a contingent of well-armed and at least mostly friendly dwarves with them she felt uneasy.

"I assumed that we wouldn't make it to the mountain until mid-morning tomorrow." He answered.

"And if we broke down our two contingents, left the majority of them behind along with the wagons and only stopped for a short rest if the animals required it?" Aranel pressed, picking up on Tauriel's thoughts.

"Our safety is no longer your concern, we are grateful for what you have done thus far but my confidence lies with my kin. We will do as Commander Dwalin advises, if you would like to do something different then you may, we however, no longer have to do as you bid." Dis snapped tossing her hair over her shoulder in dismissal as she turned back to the dwarven commander.

"Since your safety was only put in question by association, perhaps it's Sada's opinion that we should be asking rather than your own, your _highness_." The edge to Aranel's voice was quickly moving toward disrespectful so Tauriel put a hand on her arm and shook her head. The younger elleth made a sound of annoyance at the back of her throat but nodded in return and crossed her arms over her chest instead of speaking again.

Tauriel took a deep breath and tried to exercise all the patience that Uiron had taught her. She had known this assignment was going to be tough before she had found out that Kili still lived and she knew it was only going to be more difficult now that she knew the truth but she refused to fail right out of the starting gate. She was going to get nowhere arguing with the princess and inspite of Sada's boldness the night before she had taken a backseat in favor of her elder in almost all things since they had arrived in her king's court and she couldn't see that changing any time soon.

"Commander Dwalin," She addressed the dwarf who had been mostly silent throughout the exchange. "You and I have not always seen eye to eye but I believe that there are a few things that we can agree upon. The first and foremost of theses things being that the lives of the families we serve are more important than our own prejudice or pride. I do not know who wishes Lady Sada dead, only that there are many who would gain among your people. Moving quickly with a small contingent of people that you would stake your own life on being loyal and those I feel the same about would allow us to move faster and has a higher likelihood of getting all the important personal home safely."

"Dwarves and men you say?" Dwalin his eyebrows folding over his expressive brown eyes, he was clearly not ready to be pushed into a hasty decision.

"The men, I think, were from the north. Mercenaries with no people from the look of them, though I did not pause to ask from whence they came." Tauriel nodded.

"The dwarves were Ironfeet, Blackblades and Bloodfists." Sada contributed. "As much mercenaries as the men I think. We aren't sure if they were a group who already worked together or two separate groups working together, just like we don't know who hired them."

"We do know that none of their kind live within the walls of Erebor." Dis growled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"When were you first attacked?" He ignored the princess, his focus still on the younger female.

"After I crossed the Anduin for the first time. They've dogged my trail ever since." Sada answered with a shrug.

"I see." Dwalin was frowning now. "Perhaps the ambassador is right." He looked sharply over at Tauriel again. "Pick five to come with us, leave the rest with your caravan. I shall do the same and we will ride with all haste to Erabor. Let's get the Princess and Sada back within safe walls and to their kin as quickly as possible."

"My thanks commander." She inclined her head to him before turning to Aranel even as Dwalin turned away from them and started barking orders to his own men. "Find Elarinya tell her to gather Sídhon, Eliedir and Lûgil and have them strip their horses to guard essentials and ride to the front immediately. Have her leave Thala in charge of the caravan and let her know that I expect them not only to stay with the rest of the dwarven retinue but to treat them with all respect as well. Their warm welcome in Erebor will rely on the way they have treated our allies between now and then no matter what insult may or may not be given. "

"Tauriel." The younger elleth nodded her head with a grin. "Should I assume that I am the fifth?"

"As the emissary for Imladris that is your place." She nodded before turning her head as a dwarf she did not know walked up to Sada but as the young warrior exclaimed in delight she turned back to her friend and the wizard who was looking past them with a frown. Sada had knocked a number of items from the young dwarf's hand as she had thrown her arms around him and even though she was angry at her in general, she was glad that she was once more among those whom she trusted as friends and family.

"You wish to get to the mountain as quickly as possible." Mithrandir pulled her attention away from the scene of comradery. He was frowning deeply, his eyes still watching what she could only see out of the corner of her eye.

"I fear that even once we get to the mountain Sada's enemies will be less in the open and more in the shadows but perhaps between Commander Dwalin and Prince Fili they will be able to keep her safer than I have any hope of doing out with their influence especially with the princess working so openly to undermine me." She nodded. While part of her would rather tuck tail and run back the way they had come to take refuge once more in Imladris or even in Lothlórien and hide from the reality of facing the doomed love that she still held for a dwarf prince who, even if he did reciprocate her feelings, could never act on them any more than she would be able, she knew that for Sada to be safe they would have to reach the walls of Erebor and hope that there would be solace and safety in the ancient kingdom.

A shout of alarm from Sada had her spinning away from her companions and watching wide-eyed as the dwarf-maid grappled with the dwarf she had just greeted so enthusiastically. Steel flashed in his hand as she gripped his wrist and he backhanded her with his free hand. Her hand lost it's grip as she dropped to her knees dazed, blood tickling from a split in her lips down her chin as she looked up at her attacker.

It seemed for a moment that there was movement everywhere but it was Sídhon's sword that cut through the air and right through part of the hand that held the blade. Tauriel was already moving as Lûgil wrapped a cloth around the severed portion of his hand even as she bound his wrists and knelt on the small of his back to keep him down on the ground as Sada was scooped out of the way by Dis who was sheet white and Dwalin came roaring in like a bull, one axe held in a solid grip in his hand as he surveyed the scene in front of them. The offending dwarf had already stopped struggling, giving up on his assault as soon as it had been stopped and not defying those who had caught him.

"Tol!" Sada cried as Sídhon bent and picked up a blade that had fallen with the fingers that he had cleaved from the fallen dwarves' hand. "Why?" For the first time since Tauriel had met Fili's young betrothed, she looked close to tears as one hand wiped away the blood on her chin.

" _Man agoreg, Sídhon?"_ Tauriel asked as the young guard handed both his own blade and the thin pointed blade that he had picked up off the ground to Commander Dwalin who looked like he wasn't sure who to take out his wrath on.

"Be careful my lord, I believe the shorter blade is coated with something that would do a fair amount of damage to any pricked by it." The first words were to Dwalin, the second were to her. "Lady Firebeard knocked something from this _filth's_ hand when she greeted him, when she released him he reached for something in his coat. I thought nothing of it until I saw the cross-guard and he reached for her again, _híril nín_." He looked away from her to the dwarf commander once more.

"Filth is too good a word for one such as this who betrays lifelong friends!" Dwalin virtually roared as he jerked the bound and bleeding dwarf to his feet. He didn't even try to resist, just hung limply in Dwalin's grasp, his eyes downcast toward the ground where three of his fingers lay severed in the mud.

"What have I done to you that you would seek my death?" Sada snatched herself out of Dis' grasp and practically poked a finger in the dwarf's chest from behind Dwalin who positioned himself to now allow her to pass. "You were my friend and Fili's. We grew up together, trained together, fought together!" Her voice was laced with genuine anguish and Tauriel couldn't help but feel for her. It was a deep pain, the betrayal of one who was once thought a friend.

"Sada," Dis' voice held warning as her hands reached out to grasp the trembling warrior once more.

"No," Sada jerked away. "I will know why!"

"Because we are just warriors. That we were ever as close as we were to the Princes was a blessing that none of the rest of us tried to abuse. You looked beyond your station, Erebor has to be saved." Soft brown eyes looked up filled with sorrow and guilt and for a moment Tauriel almost felt sorry for him as Dwalin shook him hard then cast him back toward Lûgil.

"Would your people make sure that he is safely brought back to Erebor with no more harm done him than is current?" His request took her off guard as Lûgil forced the prisoner to his knees in front of her. "I wish to do the harming myself and would not have my men feel they must be overzealous in retaliation to harm almost done to the Prince's betrothed." He explained himself further.

"It will be as you say." Tauriel nodded swiftly before turning to her guards and giving them each a long look. " _Mae carnen._ "

Tauriel should have known that that would not be the last sign of trouble that they saw before they arrived at the gates of the mountain but she had started to feel confident that she would be able to complete her mission and return her charges to the lonely mountain. They had already taken the road that led away from Dale and the gates of Erebor were in sight, the horses and rams had kept up a quick pace and the sun was only just beginning to set in the west casting long shadows off the rocks and knolls that lined the main thoroughfare. As they had gotten closer to the mountains the dwarves in the company had become more relaxed, their voices slightly raised as they began to speak for the first time since they had started ahead of their main force. To them this was a joyful homecoming and the jokes and topics of conversation that were bandied about between them only reinforced their good spirits. Everyone, that was, except for Sada who sat hunched in her saddle, her cloak pulled tightly around her, a heavy frown etched across her features and her voice silent.

"For your loss I am truly sorry." Tauriel found herself dropping back to ride next to her.

"I always knew that there would be those against Fili and I. I just foolishly believed that we would be able to count on the support of our own friends." Her voice was toneless, her eyes dry and only her expression showing her emotion.

"Still, I am sorry." She took a deep breath, trying to find words within her that might give Sada comfort and found herself lacking, her own feelings of betrayal still too close to the surface.

The soft whistle of arrow fletching was all the warning that they got and it was pure reflex that made Tauriel turn her head away from the sound as she, the arrow brushing gently across her cheekbone before carrying on over the heads of the others harmlessly. She reached out her hand, turning her body to use it as a shield as she hauled Sada off her horse as another arrow whizzed overhead. She pulled Sada to her feet and pressed her against her own mare's flank.

"Stay close to her, when you can, take her and ride hard to the gates. Do not look back, do not slow down." She placed a hand on her mare's side. " _Bera-in_." She said softly to the mare as she pulled her daggers from their sheaths, took a deep breath and vaulted over the back of her mare even as their retinue moved to close ranks around them.

"Tauriel!" She heard her name shouted by more than one voice as she made a mad dash toward the rock outcrop the arrows had come from, dodging one arrow and ignoring the burning in her thigh as another caught her a glancing blow before she was upon the archer and his two companions.

The three dwarves that she came upon were far more skilled with their blades and axes then they had been with their bows and they met her attack with a ferocity that she met with relish. For more than a few heartbeats she had the upper hand and then the shock of her lone attack wore off on her opponents, two of them set about her with renewed energy while panic seemed to set into the third. It was easy to ignore the way that her thigh burned and her cheek stung as she matched their attack and dispatched the first of her opponents as suddenly she caught sight of an axe she hadn't been expecting take out the dwarf to her right. The distraction was enough to cause her to step into a wild slash that cut through her jacket and bit into her bicep making her flinch backwards and stumble. She rolled away from another sword strike, bringing her blades up as she came to her feet to catch the cross guard and wrenched it out of his hands as she snarled in the face of the dwarf in front of her as his eyes widened beneath his helm.

She kicked out, catching him in the diaphragm and knocking him back into a tall boulder that stood tallest amongst the others around it and then stalked toward him as he pulled a small dagger from the top of one of his leg guards. He leapt forward and she brushed his desperate attack aside as she pushed him back knocking the blade from his hand as she sunk one blade into his shoulder and rested the other against his neck just hard enough that his adams apple bobbed against it as he swallowed hard.

"Who sent you?" She growled at him and he spat in her direction saying something that she was sure was uncomplimentary to her in Khuzdul. She twisted the blade she left lodged in his shoulder and he cried out in pain, struggling suddenly against her hold enough that her other blade's edge drew a small line of blood across his neck.

"Tauriel!" Dwalin's voice boomed out behind her.

"Speak dwarf; tell me what it is that I wish to know and I will make sure that your death is swift unlike the fate that awaits you if I turn you over to your own kind." She hissed at him.

"I will not speak under torture or threat of death. What I do, I do for the crown!" He snarled back boldly despite the tremble she could feel through her blades.

"Commander Dwalin, what would you have me do with this dwarf?" Tauriel didn't look away from her prey but was sure none the less that it was Dwalin that was indeed close behind her and inching closer by the moment.

"We will bind him and bring him before Thorin, King Under the Mountain and let him decide how best to loosen this bastard's tongue since he claims to act in the name of the crown." Dwalin sounded both out of breath and angry.

Two dwarves appeared at her side and she removed her blades from the prisoner as they took him into custody and drug him away from where she was now stood. She turned and looked at the dwarven commander and frowned. He was as displeased as she was, his axe was held loosely in his hand, blood and gore dripping from the tip onto the ground as she took a cloth and wiped the blood from her own blades only she was sure that his displeasure was as much directed at her as it was the dwarf now in their custody.

"I don't know how things are done in Mirkwood but in Erebor we do not run into unknown danger alone." He rebuked her. "You were lucky there were only three and that your attack surprised them."

"We needed them to stop shooting at Sada." Was her reply and then she looked around as Aranel arrived with Elarinya's horse prancing in tow.

"Sada took off on your horse. The rest of your guard followed her. They were being urged inside the gates of Erebor last I saw." Aranel dismounted. "How badly are you hurt this time?" The way she asked her question made Tauriel both pause and smile from the shear commonness of it.

"Nothing that a little needle and thread and some hot water won't eventually fix. For now, patch me up as best as you can so at least I am not dripping blood through the halls of Erebor when we arrive." She shook her head taking her right hand off her left arm to inspect the blood on it. "Their blades were sharp and uncoated, given a week or two the damage should be barely noticeable."

She sat on a large boulder that Aranel motioned to and watched as her friend cleaned her thigh first with fresh water from her canteen and then bound it tightly with strips of clean linen packed for the purpose of first aid. She repeated the action with her arm and then gave her a cloth to wipe her face with. The long cut across her cheek wasn't deep and had bled little but it stung when she scrubbed it and then took longer than she would have liked to stop bleeding after she was done.

They were mounted soon after and riding hard to Erebor with Dwalin at their lead and their prisoner tied to the back of Aranel's horse. Tauriel's arm and thigh throbbed in time with the grey gelding's footfalls and the small meal she had partaken in a few hours before was sitting like a hard lump in her stomach. She was both relieved to watch the great gates of Erebor swing wide to admit them as she was frightened when they shut with a clang behind them and dwarves skittered around their horses and rams, taking hold of reins and bridles to allow them to dismount.

"Tauriel!" Sada's voice rang out clear as she dismounted, a steadying hand from Sídhon at her hip as her bad leg hit the ground and she flinched.

"Thank the Valor." She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Sada's mane of wild curls making their way through the crowds with Fili, frowning, at her side.

" _I dass carnen, híril nín?_ " He asked and she nodded. "Shall I call for a healer?" His second question followed quickly.

"I am fine Sídhon. Greetings and presentations must be made before I go to the healing halls but Aranel's bindings will last until then." She shook her head and turned toward the arriving crown prince and his betrothed. " _Glassen a chened le."_ Tauriel bowed deeply to them as they stopped in front of her.

"Thank Mahal!" Sada cried. "When Lord Elrond declared you reckless, he should have added foolish!"

"Did you or the mare sustain injury?" Tauriel inquired, ignoring her admonishing tone.

"No; your mare is being cared for in the stables and only Lûgil and Grímur were injured, though their wounds were small we sent them straight to Oin and his healers which is where it seems we should send you." Sada replied the expression on her face quickly turning to anguish.

"I cannot express my thanks deeply enough for your help in Sada's safe return." Fili caught her attention as he wrapped an arm around Sada's shoulders. "You are most welcome here within the walls of Erebor. Are you well or are you in immediate need of a healer?"

"My wounds are not grievous, your highness. I sense that there is much to do before I will be able to see a healer and what wounds I have will keep until then." She shook her head.

"Then I would bid you to follow me. Dwalin will see to it that your people are delivered to Lord Círon's people and I will take you to see the King and the interim ambassador." Fili nodded.

"Thank you, your highness." She bowed again and looked quickly to her guard. "Help Commander Dwalin as he requests. Aranel will come with me and the rest of you I will see in the morning unless you are sent for." With a last nod from Sídhon and her stomach in knots Tauriel turned and followed the crown prince to her fate.

* * *

Glossery

 _Sîdh - Peace_

 _Á hauta sinomë!_ \- Stop for Rest here

 _Man agoreg_? – What did you do?

 _híril nín –_ My Lady

 _Mae Carnen_ – well done

 _Bera-in -_ Protect her

 _I dass carnen? –_ Is it done?

 _Glassen a chened le –_ It is my joy to see you


	13. Chapter 12

C12

Tauriel followed closely behind Prince Fili as he lead her down a series of corridors, up and down a couple of flights of stairs, past a guard's station to a level that was decorated with statues and wall carvings inlaid with silver, gold and mithril and decorated with different jewels and gems. In the time she had spent in Erebor after the great battle she had never been to this level and knew that she wasn't being led toward the great throne room where King Thorin would normally receive his guests nor was it likely to be a place where guests were housed which led her to believe that this was part of the mountain that was reserved for the sole use of the royal family.

After a couple of twists and turns in the passage that made her wonder if she would ever be able to find her way to this spot again, Fili stopped and knocked purposefully on a large gold gilt door that was flanked by two guards in heavy ceremonial armor. He paused for a moment, rocked back on his heels and pushed the door forward before moving inside. She stopped next to Sada just inside the room, Aranel next to her as the door swung shut once more and Fili stepped just slightly in front of them.

The silent pause after the gentle thud the door made seemed to go on into eternity. The Princess Dis was sat in a large, deep wine colored wing chair next to a large hearth where a fire was burning brightly, Lord Círon was sitting opposite her, a large clear glass goblet full of a deep red wine in his hand, King Thorin stood watching them approach flanked by Balin and a very whole and alive looking Kili while Mithrandir sat behind the king's desk, pipe in hand and staring off into the room as though he could see the mysteries of the universe. They were all looking expectantly at them and while her eyes passed over each individual in turn they were held and anchored by a set of brown eyes that made her heartbeat quicken and thunder so loudly in her own ears that she was almost surprised that no one else could hear it.

"Thorin, King Under the Mountain." Fili's voice brought her back to attention and she very deliberately made herself focus all her attention on Erebor's king. "May I present to you Aranel, emissary from Lord Elrond of Rivendell," Aranel bowed deeply as her name was mentioned. "And the Lady Tauriel, Ambassador for King Thranduil of Mirkwood."

" _Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn_." She was surprised to hear her voice in greeting considering the way that her mouth had gone quite suddenly dry, as she made her own formal bow to the king.

"We did not think to look forward to your arrival until tomorrow, nor did we expect such excitement upon it." Thorin looked between them, a deep crease forming between his eyebrows as he looked them carefully over. "You are welcome here within the halls of Erebor."

"Thank you, your majesty." They bowed in tandem once more.

"Please, can we offer you refreshment?" Balin moved a step toward a sideboard set with goblets, decanters of wine and what looked like mugs of ale or beer. "Or perhaps a healer had best be called?" He was looking straight at Tauriel as he made the remark.

"I have no wounds that cannot wait until a later time Lord Balin but I am touched by your concern for my welfare." She shook her head. "I am sure that there are many questions that need answering and that refreshments will be welcome to help the process along."

Tauriel kept her eyes focused on the aged adviser as he passed out goblets of wine and mugs of what turned out to be a clear amber ale. She tried to ignore the way that Kili's eyes followed her, burning imprints into her skin despite the fact that she refused to even look in his direction while seats were brought and beverages handed out. She sat softly in the chair offered to her and sipped at the wine she had taken with a somewhat trembling hand until all were seated and the king spoke once more.

"The events on your journey to Erebor disturb me greatly." Thorin said from where he was stood next to his sister, blue eyes focused on the fire's flames as though his words were an afterthought.

"I have spent the last decade guarding those who must traverse the roads of Arda and while bandits and mercenaries as well as the odd orc pack have attacked at times I haven't been hunted the way that we were from the time that we left Imladris until we reached your gates since the months that followed the great battle here at the gates of Erebor." Tauriel let her empty hand rest on top of the bandage that Arenal had wrapped tightly around her leg as she spoke. "Three times we were physically set upon after leaving Imladris and once harm came from one within the escort that you, yourself sent forth from Erebor."

"Tol will be dealt with along with the dwarrow still living from the attack near the gates. Once we have found what we can we shall share what we know and pass judgement." Thorin nodded, his frown deeping along with the lines on his brow.

"Both dwarves and men attacked along the way?" Kili's voice made her head snap around to look at him. He too wore a frown on his face like the others around them but all she could see when he looked at her was concern, concern and a deep emotion whose route cause she refused to examine or speculate upon.

He looked well; his shoulder length hair tamed, somewhat, his braids well-tended and held tight with silver and mithril clasps and his brown eyes dark and as expressive as her memory had recalled. The clothes he wore were finely cut and fit him well, highlighting the strength and size of the dwarf who wore them. His beard was meticulously clipped short and framed his face well and she found that time had not diminished the effect he had on her.

"Indeed, though Tauriel was the only to encounter men, I fear that if men are mixing themselves in dwarven politics the stakes must truly be high." Mithrandir spoke around his pipe to the room at large rather than any particular individual but his voice helped her to break the spell Kili had put upon her once more.

"What Mithrandir says is true, there were only men in the group that I scattered before we crossed the Anduin, it was a mixed group of dwarves and men in good but mismatched armor. Mercenaries, I would suspect and from the north. Before and after the attacks were made by dwarves alone. I am unsure if the men were meant as a distraction or were equal partners in the ventures of those who would see your brother's betrothed dead." She sipped once more at her wine willing herself to look away but finding herself unable.

There he stood in front of her, real and not a shade of her imagination. He was well and whole and only three strides from where she sat but she was barely at liberty to look at him for fear that her feelings would be discovered let alone cover that short distance and touch him. Feel with her own hands his warm flesh, the rise and fall of breath in his lungs nor the beating of his heart.

How many long nights and daylight moments had she wished for a moment such as this? To hear his voice, to speak with him and express what she had not known how to so many long years past. In the fantasies that her mind had conjured there were words and caresses, promises and explanations but instead they were as separate as they had been for every one of those ten years even though the distance had physically shortened. She had thought that just knowing that he was alive was going to satisfy that broken part inside her but instead she found part of herself wanting to break with decorum and convention, throw herself at his feet and at the mercy of those around them...

Instead, she sat straight backed and pressed her fingers against the knot that tied the binding that covered the wound on her leg as Sada, Aranel and Dis gave their perspectives and answered other questions put forth by King Thorin, the princes and Lord Círon. She would have sat there silent forever, watching the way those in the room interacted, her eyes straying to the dark haired dwarven prince as often as they could without staring openly if Fili's sudden catching of her wrist hadn't pulled her from her place of introspection.

"By Mahal, you're bleeding!" The Crown Prince exclaimed. Tauriel blinked and looked at the hand that he was holding, then down at the bandage on her leg that had indeed soaked through with blood as they had spoken. She had been so focused on his brother that she hadn't noticed him moving closer to where she was sat.

"Tauriel!" Kili's exclamation of her name as he moved quickly to stand next to his brother was meant as an admonition but made her want to cry for other reasons as her heart broke all over again over what she had lost as his hand reached for her shoulder and then pulled back to his side once more as she flinched away from Fili's touch. "Call for Oin at once!" He looked over her head toward the door where she was sure a guard was stationed.

"No, please! I am fine really, make no special fuss on my account. I assure you all, I can make it to the healer's wing on my own power." She shook her head and stood quickly, as desperate to get away from such close proximity to the younger prince as she was to get closer to him.

"Lord Balin, perhaps you would be kind enough to escort Lady Tauriel to the healer's wing so that Oin can see to her wounds and set up an escort that will take her to the rooms that she will be using until Lord Círon departs from Erebor." Thorin turned to his adviser who nodded and smiled brightly.

"Follow me lass, it takes a while to become accustomed to the twists and turns in the mountain." Balin paused next to her and offered her his arm, which she took as she allowed him to lead her out of the room and into the depths of the mountain, creating space once more between her and the dwarf that even now held her heart.

* * *

The mug in his hand made a very satisfactory sound as it shattered off the stone wall of his office. There was the sound of feet scattering on the other side of the door as servants in the hallway ran from the general vicinity of the room to escape his wrath.

They were right to be afraid.

The note that had just recently arrived was crumpled in his fist and he wanted to do much more than just throw a mug of beer at a wall. The elf's death would have been a bonus, reparation for the treatment of her betters on her behalf in the past but the continued life of the Firebeard caused more than a small hiccup in his plans.

Before the desolation of Smaug, things had been different. The head households of the seven great dwarven families had guarded their bloodlines as sacred and had made sure that the lesser members of their family clans had known their place. With the fall of Erebor things had changed and despite the Longbeards once again possessing the crown jewel of kings they seemed to have forgotten their true station in life, they clung to the simple places that held their beginnings.

There was nothing that could be done now but to go back to the plans that he originally had been cultivating for the Firebeard's death. To work with players that were not the most reliable or trustworthy made him very upset. The great dwarven families had not ever worked well together but there was more than just his own ambition on the line, there were other families that would benefit much more without the Firebeard on the throne if only they were bold enough to try.

Yes, now as the time to call on the old clans.

"Gruvet!" He shouted as he crossed to the sideboard and poured himself a measure of good whisky. Gruvet opened the door cautiously and knelt, head bowed only a step inside the room. "My Lord?"

"Bring the birds, I have messages to send!"

* * *

She had two hours before breakfast.

Every bone in her body ached, her muscles felt every stitch that Oin had put in her arm and leg and the cut on her face itched uncomfortably making sleep impossible even if she had been able to sleep knowing that she still had formal matters to attend to and an appearance at a formal court function where she would be acknowledged as the official ambassador for her king all while she continued to ignore the fact that she would be unable to speak her mind to the one individual she dearly wished to. She let her head fall forward and closed her eyes as she pressed her forehead into her mare's soft coat and took a steadying breath.

"This is not where I thought that I would end up." Tauriel breathed out and watched the mare's ear flick back to her even as she took another mouthful of the sweet smelling hay that had been provided for her. She could have the horse's full attention if she wanted it but that wasn't why she had spent most of the night in the stall.

How had things changed so drastically in less than a week?

One minute she was out in the world, master of her own fate and free to do as she pleased and now she was locked away in a mountain that she was beginning to believe deserved the moniker that had been bestowed upon it. She had become used to relying on herself, nursing her grief in such a way as she could use it as a tool to her benefit and that of others. But she had been living a lie; she had read the signs given her and ran blindly away from what she had been unable to accept and never looked back.

Now she was an ambassador to Erebor. Once more surrounded by thick, deep walls of stone but this time not by her own choice. How as she supposed to do this job and pretend not to feel at the same time? Urion had always complained that she was too ruled by her passions and her own sense of what was right and wrong and did not take enough time to look dispassionately at the bigger picture. He had despaired of teaching her how to school her features to feign indifference the way that the others seemed naturally able or to keep her mouth shut while her betters debated issues of the realm.

"I should send you home, turn you loose to make your way back to the wide open plains of Rohan and to run among your own kind, free under an unending sky." Even as she spoke the wistful words she knew that she would not do such a thing, no, her mare represented freedom and escape and she was unsure if she would ever be able to give that up. The mare snorted into her hay and Tauriel found herself smiling.

"True, I may need you for more than just support before long." She twisted her fingers in the soft copper mane and sighed deeply. "But we're going to have to give you a different name. I doubt that anyone in Erebor will appreciate the one you currently hold." A different name for the mare was a distraction, a way to let her mind wander to other things, things that did not revolve around a dark haired prince that she would have no hope of avoiding any other way. "What was it Cwene said they had considered calling you? Rhiannon? For an old, nearly forgotten goddess?"

"She has more than one name?" Kili's rich baritone had her head snapping up and had her transferring her weight away from the mare to rest squarely on her own two feet again despite the dull ache in her injured leg. She looked at him cautiously, surprised to find him alone without guard, companion or sibling nearby the way that she had expected.

He looked well rested, his hair freshly combed and braided, his clothes freshly pressed and richly decorated in a way that seemed almost at odds with the mischief in his brown eyes. He looked the same as when she had first encountered him in the woods and cells of her king, the only time that she had truly known him to be hale and whole. No pallor of sickness or near death clung to skin that had managed, somehow, to retain the look of one who had spent long hours outside under the sun.

"Rendered you speechless, have I?" He grinned and she found herself able to come back to herself again. "If I had known you were going to spend the night in the stables rather than the healing halls, I would have come to see you much sooner."

"I thank you for your concern, your highness, but it is misplaced." She found her voice and remembered her manners enough to bow the way that she would have in front of her own prince had the occasion called for it. "I was not grievously injured and needed only a few stitches and fresh bandages. There was no need for me to take up more of the healer's time or energy." She untangled her fingers from her horse's mane only to place them on the warm muscle of her shoulder instead as her chestnut head came up and she looked with interest at the intruder to the peace they had previously been surrounded with.

"So you came to the stable?" The mirth and mischief that had ruled his expression before faded away and a frown had hardened his features.

"I have spent much time in the last few years, traveling and sleeping rough. Finely appointed rooms and luxurious furnishings will take some time to get used to. I hadn't expected to ever come back to the east again." Her throat felt dry and her mouth like it was filled with cotton. Here he was, finally, standing in front of her and she found she did not know what to do or say, all of the things she had long thought important deserting her and leaving her next to mute.

"I see." His words were clipped short and he had stiffened. "Then I will leave you to your peace until our scheduled meeting." He bowed formally himself, a movement that she mirrored out of pure reflex before he turned on his heel and left the stable doorway.

For a moment Tauriel stood frozen as the implications of the exchange she had just had became a reality to her shock addled mind. She had greeted him with formality, like one would a stranger despite the playfulness of his initial comments. For all that he seemed familiar, he appeared unrecognizable or perhaps it was that she was too much changed by circumstances and the world that she had walked in.

Grief of another kind took control of her, making her knees weak and chest tight. She took the few steps across the stable to perch herself on a tightly bound bale of straw that had been placed along one side for future use, her hand reaching inside her coat and pulling out the rune stone. The blue-black stone was warm in her hand from where it had been hidden in the pocket close to her skin and looked the same as it always had as she turned it over in her fingers, seeking comfort from the familiar action and finding none of the peace she had found in the past.

What had she done? Had she dwelled so long in dreams and memories of the past that she was unable to move past them and make sense of reality? Would she ever have the opportunity to do things right after this blunder and if so would it be best for them both, perhaps, if she let him believe that she held no more regard for him than that of a friend? Could she live like that and not go insane?

She let her head fall into her hands, ignoring the irritation from the cut on her face, the press of the rune stone against her uninjured cheek and for the first time since leaving Imladris allowed her eyes to produce the tears that had so often been close to the surface. There had to be a way to fix the problem that she had been presented with or if there was no solution available perhaps there was a way to escape entirely. She pushed the tears away in frustration, her hand clenching tightly around the stone as she swiped away at the moisture on her cheeks. Running away from her problems had become far too easy a defense mechanism and if she was truly honest with herself, it had left her weary to the bone but she could not allow her circumstances to break her now.

"Tauriel?" This time Kili's voice was tentative, soft even, but his presence didn't surprise her as it had before, if she hadn't truly been expecting it, she had been hoping for it.

"I believed you dead and buried." She looked up and the words that she couldn't say before came tumbling out of her mouth as she allowed her eyes to find his. "I waited and I watched and then Thorin called for Bard to attend him. The fire had gone out and I knew that you had died, that I couldn't stay and watch what was to come. I couldn't face the reality of a burial or bring myself to throw myself at the mercy of my King so I went west and came no closer to Erebor than Edoras since."

"You've believed me dead for ten years?" He was the one frozen in place now as if he could not comprehend the words she had spoken.

"For longer than that." She confirmed. "I only found out that you lived not yet two days ago."

* * *

Glossery

Gîl síla erin lû e-govaded vín. - A star shines upon the hour of our meeting.


End file.
